


Kaleidoscope Heart

by jordanKdan



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-13
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2018-12-01 17:39:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 68,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11491350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jordanKdan/pseuds/jordanKdan
Summary: Yoon Jinri likes Ong Seongwoo. A lot. But she doesn’t want to go near.Ong Seongwoo is a dream— a beautiful one indeed, and she doesn’t want to ruin it.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so i kind of made a prologue so this is a new chapter, chapter 1 is moved to chapter 2. ps, thank you innisfree for the 360 video ilysm thank you for making my dream come true hehet

I have never felt this deeply for someone.

Simply seeing him across campus makes my day, no matter how shitty it started. Hearing his voice makes me feel like my heart is going to jump out of my chest or explode anytime soon, and being anywhere near him makes me feel  hella nervous as I think of different ways on how to present myself decently without looking creepy and ugly and shitty at the same time.

Don’t get me wrong though. I’m not in love, I just happened to have a strong feeling of attraction towards a certain guy. How can you fall in love with someone you don’t even know?

I can still remember how we first met— or how I first met him. I was a freshman, he was a sophomore that year. Since I am the kind of person that isn’t fond of human interaction, I chose to sit at the back with my two good friends, Minhyun and Jaehwan. Ever since the previous semester, we always chose seats at the back so we can do whatever we wanted when we feel bored or sleepy. It was also an excuse for me to watch everyone who goes inside the room since watching people entertains me in a way I cannot explain.

How he looked that day as he entered the classroom half-filled with people is still clear to me— a plain black baseball cap and a black and white striped sweatshirt tucked messily in his faded black jeans. At first I wasn’t able to see his face clearly, however, what intrigued me the most were the three moles on his left cheek. They looked like a constellation, and it stood out from his pale skin. As soon as he took off his cap, I thought, _‘is it even possible for someone to be this beautiful?’._ He chose the seat in front of Jaehwan, who was busy playing games in his phone as he continuously asked me what I wanted to eat for lunch. I didn’t answer him because I was too busy staring at the beautiful person in front of me so Minhyun was the one who made the choice.

He looked perfect. Heck, even his name sounds beautiful— _Ong Seongwoo._

And when he smiled (even though it wasn’t really for me), my heart skipped a beat. That was when I realized that there would be an actual reason for me to want to go to school starting that day.

 

 

But.. the more I get close to him, the more I realize that we’re from two different worlds, and that maybe, our paths were never really meant to cross.


	2. how I never had the guts to say hi

Have you ever felt like your ears were going to bleed while listening to someone say the same thing for the gazillionth time? The kind of feeling where you can easily recite what the other is saying the same time he does? That is the exact feeling Yoon Jinri felt as she stared at her best friend, Kim Jaehwan, who was blabbering about how he wants his future to be like.

“One day, I will be a famous star who makes girls fall in love because of my handsome face and my very awesome and sexy voice si—”

“Oh my god ew Ja—”

Jinri was immediately cut off, Jaehwan covering her mouth with his bare hands as his eyes sent daggers straight to her. He shushed her and wiped his hand on his shirt, as if disgusted of the thing he just did. Jinri scoffed and rolled her eyes, finding this action amusing and a little offensive, but she knew that Jaehwan meant no harm. It was his way of endearment, he’s the kind of person who cannot express his feelings properly. Or at least that’s what Jinri likes to think in order to stop herself from pulling all the hair on this guy’s head because he can be a total pain in the ass sometimes. 

Beside her, Hwang Minhyun, who was too busy ‘reading’ his newspaper, just shook his head in amusement. This kind of scenario is normal for the three of them, and he knows that whenever Jaehwan started this kind of monologue, no one is ever allowed to butt in and ruin it for him. No one. What Jaehwan wants, Jaehwan gets. It’s as simple as that.  
Jinri grimaced and continued to stare at her best friend who’s blinded by his daydreaming and decided to just let him finish. The talk about Jaehwan’s future is a one-way street; it wasn’t a conversation, it was more of a monologue. He liked it better when Jinri and Minhyun just listen and give their comments at the end.

“— and you, Jinri, will fall in love with me. So hard you’re going weak on the knees. I will shake it off like it’s nothing and ask you to pretend that it didn’t happen. Everything will still be the same as before but really, things won’t be the same. I’ll feel awkward with you around knowing that you have feelings for me and that you might just jump on me when given the chance, kis—”

Of all the things that Jinri learned in the university, being able to shut her ears from Jaehwan’s endless blabbers was the best and most useful one. Throughout the whole time, she was looking at Jaehwan with an expression that one cannot decipher, she looked like she wanted to slap him hard and hug him afterwards while saying ‘there, there.’ Jaehwan’s words went in and out of her ears without her mind fully understanding what he was really saying. The only thing she got from his monologue was: “Wow, Jae. You really want to get rid of me that bad, huh?”

Minhyun nudged Jinri and laughed, folding his newspaper into two before rolling it into a tube. “Nice one, Jin.” 

Jaehwan faked a dramatic gasp while staring at Jinri in disbelief. “How many times am I supposed to remind you that it is rude to interrupt people when they’re talking?” His stare then turned into a glare, but instead of feeling neither threatened nor intimidated, Jinri laughed. Jaehwan’s glare was never scary. “As I was saying,” he cleared his throat and ran a hand through his hair, a gesture that he does every time he tries to regain his confidence. Jaehwan held his head high, once again falling into the lair called his future. “One day, the world will know how great Kim Jaehwan is, and girls would line up just so they could shake my hand and get an autograph. You,” Jaehwan pointed at Jinri, to which she responded an eye roll, “will be at the end of the line, and when it’s your turn, I would shrug you off and say ‘I’m tired, let’s do this next time’ and you will be dev— WHAT THE HELL MINHYUN!”

After hitting Jaehwan’s head with his rolled newspaper, Minhyun then proceeded to patting his back with it afterwards. “Stop daydreaming, Jaehwan.” The latter was rubbing his head while chanting some words the two couldn’t catch. Teasing Jaehwan like this has been a past time for both Minhyun and Jinri while waiting for their next class to start. “You, of all people know that even if you’re the only man alive after a zombie apocalypse or whatnot, Jinri would rather stay celibate and let the human race get extinct than end up with you.”

Jinri felt proud of her friend, giving Minhyun a gentle pat on the back as she chanted ‘good job, good job’. She knew that when it comes to teasing Jaehwan, Minhyun always got her back. The latter knows when it’s time to wake Jaehwan up from his daydreaming since he might go too far. Whenever Jaehwan starts his monologue about his future, it always involves Jinri falling madly in love with him because he got super famous and because most of the girls in South Korea want him. Listening to it never fails to amuse both Jinri and Minhyun, even though she was grimacing on the outside, feigning disgust and irritation because teasing Jaehwan was fun. She doesn’t know how his mind works, but damn, this boy is hella creative. Every time he talks about his future, the part where Jinri falls in love with him is a different scenario than the one he told them before. This time, he was able to make a story about a high-touch event, and the one before that, he was talking about Jinri staying outside his apartment, waiting for him to get home from his schedules. 

Jaehwan made a face as he took the roll of newspaper from Minhyun and started hitting him on the head instead. “I know, I know! Don’t you know how to take a joke, you killjoy!”

Jinri laughed as she watched her two best friends bickering. Sometimes, she can’t help but feel like she’s babysitting a bunch of third-graders fighting over whose sandwich taste the best. A day would never pass without Jaehwan and Minhyun bickering, and her just watching on the side, laughing (and sometimes joining the chaos). Being friends with these boys was not part of the plan when she entered the university, she never imagined meeting people as crazy as the two, but it did turn out that way. Hell, she’s really happy that it did turn out that way.

Jinri and Jaehwan happened to take the same degree program. Both of them are majoring in Broadcast Communication. Jinri wanted to be a famous drama scriptwriter in the future, while Jaehwan on the other hand, wanted to be a famous singer, or an idol, and he figured that maybe taking up this degree program might help him understand the industry before he dives into it. The two had most classes together during the first semester of their first year (freshmen were given fixed schedules so they were kind of stuck with each other for one semester). Jaehwan sat beside Jinri during their second period because he remembered Jinri as the awkward girl who introduced herself weirdly in the previous class. He thought Jinri needed someone like him to survive in the university, and ever since, he sat beside her and stuck to her like gum. At first, Jinri found Jaehwan annoying, but eventually, they did become good friends. He’s still annoying, but Jinri’s used to it and figured that Jaehwan loves to annoy the people he wants to keep close. It’s his way of expressing.

Minhyun, on the other hand, is Jaehwan’s roommate. The two boys live in the dormitory provided by the university, and since the management decides who gets to be roommates, these two had no choice but to get along. Maybe, they really were meant to be put together because the two boys, even after a lot of bickering and arguing, do click in a really weird way that only they can understand.

Being the friendly person that he is, Jaehwan introduced Minhyun to Jinri (it was an excuse since Jaehwan forgot that he agreed to meet Minhyun for dinner on the same day he agreed to meet Jinri for their project). Jinri can still remember how awkward Minhyun was the first time she met him. It was as if it was his first time eating with a girl. Even though Minhyun was as awkward as hell, Jaehwan never forgot to invite him during lunch and whenever they were free. Jaehwan is a firm believer of the saying “the more, the merrier”.  
Even though the three of them spend their free period together, Minhyun and Jinri were awkward around each other. Whenever Jaehwan goes to the comfort room or to the cafeteria to buy some choco pie, Minhyun and Jinri would steal awkward glances at each other, not knowing what to say in order to break the silence. That kind of awkwardness remained until the night Jinri and Jaehwan got so drunk after partying. Minhyun was the only sober one, and how he was able to sneak in two drunk idiots in the building is still a mystery to the three of them. Jinri started to feel sick. Minhyun took care of Jinri throughout the night: holding her hair as she puked in the bathroom of their dorm room, hugging her tightly, trying to comfort her as she wailed like a baby because of something she can’t remember, completely ignoring Jaehwan who looked comfortable on the floor, hugging his shoe tightly. 

Ever since that night, the awkwardness between Jinri and Minhyun went away, and the three of them were the best of friends. Even though Minhyun does not take the same degree program as the two (he’s a Journalism major), the three always make sure to take minor subjects and lunch period together so they could meet up and catch up with whatever’s happening with their lives (and since they know that Jinri does not like to eat alone).

“Alright, alright! Time!” Minhyun bit his lower lip as he took the roll of newspaper from Jaehwan. “No more hitting, my newspaper’s getting all wrinkly. And besides, you know that our friend here would never fall for a guy like you in a thousand— no, a million lifetimes.” Minhyun said with so much conviction, as if it was an established fact. In response, Jaehwan made a face while mumbling ‘meanhyun, meanhyun’. “Jinri only has her eyes for that guy who she can’t even say hi to.”

Feeling the sudden attack directed at her, Jinri took the newspaper from Minhyun’s hand and hit him on the arm with it. “Why are you attacking me all of a sudden? And yes, I know that and you don’t have to tell me that I can’t even say hi to him every single day of my existence.”

Of all the things that Jinri doesn’t want to talk about, a certain topic always resurfaces out of the blue, and Minhyun is always the one who brings it up. Talking about how she doesn’t have the guts to say hi to the guy she likes makes her more frustrated than she already is. 

There’s a boy in campus who stands out among the whole student population. A certain guy whose name you can’t forget, a name that you would never hear twice. Ong Seongwoo, a third year Fine Arts student who is known for his unique surname. Besides his family, he has never met anyone with the same surname. When someone says the name Ong Seongwoo, they immediately know who that Ong Seongwoo is.

The thing is, Yoon Jinri likes Ong Seongwoo. A lot. She liked how pretty his eyes get whenever he smiles (even when he doesn’t, his eyes shine the brightest), how his laugh sounded like music to her ears, and how the three moles on his left cheek looked like a constellation, the prettiest one she’s ever seen. Whenever she thinks of Ong Seongwoo, her heart goes crazy, her cheeks turn crimson, and her lips curve into a smile— the kind of smile that only Ong Seongwoo causes.

Yoon Jinri likes Ong Seongwoo. A lot. She liked how pretty his cheeks were whenever they were smudged with paint every time he draws around the university, and how his whole existence screams perfection. 

Yoon Jinri likes Ong Seongwoo. She knows that what she’s feeling isn’t love. How can she fall in love with someone who she hasn’t talked to yet? How can she fall in love with someone she’s only seen from afar? Liking Ong Seongwoo is one thing, however, falling in love with him is a different story. She doesn’t want to fall in love. Liking Ong Seongwoo gives her this fluttering feeling in her stomach, makes her feel giddy and happy and she wants to keep it that way. To Jinri, all that is enough. Liking Ong Seongwoo from a far is more than enough.

It’s not that Jinri was allergic to Ong Seongwoo. She has her fair share of things that girls who like a boy do. Jaehwan became Jinri’s official Peppero delivery boy last Peppero Day since he shared the same History class. When Seongwoo received the peppero from Jaehwan, he asked ‘is it from that girl?’ and with ‘that girl’, Seongwoo was referring to Jinri. Ong Seongwoo knows that a certain girl named Yoon Jinri exists and has a little crush on him.

How could he not know when Jinri is friends with two dorks who never fails to make her existence known whenever Seongwoo is around. Jinri’s two good friends always make sure that whenever the said boy passes by, they continuously shout the words ‘Yoon Jinri, Broadcast Communication class of 20xx’ and afterwards, say hello to Seongwoo as if they didn’t make a fool of their selves (Jaehwan is kind of friends with Seongwoo because of History, and since Jaehwan is really friendly, he found a way to introduce his roommate to Seongwoo).

Amidst the chaos that Jinri likes to call her ‘friends’, she once caught Seongwoo laughing silently to his self after seeing the girl desperately trying to hide behind her two dork friends. Why he laughed is still a mystery to Jinri, however, she was able to formulate four theories:  
a) he was embarrassed;  
b) annoyed;  
c) he really thinks Jinri is funny, she just doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing; or  
d) he thinks Jinri’s cute (this last option is obviously not the answer, Jinri just wanted to make herself feel a little better so she could sleep that night, at which she failed)

Even with all that ‘help’ from her very helpful friends, Jinri still couldn’t find the confidence to say hi. Every time she sees Seongwoo, she comes up with different scenarios that can happen if she did say hi to him:  
a) he’d say hi to her as well;  
b) he’d bow and just pass by awkwardly; or  
c) he’ll ignore her whole existence and she will end up being that girl who tried to say hi to Ong Seongwoo but failed miserably

And by the time she was actually able to decide whether she'd do it or not, Seongwoo's already gone.

Whenever Seongwoo gets near, the little amount of confidence that Jinri was able to gather just disappears. She always ends up hiding behind Minhyun and Jaehwan, who always laugh at her misery, making her little crush more obvious than it already is.

“Why don’t you just say hi to him?” Minhyun said, pulling Jinri out from her train of thoughts. Blinking, she looked at Minhyun. “He’s in our department anyways. I see him in our building almost everyday.”

Jinri let out a sigh. She never told anyone the real reason why she never tried to say hi to Ong Seongwoo. It was her little secret, it’s up to the guys to make their own assumptions. “I can’t just say hi to him whenever he passes by since he’s always with his friends who tease him and me a lot, thanks to a certain someone.” Jinri’s eyes were slowly directed towards Jaehwan who was busy grooving to a song he was singing, completely absorbed into his own world. When he saw how Jinri was looking at him, he raised an eyebrow in total confusion and mouthed the word ‘what?’. In response, Jinri just rolled her eyes and placed both her hands inside her hoodie’s pocket. 

Jaehwan is friends with Seongwoo’s friends, Dongho and Jonghyun (yep, he’s that friendly), and these two guys know about how Jinri likes Seongwoo. Being the talkative guy that he is, he once mentioned to the two, who he shared PE class with last year, that his friend kind of likes their friend. To Jinri, it seemed like Jaehwan is too talkative for the common good (not only for his own good but also for hers and Minhyun’s as well). What made matters worse is the fact that Jinri had to be in the same Biology class as Dongho, and during that whole semester, he sat beside her. Jinri and Dongho weren’t even friends in the first place, he just sat beside her since she was the only familiar face (they were enrolled in a Biology class filled with a group of freshmen, and they belong to the few upperclassmen who took that class). Dongho might look scary on the outside (that’s why Jinri was hesitant when he first sat beside her), but turns into an actual fluff ball after some time. He gave Jinri a special nickname, ‘the girl who likes Ong’, and she became his source of paper and pen throughout the whole semester.

“And you chickened out like a little shit, Jinri.” Jaehwan stated in a matter-of-factly tone as he sat beside Minhyun on the table. He gave Jinri a meaningful look, and she knew what he meant instantly. What Jaehwan said is true though, and she cannot blame him for thinking that way. Jaehwan took out a water bottle from his backpack, glancing at Jinri as he removed the cap. “Seriously, I don’t know why it’s hard for you to do that. Seongwoo’s a nice guy. He never ignored me every time I said hi to him.”

“It’s because your presence is hard to ignore.” Jinri said in a tone mirroring Jaehwan’s before. She already knows that these guys would never understand her reason that’s why she chose to keep it to her self. “I’d know you’re here even if I’m a hundred meters away from you because you are so noisy.” Jaehwan grimaced in response but didn’t say a word after.

The three were silent after that. Minhyun was busy with his newspaper, Jinri fixing her bag, getting ready to leave their usual spot since it’s almost class time, and Jaehwan, well. He was just staring at nothing in particular, thinking about what he’s going to eat for dinner. A few moments later, his blank expression slowly turned into a sly one, glancing at Jinri and then at the three guys he knew Jinri would be happy to see. 

Minhyun looked up and saw Jaehwan’s face. Curious, he followed the gaze of the latter, and shook his head in amusement. “Speaking of the devil.”

Jinri stood up from her seat and followed Minhyun’s gaze. There, she saw Dongho, Jonghyun, and of course, Ong Seongwoo. He still looked as perfect as Jinri remembered; his disheveled hair, his eyes, his smile, and even with his all black ensemble: black v-neck shirt, black ripped jeans and his favorite black bag, he still looked shining in her eyes. He’s getting closer, Jinri thought. And the closer he got, the more nervous she gets.

“Dongho hyung!” Jaehwan stood up on the table, waving at the trio until he was able to grab their attention. “Seongwoo hyung! Jonghyun hyung!” 

Dongho was the first one who noticed the boy. He smiled and waved at him before averting his gaze to the girl who looked frozen on her spot. Dongho shook his head in amusement. 

Seongwoo smiled and waved back at Jaehwan. At the same time, Jinri was staring at him, contemplating whether she’d smile or run away. 

Minhyun stood beside her and gave her a light nudge. “Here’s your chance, say hi.”

Jinri glanced at Minhyun for a moment, and when she looked back at Seongwoo, their eyes met. She’s sure that she isn’t imagining things, Seongwoo is definitely looking at her. He was looking at her, eyebrows raised, as if he’s waiting for something.

Should I say hi? No? Hi? No? Hi Seongwoo? Bye Seongwoo? Jinri’s mind was a mess, even though it didn’t show. 

Being the chicken that she is, she held her bag, took one last look at Seongwoo, turned around, and left, leaving the four boys (Minhyun, Jaehwan, Jonghyun and Dongho) dumbfounded. Once again, Jaehwan didn’t fail to make her little crush obvious.

“Dude what the actual—” Jaehwan muttered to his self as he waved at the three guys across the lawn before jumping off of the table to follow his friend. Minhyun followed him, shaking his head in amusement as he watched Jinri walk away. 

“I’m going to kill you in your sleep, Kim Jaehwan.” Jinri said as soon as Jaehwan caught up.

In response, Jaehwan laughed. “Bite me, you chicken.”


	3. when the universe decides to butt in

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU CECI FOR THE UPDATES OF MY DEAR BOYS (even tho they look like frat boys to me but what the hell)  
> My OngNiel heart is well fed heheeeet

“Didn’t I tell you to edit this article last week?” Minhyun’s calm yet intimidating voice can be hard clearly along the busy hallways of the university. Tiptoeing outside the journalism club’s office for a little rain check, Jinri wrinkled her nose as she watched Minhyun rub his nape out of frustration. Being the editor-in-chief of the university’s newspaper is a big responsibility and Jinri knows how this position makes Minhyun a little more moody than he usually is.

University hell weeks can really be hell. Students can be considered coffee-fueled zombies walking around the campus, sacrificing their beloved sleep for a decent grade which can either make or break their transcripts. Just like any normal student, she’s recently on the edge due to lack of sleep and too much caffeine intake (even though she knows that she has a high tolerance of it). Jinri knows that even though she feels like hell, Minhyun’s current situation is worse than hers since he has a lot on his plate: hell week assignments and the deadline of their newspaper’s second copy for the semester.

Deciding to just barge in and try to make Minhyun’s mood a little better, Jinri took a deep breath, holding tightly on the bag of chips and iced coffee before knocking on the door. She opened it and took a peek, looking around the place before her eyes met Minhyun’s. With a small smile, she asked, “Can I come in?”

Minhyun nodded and gestured for her to come inside. He gave his junior writer permission to go before taking a seat. “You got no one to bother, huh?”

Jinri nodded with a sheepish smile as he sat on the chair in front of Minhyun’s desk. She laid out the bag of chips, canned iced coffee and a few sweets on his desk before handing out the remaining bag of food to Minhyun’s hoobaes around the office. "Mm. Jaehwan’s at soccer practice so yeah, I’m completely lonely and sleepy.” She took a pen from her bag and used it to poke a hole on the bag of chips.

“It kinda hurts that I’m not your first choice but at least you considered me.” Minhyun chuckled softly as he opened both cans of coffee. “Thank you for bringing some food, I haven’t had lunch yet.”

Jinri wrinkled her nose as she flicked Minhyun’s forehead. The boy winced in response, rubbing his forehead while mumbling words Jinri cannot hear clearly. “Dude, it’s already six, why didn’t you eat your lunch?”

Minhyun shrugged as he ate a few chips. “Too busy.” Were only words he was able to come up with, not even bothering to look at his friend as he continued to edit the article on his laptop.

Jinri pursed her lips as she watched Minhyun get busy. If only she had the knowledge in this field, she would’ve helped him. Unfortunately, she doesn’t. The only thing she can do for him is to bring him food to eat every now and then since Minhyun tends to set aside eating in order to finish the things he needs to do. She does the same for Jaehwan too, nothing too special. Even though she bickers a lot with her two good friends, she ain’t that mean to let their health suffer due to busier schedules than hers. She also assumes that it is one of the reasons why Jaehwan likes to tease her about falling for him, which clearly isn’t the case because her relationship with the two guys is purely platonic in nature.

“When’s the deadline of all these?”

“We need to bring it to the printing press two days from now, but I want to finish it by tomorrow so we’ll have time to proofread everything twice.”

“Such a perfectionist.” Jinri shook her head as she ate some chips. Minhyun is the kind of person who likes his works perfect and completed in advance. If most students like to cram their works, Minhyun likes to do them as early as he can to ensure that it is on its best condition. He does the same to the university’s publication as well, and it is one of the reasons why most members voted for Minhyun as their EIC. It can sometimes be a hassle for most people, but they all know that Minhyun is only pushing them to be at their best. “C’mon, Minhyun. Take a break. Let’s eat lunch, well, early dinner for me, but anywho. Let’s eat, eat eat eat. Please, pretty please?”

“No. Too busy. You ugly.”

Jinri faked a gasp and threw her handkerchief at Minhyun. “Oh my gosh, you are much meaner during hell weeks.” The boy just laughed as he threw the handkerchief back at her.

“Come on, Minhyun. Let’s go out for a few minutes. Take a break, you know you need it.”

“Nope.” He emphasized the p at the end, shaking his head at the same time.

Jinri pouted her lips slightly as she laid her head on the desk. Minhyun’s busy and she knows it, but she also knows that her friend needs a break. She can sense that he’s already worn out, and that anytime soon, he’s going to explode.

“Just date already.” Minhyun’s sunbae and the publication’s former EIC, Jung Dongsu, said as he passed by the two.

“Ew.” Jinri and Minhyun said at the same time, both monotonously, making the people around the office laugh.

Dongsu shook his head in amusement as he placed a bunch of papers on Minhyun’s desk. “Take a break, man. Go eat lunch with Jinri. Let’s do this tonight, the kids are all worn out.” He gestured at their hoobaes who looked like they were going to fall asleep anytime soon.

Upon hearing this, Jinri sat up, smiling cheekily like a child who just received a lollipop. She looked at Dongsu and mouthed the words _‘thank you’_ , and the older boy gave her an acknowledging nod in response.

Minhyun let out a sigh of defeat and took off his glasses before nodding. “Alright, hyung. Let’s take a break and continue the presswork tonight.”

Dongsu shook his head. “No, you are worn out. You need to rest. Go home and we’ll pull an all-nighter tomorrow.” He looked at Jinri, who’s grinning gratefully at him. “Make sure he gets to eat and sleep properly, okay?”

Jinri nods as she stood up from her seat, pulling Minhyun with her. “Yes, sunbaenim. Got it. Sleep and eat properly.” She then looked at Minhyun as slung her bag on her shoulder.

“Let’s go, Minhyun. Let’s eat and then bother Jaehwan afterwards, his practice is almost done anyways.”

 

 

“I told you to get decent food for yourself, Hwang Minhyun. Why on earth did you buy three kinds of kimbap instead?” Jinri stared at Minhyunin disbelief as the guy holding a bag of kimbap walked towards her.

Smiling, Minhyun just shrugged nonchalantly and sat beside Jinri on the bleachers. “I’ve been thinking about kimbap since this morning.”

Knowing that she cannot do anything about it anymore, Jinri just nodded and decided to focus on her sandwich. Minhyun has eating habits that she can never understand. The important thing is that her friend does eat well when he decides to eat.

Instead of eating in the school’s cafeteria, the two decided to just buy their own food and eat it while waiting for Jaehwan’s soccer practice to get finished. Even though Jaehwan’s dream is to become a singer, he had to set it aside and choose soccer over it. He was able to get in the university through a scholarship provided by the school’s sports committee, and in return he has to play for the university’s soccer team. Both Jinri and Minhyun acknowledge the fact that Jaehwan really is a good soccer player. Maybe if his singing career doesn’t work out in the end, Jaehwan might make it big in the soccer industry.

Minhyun took out his first batch of kimbap from the bag and unwrapped it, glancing at Jinri who is busy picking out the cucumber from her food. “Give it to me.” He held his plate of food in front of Jinri, gladly receiving the slices of cucumber she doesn’t like to eat. “Is that your dinner?”

Jinri nodded slowly, chewing on her food she stared at the wide field where Jaehwan is. “Jisung oppa’s still in Jeju for a certain seminar or something.” Jisung, Jinri’s older brother, usually goes out of town for seminars and meetings related to his job. Jinri isn’t really sure what it is, but she knows that it has something to do with the hotel industry.

“Tell him to bring home some jeju oranges, I heard they taste good.”

“I already did. He’ll be arriving tomorrow morning, I guess?”

Minhyun groaned, not being able to talk since his mouth is filled with kimbap. Jinri looked at him with an amused expression on her face, waiting for the boy to be able to say what he wanted to say. “Presswork, tomorrow. Save some for me, don’t let Jaehwan that pig inhale them all.”

“Wow, look who’s talking. As if you won’t inhale them all if you’re there.” Jinri shook her head in amusement as she pulled out another slice of cucumber from her sandwich, placing it on Minhyun’s plate afterwards. “I think oppa will bring home a lot since he’s going to send some to mom and dad at home as well. There’ll be lots fo—”

“YOON JINRI MY MAIN MAN WASSUP!” Kim Jaehwan’s voice can be heard across the field, fully grabbing not Minhyun’s and Jinri’s attention, but also, of the other guys in the field as well.

 _What the actual fuck, Kim Jaehwan,_ Jinri cursed in her head, trying her best not to do so in actuality. She gave Jaehwan a sarcastic smile and a small wave.

“Is that food? GIVE ME SOME! COME HERE SWEETIE!” Jaehwan, who’s fully drenched in sweat, chanted as he jumped repeatedly. The rest of the guys on the field laughed as they watched Jaehwan dance like an ahjussi.

“SWEETIE MY ASS.” Jinri shouted in response before standing up from her seat. “When will he ever run out of energy?” She asked Minhyun as they went down the bleachers to go to their friend. Minhyun was walking slowly, trying to balance his bag of kimbap and the small plate and chopsticks he was holding.

“What are you eating, Jin?” Jaehwan cheerfully asked as he ran towards Jinri, stopping in a full halt as the girl held her hands quickly in front of her.

“Don’t get any closer, you sweaty person.”

Minhyun laughed at Jaehwan, and if he could, would’ve pointed his fingers at him as well, but his hands were too busy with his kimbap.

“How sweet, Jin.” He walked closer to her, not close enough for the girl to hysterically shout ‘ew’, to take bite from her sandwich. “What’sh thish, chicken?” He asked, mouth full.

“Yeah, chicken.”

“Why on earth are you eating your brother? Or sister?” Jaehwan looked at her as if she committed a severe crime.

Jinri blinked, trying to decode what Jaehwan meant, but was at a loss. She really doesn’t understand how his mind works. “What?”

“Chicken?” Jaehwan said in a matter-of-factly tone while pointing at the burger then at Jinri. “Like the literal sense, and as the actual epitome of a chicken when it comes to social interaction.. which is you?”

“F*ck you. I’m not giving you any of this.” The girl glared at the said boy, holding her food possessively and as far away from the other.

“Oh come on, don’t be selfish!” Jaehwan whined like a little kid. “Don’t be selfish in front of the man of your dreams!”

“You’re not the man of her dr—”

“I KNOW, MAN.” Jaehwan immediately cut Minhyun off. “I’m talking about Ong Seongwoo. He’s here.”

From her burger, Jinri’s attention was suddenly switched to the sweaty friend of hers. With an eyebrow raised, Jinri looked at Jaehwan as if he was speaking alien language. “..what?”

“Ong Seongwoo is here.”

“Bullshit, stop teasing me.” Jinri rolled her eyes as she took a bite from her food. Minhyun, who is too busy eating his kimbap, just watched the two from time to time.

“I’m serious!”

“Dude, isn’t your soccer practice today?”

“Yeah, and it finished early so a bunch of guys came to play. And that includes Dongho hyung, Jonghyun hyung, and your man.”

“He’s not my man.”

“Don’t deny it.”

“Ha. Ha. Stop teasing Jinri, Seongwoo’s not there.” Minhyun confidently looked at the group of guys walking towards the bleachers, and his smile was slowly replaced with a blank expression. “Yeah, he’s there.”

Sulking, Jaehwan took Jinri’s burger and started to eat it. “You treat me as if I’m a liar. I’m actually hurt, you know. I tease you a lot, but you know I’m not a liar. I m— where the fuck are you going?” He was a little surprised and dumbfounded at the same time as soon as Jinri started walking away.

“Hey, Yoon Jinri! Where are you going?” Minhyun said as he watched their friend walk away.

Jaehwan looked at Minhyun, and the latter just shrugged. “Yoon Jinri! Are you pissed at me? Hey!”

“Just let her, Jaehwan. Seongwoo’s here, maybe that’s the reason why.” Minhyun handed Jaehwan a slice of kimbap.

Jaehwan let out an exasperated sigh before rolling his eyes. “Alright, alright. There she goes again. Walk away you chicken!!!!!!!!!!”

 

 

 

Jinri isn’t sure what to call it, but she does know that the universe is trying to send her a message.

After that day in the soccer field, she began to see Ong Seongwoo more around campus.

When she went out of the classroom one time to go to the bathroom, Ong Seongwoo was there, standing by the hallway with Jonghyun and Dongho. She had to go back inside and decided to just pee after class.

The next, she was headed to Minhyun’s office to get her things since her classes were going to start soon, but then Seongwoo’s locker had to be in front of the journalism club’s office, so she went to class with nothing but her phone. They had a quiz that day and she had to beg Jaehwan to lend her a pen and give her a sheet of paper (the whole time Jaehwan was looking for the pen he was laughing at Jinri while chanting the word _chicken_ over and over again). Jaehwan failed the quiz, Jinri passed.

After that, while crossing the street with Jaehwan, Seongwoo was there at the other side, busy texting as he waited for the bus. Jaehwan greeted Seongwoo, Jinri just walked quickly away from the sidewalk as possible. Jaehwan laughed like he usually does and she received endless teasing from the boy that day as well.

Jinri kept on thinking that maybe, just maybe, the universe is trying to tell her something. Unfortunately, she doesn’t have time to listen to the universe during their finals week.

People say that when you’re in a hurry, the universe decides to butt in and make your life a living hell. Jinri proved it to be right on that specific day.

During that specific day, Jinri wasn’t able to sleep properly. The night before, she had to finish the draft for her pre-thesis class which she was barely able to salvage. She had to start over again since she figured out that her analysis isn’t on point. Even though she isn’t a perfectionist, she wouldn’t settle for a shitty work. It was a good thing that her mind works better when in a hurry, so she was able to finish her paper by dawn.

The paper’s deadline is at noon, and it’s almost eleven in the morning. If she wouldn’t be able to pass this subject, she’s going to repeat the same subject next year and not be able to graduate on time.

She took a quick shower and wore the first pair of jeans she could get hold of, a simple white shirt and her favorite hoodie. On her way to school, the taxi she rode decided to take a different route, and that was where she spent most of her time. On top of that, the driver’s an ass. She knew that he only took that route so the rate would go higher. She still wasn’t able to print her work since there were a lot of computer café around the university.

The first computer cafe she went to ran out of paper; the second one didn’t have a working printer since it’s exclusive for gamers, and the third one had a freaking long line so she had to find another one if she wanted to make it on time.

As soon as she reached the last computer café near the university, she bumped into Jaehwan who’s already holding a print out of his work. The two didn’t have time to bicker, the only thing Jaehwan told her was: “If you get a little late, I’ll try to stall Professor Nam for a few minutes.” During times like this, Jaehwan is a really reliable friend.

  
Jinri went inside shop and waited in line for her turn. Due to all the running that she did, she was all sweaty and looked like she needed to comb her hair. _I look shitty_ , she thought as she fixed her hoodie, _but what the hell, it’s not like I’m going to see Seongwoo today._

Unfortunately, you never know when the universe will try to make your life worse than it already is. For Jinri, it just had to be that specific day.

Even from the back, she knew that that guy is Ong Seongwoo. However, she was trying to use up all of her lucky cards to pray to anyone who’s listening that she just saw wrong.

But no. It just had to be that specific day.

The guy took a glance behind him, and the moment their eyes met, Jinri knew that she really is doomed.

 

_Oh shit._


	4. it just had to be that specific day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there might be typos since i'm too lazy and sleepy while writing this heehet  
> AND WANNA ONE ALBUM PRE ORDER MAKES ME CRAZY WHAT IS MONEY

_Of all days, why would I run into him like this? On days when I look my worst, when I look like the shit I am._

Jinri tried her best to act as if she didn’t see Seongwoo: she quickly averted her gaze and started to hum a random tune, every now and then checking her phone. What’s worse is that the girl in front of her left, so she is the one directly behind the said guy.

When she was sure that Seongwoo isn’t looking, she covered herself with the hood of her hoodie since she doesn’t want him to see her again in that state (wet and messy hair, pale face with not even a hint of color and big, dark bags under her eyes). If she’s asked to think of one word to describe herself on that specific day, it had to be this word: _disaster._

She let out an exasperated sigh as she closed her eyes. _Thanks a lot, universe._ Her mood from then on was not really at its best. She knew that she was running out of time, and if she doesn’t make it, she’s screwed. More than she already is.

“Uhm, sir?” the voice of the guy at the counter distracted Jinri from going deeper into her thoughts. It was Seongwoo’s turn, but there seems to be a problem. The guy with black rimmed glasses knocked on the counter in order to grab Seongwoo’s attention. He was too busy checking the pages of his print-out while listening to music. “Sir, your credit card is not working.”

Seongwoo looked up and pulled out one earphone. “Mm?”

_His voice sounds really g—focus, Jinri!_

“Your credit card’s not working, maybe your account was blocked or something.”

“But I was able to use it just this morning, how can it not work?” Jinri didn’t see how he looked like, but with the tone of his voice, Seongwoo did seem like he’s also on the edge, just like any normal university student during their finals week.

The guy at the counter simply shrugged. “How are you going to pay for this, sir?”

Seongwoo let out a sigh and took out his wallet from his back pocket. He took a few bills which is certainly not enough for his print out. “My money isn’t enough. Can I take the papers first then come back with the rest of the payment?”

“Nope, you can’t take this without the full payment. Sorry, shop rules.”

“But I need to pass this by noon!”

“I really can’t. Sorry.”

“But I need to pass this paper by noon and I only have a few minutes!” Frustration is evident in the way Seongwoo tried to reason with the guy. “Can’t you make an exception? I can leave my ID or my ph—”

“I’m really sorry, I’m going to need to hold onto this first until you pay for it.” The man took the thick print out from Seongwoo’s hands and placed it on the counter. He then looked at Jinri and gestured for her to come closer.

Seongwoo let out a frustrated sigh as he took out his phone from his pocket. When he turned around, he accidentally bumped into Jinri and dropped his books on the floor as a result. Jinri bit her lower lip and mentally cursed herself for being in the way. Out of guilt (and since she didn’t want to seem like a cold, ruthless and heartless person to Seongwoo), she bent down to help him with his books. As she stood up, she pulled her hoodie down to cover her face more and handed Seongwoo his books with her other hand. Her hand was both shaky and sweaty out of nervousness. What a good day to be alive.

_I hope he won’t recognize me, please help me I look like shit._

Jinri looked up to get a glimpse of his expression: he was staring at her with an expression she can’t quite distinguish. Whether it’s frustration, irritation or curiosity, she really can’t tell. She can feel blood rushing to her pale cheeks as she felt Seongwoo’s gaze on her.

She was so sure that she isn’t a big fan of clichéd romantic ideas such as the concept of time stopping when you’re in front of the person you like. Jinri is a sucker for rom-com movies but such clichéd ideas were just too unrealistic for her. They were all cheesy, too used up and cringe-worthy. Maybe it is because of her lack of experience in the field of dating and love, but she used to be skeptic about those kinds of ideas.

However, that specific day was different. Not because of how the universe tried to make her life seem like hell.

At that specific moment, with Seongwoo right in front of her, staring at her with his beautiful dark brown orbs, she just proved herself wrong. It did feel like time stopped, and all that she was able to hear was the sound of her heart beating violently as if it would jump out of her chest. _Dugeun, dugeun._

She now knows why. Those kinds of moment doesn’t just happen everyday, it takes one special person to make any moment that special.

“Thanks,” Seongwoo’s voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts.

Jinri blinked quickly, trying to clear her previous thoughts in order to come up with a sensible answer. “Y-you’re welcome. Sorry, I was in the way.”

Seongwoo pursed his lips into a thin line and shook his head. “It’s not your fault, I should be apologizing instead. Sorry. Go ahead first.” He bowed politely at me before heading out of the shop.

Jinri is so sure that her mind stopped functioning for a few seconds, and that the only thing in it is Seongwoo. She can feel her cheeks blushing as she bit her lower lip, trying to fight the squeal that’s threatening to escape from her lips.

_So this is what talking to Seongwoo feels like._

Her heart felt so light, as if she was jumping on the clouds. If she could, she would’ve jumped out of joy and sing happy songs to express how happy she was. Just that little interaction was enough to bring her to cloud nine.

“Miss, I know you’re overwhelmed by that guy, but please, give me your flash drive or just go because a lot of people are waiting behind you.” Her cloud nine moment lasted only for a few seconds, and her mind started to function again. Jinri looked at the guy by the counter, glaring at her as he tapped his fingers on the thick print out.

Out of embarrassment, Jinri cleared her throat and fixed her hoodie. She handed him the flash drive and told him the name of the file. “It’s the file Y-J-R Pre-thesis final final final.”

“During finals week, you can’t fangirl like that, miss.” The guy by counter shook his head out of annoyance, which Jinri chose to ignore. Instead, she looked outside to check on Seongwoo who’s talking to someone on his phone, impatiently tapping his foot on the ground. From the looks of his figure, he seemed nervous. Professors in their school take deadlines seriously. A work submitted one minute late is still considered late and is unacceptable.

Jinri knew the consequences of late works, and she knows that there is a way for her to help Seongwoo.

“Uhm, excuse me. What was the problem with his work?”

“Whose work?” the guy answered without even looking.

“The one before me.”

The guy gave her back her flash drive and looked at her. “Oh, the guy you like?” Jinri blushed and scrunched her nose. He didn’t have to be that blunt. “He can’t pay for his work since his card won’t work, and as you can see, he doesn’t have enough money with him.” The guy then proceeded to compile Jinri’s print out before handing it to her.

Rummaging through her bag for her wallet, she asked, “How much is his work? I’ll pay for it as well.” She took out a few crisp bills from her wallet and placed it on the counter. Jinri looked at the guy as he took her money and placed it inside the cash register.

“What?” The guy looked at her, blinking.

“My change?”

“Uhm, you don’t have any change. You paid for his work, right?”

“His work costs that much?” Jinri’s eyes widened, only realizing how much money she spent for Seongwoo. She was supposed to buy herself some expensive treat after submitting her work, a form of reward for being able to finish the semester successfully. It has been her little form of reinforcement for herself every semester since she knows she went through a lot. Maybe this semester would be an exception.

“Yes. Bye. Next!”

Jinri wanted to punch herself for being so selfless, but there’s no going back now. She needs to stand by the decision she made.

_The things you do for Ong Seongwoo.. do you really like him that much, Yoon Jinri?_ She thought as she walked out of the shop. As soon as she reached the door, she walked as quickly as possible in order to escape Seongwoo and his possible questioning for what she just did (and also because she was too ashamed of what happened). Jinri bit her lower lip as she looked at her wrist watch.

She’s only got ten minutes before the deadline.

She’s oh so doomed.

 

 

 

_“Where the hell are you?”_  Jaehwan was literally screaming through the phone as Jinri ran with all her might towards their department’s building. She been running as fast as she could for the past five minutes, and so far, everything’s on her side. Nothing has come to stop her from running smoothly across the university in order to reach their department on time.

“Something came up! Tell you later! Professor Nam?” Due to her shortness in breath, Jinri wasn’t able to come up with complete sentences. She knew that Jaehwan understood her anyway.

_“He isn’t here yet, but it’s almost time. HURRY UP YOU SHIT!”_ Jaehwan really is an affectionate friend, and Jinri knows it _so well._

“Guard the door for me!” As soon as she entered the building, she ran faster than she already is. Jinri skipped through the stairs, and even though she felt like she might throw up anytime soon, she didn’t stop. She cannot risk her current standing, and most of all, she doesn’t want to get delayed. Throughout her whole university life, only papers and deadlines like this can bring out the sleeping runner within her. On normal days, she’s too to walk. If she can only roll out of class, she could’ve done so.

_“Faster! Jinri, fast— fuck he’s here! Faster, you shit!”_

“Stall him! Hold his pants, pull his hair, trip him! I don’t care! Do whatever you want if you want the both of us to graduate together!!!”

_“The things I do for you, Yoon Jinri. YOU OWE ME THIS ONE!”_ Jinri heard Jaehwan sigh from the other line, and a few seconds later, all that Jinri can hear from the other line is Jaehwan’s fake cry. _“Sonsaengnim…..”_

_“Get off of me, Mr. Kim!”_ Professor Nam’s flustered voice can be heard from the other line. Upon hearing this, Jinri ran as fast as she could, already making her way towards the floor where the professor’s office is. _“What is your problem, Mr. Kim?!”_

_“Seonsaengnim… I got my heart broken! Some girl fooled me and took my money!!!”_

_What the hell is that story?!_ Jinri thought to herself. Upon reaching the fourth floor, she hung up her phone. She can already see Jaehwan from afar, acting with all his might as he hugged Professor Nam’s legs. Upon seeing Jinri, he bit his lips and motioned his head towards the faculty room, mouthing the words _‘’ll get him out of here!’_

“Do not touch me, Mr. Kim! Where on earth are you taking me?” Looking flustered, Professor Nam tried his best to get Jaehwan off of him, however, the boy wouldn’t budge. Instead, Jaehwan stood up and tried to drag the said professor away from the office, mumbling a few words within the topic of ‘some girl fooling him and taking his money’.

Being one of the best students in that specific class was actually a helpful factor. After a few moments of doubts, Professor Nam finally gave in and listened to what the heart-broken and ripped off boy has to say.

Trying to keep her unstable breathing as silent as she could, Jinri quietly went inside the office, greeting the other professors inside the room as well. In order to not make it look suspicious, she slipped in her thesis within the middle of the pile of works before making her way out.

“It all happened last night, professor.” She can hear Jaehwan sobbing from outside the office. “She broke up with me after ripping off my savings. I wasn’t able to concentrate because of what happened. I’m hoping that you might consider the quality of my work because it isn’t at its best and I know it. I’m really sorry, seonsaengnim. Can you please give me a little consideration? You know what it feels like to be in love. You know how it can make you go crazy. Seonsaengnim…”

Jinri leaned on the wall right outside the office, listening to Jaehwan’s drama amusedly. She didn’t know that her friend can act this good. Heck, he was even able to cry on the spot. It was as if it did happen to him. If Jaehwan told her this story with that kind of emotion and expression, she would’ve believed him because of two reasons: Jaehwan does not cry a lot, and because he really acted that well. He should at least try acting as a career if music and soccer wouldn’t be a success.

Professor Nam looked like he was deep in thought.

_He’s actually considering it?_ Jinri thought as she looked at the two. She decided to fix her clothes and make herself look decent while waiting for the conversation to be over so it wouldn’t look suspicious.

The professor gave Jaehwan a hit on the forehead. “Idiot.”

“Seonsaengnim!” Jaehwan looked like a kicked puppy as he rubbed his forehead. It did leave a slightly red mark on his skin.

“Why would you let a girl take all of you money? You’re smart in school yet you’re an idiot when it comes to dating.” He let out a sigh and nodded slowly. “Alright, alright. I’ll think about it since you have been an excellent student this semester.”

Jaehwan bowed continuously as their professor headed towards their office.

“Yoon Jinri, take your heartbroken friend here for a drink.” Professor Nam gave Jinri a slight pat on the shoulder as he passed by her. She bowed politely in response, trying to fight the urge to smile. “Enjoy your vacation.”

Jinri nodded, and when she looked at her friend who is busy wiping his tears with the sleeve of his sweater, she immediately let out a chuckle. “And the best actor award goes to..” she tapped on the wall, imitating the sound of a drumroll. She quickly walked towards the guy, who looked both sad and amused at the same time. Holding her phone in front of him like a microphone, she smiled at him. “Kim Jaehwan! Congratulations! Now speech.”

Jaehwan looked at her, a little dumbfounded, but was able to let out a soft chuckle. “You shit.”

“I know.” Smiling, she nodded slowly. “But seriously, thanks.”

“If you’re expecting a dramatic hug from me, then you’re not getting any of this.” Jaehwan smirked as he gestured at his body.

Deciding to just go with the flow, Jinri smirked back and opened her arms wide. “Come here, sweetie.” She puckered her lips, earning a very offensive ‘ew’ from Jaehwan as he used his arms as a shield to cover his chest.

Despite Jaehwan’s endless protests and offensive _‘ew, get off me you shit’,_ Jinri gave him a tight hug. She knows that without this crazy friend of hers, she wouldn’t be able to survive the life in the university. Jaehwan should also be grateful, since Jinri rarely give him hugs. She saves her hugs for very special occasions just like this one. She wouldn’t want to admit it, but she does thank the heavens for giving her a weird and crazy friend like Jaehwan. University life wouldn’t be the same without him and Minhyun by her side.

 

 

_“Uhm. Do you know how sweaty you are right now?”_


	5. the one where jaehwan seems like a decent and normal friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter might be a little shorter than usual but i hope it's okay e u e
> 
> ALLKPOP DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT NEWSWORTHY IS smh @ akp

“With my award-winning acting, this is the only thing I get?” Jaehwan stared at Jinri with a blank expression on his face before turning his attention to the cup of iced latte in his hands. It was obvious that he looked disappointed; he didn’t even try to hide it.

After submitting their final requirements for the semester, Jaehwan demanded— yes, demanded— that Jinri should buy him something delicious as a thank you for what he did. She didn’t have that much money with her after paying for Seongwoo’s print-out, so she decided to just buy her friend a cup of his favorite iced latte which was sold in school, in a small stall near the soccer field. Even though it doesn’t look as fancy and classy as branded ones, it did taste good.

Jinri sat beside him on the bleachers, holding her cup of iced green tea latte in her hands carefully. It had already been a habit for the three of them to head to the field whenever they were free. At first, Minhyun and Jinri stays there to wait for Jaehwan’s soccer practice to end, but as time passed by, it became their unofficial hang out place. “You’re welcome, Jaehwan.”

“You could’ve just bought me lunch instead of this.” Jaehwan examined his cup first, sniffing the drink (a habit of his) before taking a sip. “Samgyupsal would be enough.”

“As you can see, I don’t have much money with me today. I am still a student who lives off of her parents’ money so this is the only thing I can afford.” I scrunched my nose and stared at the empty field. Stirring her drink with the straw, she glanced at Jaehwan who looked like he was enjoying his drink. “What’s your plan for winter vacation?”

Jaehwan shrugged nonchalantly. “Not really sure. I can’t go home because of winter training, so maybe I’ll look for a part time job so I won’t just bum around in the dorms. You?”

“I’m going back home to Wonju, probably look for a part time job or just binge watch movies at home. You won’t see me for two months, don’t miss me too much.”

“Ew.”

Jinri laughed, shaking her head in amusement. “Oh, right. I saw Seongwoo today.”

Jaehwan looked at her, not even a hint of surprise on his face. “And then?”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the boy. “You knew he was there?”

He nodded. “Of course. We were talking before I went out.”

Annoyed with what her friend did, Jinri picked up the crumpled tissue paper from her lap and aimed it at Jaehwan. “Then why the hell did you act as if he isn’t there?! Why didn’t you tell me he was there?”

“What?” Jaehwan sat there comfortably, not even bothered by the continuous balls of crumpled tissue paper thrown at him. He just shrugged. “You didn’t ask me.”

Not satisfied with the answer she received, Jinri took a hold of the decent pile of tissue paper the ahjumma from the coffee stall gave her and threw them at Jaehwan. The latter just stared at her, blinking a few times, waiting for her to finish her little tantrum.

“Are you done?” Jaehwan asked. Jinri glared at him as she looked away, drinking almost half of her latte in one go. “What’s wrong with seeing Seongwoo today? I just gave you a little nudge.”

“Can’t you fucking see how I look like right now?”

“You look like yo—”

“I look like shit, Jaehwan. I’m all sweaty, I look pale and I don’t have any make up on. My face is all swollen because of the ramen I ate last night, and look at my clothes, do I look decent? No! I’m the epitome of disaster!” Jinri let out a sigh before running a hand through her long brown hair. “Why do I always see him on days like this? Fuck my life.”

“Do you want to know why I didn’t tell you he was there?” Jinri just stared at Jaehwan. “It’s because I know that if you knew he was there, you won’t go to that specific place, even if you’re running late. Whenever Seongwoo’s around, you chicken out like a little shit. And now, you’re talking about not being made up? Wouldn’t you like it when he sees you in your most natural state ever?”

“Isn’t it like common sense? What kind of girl would want to see the person she likes on the day she looks like a disaster?!”

Jaehwan let out a frustrated sigh as he looked at his friend. It’s hard to talk some sense into her when she’s not in a good mood, but it wouldn’t hurt to try. “Jinri, for the love of my momma, you are not fat, you are not ugly. Okay, maybe you’re not the pretties girl out there, b—”

She rolled her eyes. “Gee, thanks. Y—”

“Let me finish, you shit.” Jaehwan narrowed his eyes at her, knocking his fist gently on her head. “Yes, you’re not the prettiest girl out there but you’re not any of those two. Why do you keep on saying that?”

“It’s because it’s true, duh.”

Jaehwan made a face and rolled his eyes. “You don’t, you look like yourself.”

“Yeap, I look like myself, and I do look like trash. I’m fat an—”

“Stop eating in front of a mirror, Jin.”

“And I don’t look pretty. Nothing’s so special about me. Wha— OW!!!! Why the hell would you hit me on the head that hard!” Jinri pouted her lips slightly, rubbing the spot on her head that Jaehwan hit. He did give her a good, hard hit.

“So that you’d get back to your senses. Stop talking about how fat or how you look like shit, Yoon Jinri.” Jaehwan narrowed his eyes once again at her while taking a sip of his latte.

There are only two reasons for Jaehwan to call Jinri by her full name: it’s either he’s mad, or he’s getting ready for the serious talk. She can tell it was the latter.

“You see, not all guys look at the outside. Som—let me finish. I can already see you protesting even without moving from your seat or saying something. What I’m saying is, you’re not ugly, Jinri. You don’t look like trash, or shit, or really ugly shit, or ugly fugly fat duckling, or whatever insult you use to describe yourself.” He looked at her with an expression she rarely saw— the kind of affectionate look he tries to hide with a grimace— as he ruffled her hair gently. “Why are you so harsh on yourself? Is this because of stress?”

Jinri just shrugged since she didn’t know how to respond. Pep talks from Jaehwan really do kind of wake her up since he rarely does it, and when he does, he’s awfully honest. He’d tell you if you looked like garbage; he once told Jinri that she looked like a walking embodiment of death when she went to school looking like a kicked puppy (she watched the final episode of Goblin that night, and she cried her eyes out). So hearing from him that she doesn’t look like a disaster is comforting in a way.

“Did you talk to him?”

Jinri stared at her cup, chewing on her lower lip gently. “.. I did.”

Jaehwan slowly smiled as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Way to go, buddy!” he patted her arm gently. “What did you say? What did he say?”

Even though a little hesitant at first, Jinri told him the exact sequence of events. From how she knew that it was Seongwoo up until how she paid for his work.

“And..?”

“And then he went outside, I paid for my work and left.” Jinri just shrugged and took a sip of her latte. She did feel a little uncomfortable since Jaehwan isn’t saying anything but she tried to ignore it.

Jaehwan let out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair roughly. He then nodded slowly and raised both his hands, as if he was resigning. “Okay, okay. Better than nothing. So proud of you, so proud.”

“Can you please sound like you’re really proud of me for this little progress that I made?”

Jaehwan stayed silent and chose not to answer. While tapping his foot a little impatiently on the bleachers, he stared at the empty soccer field in front of them as he thought of what to say. Instead of a calm reply, Jaehwan kind of exploded.

“Why the hell can’t you talk to him like a normal person would??! How hard is it to just say, _‘hi, I’m Jinri’_?! Seriously, watching you chicken out like that is getting a little frustrating! Who knows, maybe you guys could hit it off and turn into som—”

“Jaehwan, stop.”

“No, Jinri. Listen to me. Stop being a co—”

“No, Jaehwan. Listen to me.” Jinri ran a hand through her hair before letting out a sigh. Even without looking directly at her friend, she knew that he was about to protest. She held her hand right in front of his face, trying to stop him from speaking. “Look, this might sound cringe-worthy and cheesy, but we both know that this is true.” She narrowed her eyes at Jaehwan, as if sending him a warning to fight any urge to cringe or laugh. “I know you just want what’s best for me,” Even with the warning, Jinri saw Jaehwan cringe. “But you know I can’t do that.”

Jaehwan stared at her with an expression screaming _‘what the fuck are you talking about’._

“You won’t understand. Jaeh—”

“Then make me, because honestly? Everything that you’re saying right now isn’t making sense to me.”

“Jaehwan.. I..” How to make Jaehwan understand.. well that’s a challenge. Jinri fumbled with her fingers as she thought of the best possible way to explain it. “Dude, do you know the feeling of wanting something so much? Say, a pair of shoes you still can’t buy at the moment since you’re broke as fuck. No matter how much you want it, you can’t buy it yet.”

“Uh-huh. Listening.”

“You know you want that pair of shoes so much. Everyday, you’d drop by the store to look at it and check if it’s still there. You’ll always think about how it feels like when you finally bought the shoes and actually wear them. Then that day would come, you’d be able to buy those pair of shoes. However, it isn’t the same. You weren’t as happy and excited as you were when you were only thinking about having it. It’ll feel weird, and you’re starting to think that maybe it was a mistake. Maybe looking at it was enough, that maybe, it just wasn’t the right fit, or it just wasn’t meant to be.”

Jinri scrunched her nose, holding onto her cup tightly. She glanced at Jaehwan, who is staring at the field, looking like he was deep in thought.

“The same goes with Seongwoo. I like him a lot, I really do. He’s a dream, and dreams are supposed to be good, right?” She bit her lower lip, tapping her fingers nervously on her lap. “What if he’s so different that I’d actually start to hate everything about him? I want to look back into these years and see Seongwoo in the same way— the guys who can make me smile whenever I thought of him, the person who can make my heart flutter so much it would feel like it’s going to jump out from my chest, the person who makes me feel excited to go to school because I know that there’s an eight percent chance for me to see him. For me, he’s the perfect guy in my dreams. . . and I’m too scared to find out that he’s actually nothing like that.”

The two remained silent for a few minutes. Jinri felt a little down after her little speech since she finally got to admit not only to herself that she is a coward. She’s too scared to do anything which can bring her closer to Seongwoo.

“Jinri, you’re thinking too much.”

“I’m not, it’s j—”

“Yes you are, you’re overthinking again.”

“I’m not ove—”

“Yes, you are. Why are you scared? It’s because you’ve already formed different scenarios in your head based on things that didn’t actually happen. _Nothing has happened yet._ You don’t even know what kind of person Seongwoo is. Why are you already thinking of the end when it hasn’t even started yet?”

Not being able to come up with a decent answer, Jinri pressed her lips into a thin line. If you come to think of it, Jaehwan does have a point, however, it wasn’t enough to change her mind. 

Jaehwan placed a hand on her shoulder, giving her a gentle pat. “Think about what I said, Jin. Just don’t think too much.”

“.. alright.” Jinri looked at him, and the boy smiled at her as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close to him.

“Come here. I’ll give you a hug,” Jaehwan hugged her tightly, patting her back gently. These kinds of moments are rare, but it didn’t feel awkward. Every once in a while, Jaehwan actually seems like a decent friend. “We should do what normal people do sometimes even though you’re dying to do so much more to me right now.”

Yeap, Jinri just took back what she said.


	6. the perfect way to end the semester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY FIRST OF ALL, KANG DANIEL IS EFFING ROOD FOR STRIPPING LIKE THAT (i liked it tho hehet)  
> SECOND, YGK+ & THE VIBE LABEL GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER  
> THIRD WANNA ONE SHOULD GET A LOT OF SLEEP AND STAY HEALTHY  
> FOURTH MXM IS LIT, YONGGUK AND SIHYUN TOO  
> i guess that's all, so much has happened and it isn't even august but my boys want to celebrate christmas so MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE
> 
>  
> 
> *disclaimer: i have nothing against smoking and people who smoke
> 
> * 'some' - i know what this means but it's hard to explain, maybe the song 'Some' by Junggigo and Soyou would explain it better loool

“When will the people next door move out?” Jisung said quite too loudly, actually wanting their next door neighbor to move out. The guys next door were too noisy and irritating; it was okay for them to blast loud music during the day but they do the opposite. It seems like their next door neighbors are only awake at night. Today, they chose to barbecue at the balcony, and the smell of the meat they were grilling stuck to Jisung’s newly washed clothes. A little annoyed, he took his dried clothes one by one from the clothes hanger and made his way from the balcony to the kitchen. “My clothes all smell like meat again, I’m going to have to wash all these again.”

“Are they barbecuing at the balcony again?” Jinri didn’t even bother to look at her brother since she’s too busy folding her clothes and trying to make them fit into her luggage. Since the semester is over, she decided to go home for the holidays instead of lurk around in Seoul while spending her already dead savings. Even though Jisung does earn a lot from his job, he doesn’t tolerate Jinri when it comes to spending money carelessly. “They are really irritating. I HOPE THEY MOVE OUT.”

Jisung laughed and sat beside her on the couch. “Why are you bringing a lot of clothes home when you’re coming back here after a month? You’ll have a hard time bringing your luggage.”

“Why do you even care? I’m the one who’s going to suffer anyways.”

“What are you even doing? Why fold your clothes like that? They won’t fit in the lug—”

“Stop nagging, oppa!” Dropping her clothes on the couch, Jinri pinched both of Jisung’s cheeks hard to stop him from further nagging. “I can do it on my own, okay?”

Jisung scrunched his nose before attacking his sister with a tight hug. “I’m going to miss my little sister! You’re going to be gone for a month!”

“I’m not little anymore! And stop overreacting. You’ll see me on the 25th, right?” Jinri chuckled softly, hugging Jisung back as tight. They might argue most of the time, but her brother sure is an affectionate one.  

“I’m not overreacting though,” Jisung let go of Jinri and laid on the couch. “The sem’s over, aren’t you guys going out tonight?”

If other older brothers are too protective of their sisters, Jisung isn’t one of those. Since he also went through that phase, he lets Jinri have her fun. He knows that every once in a while, going to parties and drinking with friends can relieve the stress one semester can bring. Besides, he knew her friends. If something happened to Jinri, he might just come at Jaehwan and Minhyun and beat their asses up for not taking good care of his sister.

“When did we ever forget to celebrate the end of the semester?” Struggling to keep her things within the luggage, she sat on it and gestured for Jisung to help her zip it up. “We’re going out tonight. Chungha’s back as well, so it’s kind of an end of semester plus welcome back Chungha kind of night.”

Kim Chungha is one of the very few girl friends of Jinri. The two of them met during their first year in the university since they’re both Broadcasting majors, and just clicked as if they were meant to be friends in the first place. She had to leave for Japan for a semester as an exchange student, and went home to Korea to celebrate the holidays before going back to Japan.

“Tell me again why you are bringing a lot of clothes home when you’re going to come back again next month?” Jisung flicked Jinri’s forehead as he stood up from the couch, about to answer the door after hearing the doorbell. “Are you expecting visitors, Jin?”

Jinri nodded, standing up as well. “Yep, Jaehwan and M—”

“HYUUUNG WASSUP I’M BACK!” Jaehwan said too loudly as he entered the apartment, hugging Jisung quite too roughly before heading to the kitchen. Jisung wasn’t even surprised, Jaehwan’s been to their place a lot that he doesn’t need to ask for permission to look through their refrigerator anymore.

Minhyun bowed at Jisung and smiled before going inside as well, heading straight to where Jinri is after getting asked to for help.

“There’s kimchi fried rice on the pan by the stove, go help yourself.” Jisung closed the door and went back to his seat. “What brings you two here at three in the afternoon? Clubs open at eight.”

“We’re going to pick Chungha up from the airport.” Minhyun helped Jinri carry her luggage and bring it back to her room.

“What time’s Chungha coming?” Minhyun asked as he sat on Jinri’s bed.

“At four, I think?” Jinri opened the doors of her cabinet and took out a pair of jeans and the pink shirt Jisung gave her a few weeks ago. “Get out, I’m going to change.”

Minhyun nodded. “Alright, alright~” He stood up and headed out of the room.

“Hyung, where’s your red bean paste?” Jinri can hear Jaehwan’s voice clearly from her room.

After changing her clothes, she went out of the room and headed to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. Minhyun is already seated beside Jaehwan who’s busy eating the kimchi fried rice from the pan.

“Didn’t you eat lunch at home?” Jinri asked as she sat beside Jisung, who’s seated across the two.

“I did, but Jisung hyung’s kimchi fried rice is the best.”

“Come over during your break, let’s eat together since Jinri’s leaving me alone. I’ll cook a lot for you.” Jisung glanced at Jinri and stuck his tongue out, which made Jinri laugh.

It seems like Jisung wouldn’t be lonely while she’s gone.

 

 

 

“Welcome back, Chungha!” the four of them, Jinri, Jaehwan, Minhyun and Chungha brought their glasses together and screamed _‘cheers’_ at the top of their lungs.

After picking Chungha up from the airport and helping her settle her luggage at her apartment, the four of them headed to the nearest samgyupsal restaurant in town. Almost six months of eating Japanese food made Chungha miss Korean food so much. She insisted that actual samgyupsal in Korea is still the best. After dinner, they headed to the club where most of the students from their university go to. It wasn’t a surprise to see a lot of familiar faces from school, since it’s one of the hottest clubs among their age. Besides the drinks, most of the DJs they hire are the best (even the ones who are just starting out in the industry) so you can expect a very lit playlist which can never fail to make you move your body to the rhythm.

“Drink all that up, next round’s on me!” Chungha said as soon as she finished her glass of beer. Chungha looked very much the same, except her hair got longer and is now a deep shade of brown instead of blonde.

The four of them sat at a small booth by the corner (Chungha offered to pay for the booth), still not in the mood to hit the dance floor yet. The three of them are not much of a dancer, but still enjoys dancing like idiots on the dance floor when they’re a little drunk unlike Chungha who dances as if she’s just breathing.

Chungha told them all about her life in Japan for the past semester: from her noisy roommate to the guy who kept on following her around the university. At first it was a little hard but she got used to it.

“It would’ve been more exciting if you came with me as well, Jin.” Chungha said, pouting her lips slightly as she looked at the latter. “We could’ve been roommates and went around Japan together.”

That one year exchange program in Japan was their plan; they applied and got their requirements together, however, Jinri’s application was not approved. At first, Chungha didn’t want to go alone, but Jinri kept on telling her to go for it since it is an opportunity she wouldn’t want to miss if it was her. She wasn’t entirely happy when her application was denied, but she didn’t let it get to her.

“Maybe something else is planned for me.” Jinri smiled and nodded, trying to comfort Chungha. “You’ve been there for the past six months and you still can’t get over the fact that I wasn’t able to go with you?”

She nodded, leaning her head on Jinri’s shoulder. “Yes, I love you like that, Jin.”

“Oh my god, go get a room.” Jaehwan threw a straw at the two of them. Even through the dim lights, his already red cheeks were already obvious. Jaehwan doesn’t get drunk easily, however, his face does get red as soon as he takes a sip of alcohol.

“I know you missed me, Jaehwan. Thank you.” Chungha stood up from her seat and made her way across the table to where Jaehwan is. The boy earned a tight hug from Chungha, and his reaction seemed like he was someone who is allergic to skinship. Minhyun, who was laughing beside Jaehwan became Chungha’s next target. The boy received the hug pretty well unlike the guy who’s laughing loudly beside him. “And since I’m already at this side of the table, let’s put Jinri on the hot seat! Yoon Jinri, are you still a chicken?”

Even before Jinri could answer, Minhyun and Jaehwan both screamed ‘yes’. The saying _‘birds of the same feather flock together’_ really does apply to the friendship the four of them has, since making Jinri realize how much of a chicken she is unites the three.

It is possible for them to meet Seongwoo tonight just like before. They came across Seongwoo’s group of friends at parties like these more than four times already but since Jinri doesn’t want to get close, she tries her best to avoid him. One time, Chungha dragged her to their table and tried to make her sit beside Seongwoo, but since Jinri’s not the bold type, she sat beside Dongho, who’s too drunk to remember anything and talked to him. Chungha ended up being the one who talked to Seongwoo.

“Since you don’t want to do anything related to him, I’m going to introduce you to a few guys I know.” Chungha grinned as she poured the remaining beer from the pitcher to her own glass. “Wait, why didn’t your _some_ with Sanggyun oppa didn’t work out? Or did you two end up together?”

“If they’re still together, Sanggyun would be here right now.” Jaehwan said in a matter-of-factly tone. “They broke up before this semester started.”

“But why?”

“You know the reason.”

“And besides, you like to introduce her to guys who look like they would all run her over. From Kwon Hyunbin, Ju Wontak, Yoon Yongbin. All those good looking guys weren’t serious.” Minhyun ate some of the fries on the plate, which were ignored by the three just a few moments ago. “The only decent one was Sanggyun, but it didn’t end in a good way.”

Even though Jinri likes Seongwoo, she did have her fair share of _some’s_ with a few boys from the university (most of them she met through Chungha).

Kwon Hyunbin was the first one Chungha introduced to her. They weren’t official since it was only one blind date and the differences were enough for them to agree that a second date isn’t necessary.

Ju Wontak was the clingiest of the clingy; it reached the point where Jinri felt suffocated. He’d call and text her everyday, and wants to be with her almost all the time. It lasted for almost three weeks before Jinri decided to dump him.

Yoon Yongbin was the worst; he’s a player by nature. He knew he looked good and was a little too vain for his own good. She dated him for a few weeks before dumping him because he cheated on her with not one, but three girls. He dated all four of them at the same time.

The latest one was Kim Sanggyun, a senior and a Literature major. Their relationship lasted for almost five months, and ended just before the recent semester started.

Out of all the guys she met, it seemed like Sanggyun was the most special. Unlike the others who were too clingy or too distant, Sanggyun was just the right amount of both. He took care of her well, bought her gifts, helped her with anything she needed. He was almost perfect.

Even though he knew that Jinri likes Seongwoo, he did try his best to win her over. However, he figured that her feelings for Seongwoo is stronger than that of his, so he decided that maybe, it wouldn’t just work out. On the day they broke up, he sent her a mix tape he made himself. It was a gift that he was supposed to give her on her birthday, and it is filled with rap tracks he composed for her. The last track however contained a bunch of painful lyrics which expressed how much he wanted their relationship to work out, but couldn’t.

Of all the guys she dated, Sanggyun was the only one who actually broke her heart. He broke up with her when she finally decided to actually commit herself to him. Timing’s a bitch.

“Yes, Sanggyun sunbae was the only decent one and she let him go.” Chungha clapped slowly, emphasizing how sarcastic she was. “How great is that Ong Seongwoo for you to drop him like that?”

Jinri just shrugged since she wasn’t so sure of the answer her self. It wasn’t like she was trying to stop herself from falling for others. She just couldn’t feel that kind of connection for her to actually commit herself to someone. Heck, she isn’t even sure if she might feel _that_ kind of connection with Seongwoo. Yes, she does like him, but she doesn’t know if actually liking him might help build that connection she was looking for with the others.

“Can we stop talking about Seongwoo for a moment?” Jinri let out a sigh before running her fingers through her hair in a frustrated manner.

Chungha rolled her eyes before giving in. “Alright, alright. No more Ong tonight.” She pushed Jaehwan aside and stood up, pulling Jinri with her. “We’re going to dance, Jinri!”

 

 

 

 

Colorful streaks of light brightened up the dim dance floor as the people went on with the rhythm. The DJ for that night was a certain new comer in the industry, but the club doesn’t let their name get tainted. Even though the DJ was a rookie, his set was lit and everybody couldn’t help but dance. Song after song, people sang along and danced, and it was obvious that everyone is having a really good time.

Not really minding whether she could really dance or not, Jinri tried her best to enjoy. It’s the end of the semester, she deserves to have fun and let everything go. Even if she looked funny while dancing, she didn’t care. It would be impossible for this people to remember her from this night since the lights are dim and it would be hard to distinguish faces.

Minhyun and Jaehwan were the same. They danced to their hearts content, jumping continuously while raving to the song. The four of them were determined to let all the stress go and just have fun for tonight. Besides, they won’t see each other for a month, this is a perfect way to end this one hell of a semester.

“You never really change, Kim Chungha!” Minhyun said, almost shouting so that the three could hear him through the loud blasting music. “When it comes to dance, you’re really the best!”

While the other three were dancing like people with two left feet, Chungha danced as gracefully as usual. Whenever she moves her body, different pair of eyes can’t help but follow her through. Chungha really is pretty, but dancing makes her look prettier.

Chungha just smiled and held both of Minhyun’s hand, raising it up in the air before jumping with him. Jaehwan and Jinri did the same, laughing loudly as they jumped.

“Danc— wait, I know that person!” Chungha suddenly waved her hand at the front, trying to grab the attention of the person she was talking about.

The three, all curious, stopped dancing and looked at the direction Chungha is looking at.

“..who..?” Jaehwan raised an eyebrow, trying to distinguish which one Chungha is talking about.

“The DJ! I know that person!” Chungha said in an excited tone.

“The DJ?” Jaehwan asked and she nodded. “Don’t you know like.. everyone in school?” If Jaehwan is the resident Mr. Congeniality, then Chungha can be considered his female counterpart. Due to her extreme friendliness and active participation in club activities, Chungha was able to meet a lot of people.

“Yes, the DJ! He’s my friend from a few years ago! Wow, I didn’t expect that I’ll meet him here.” Chungha looked at Jinri, smiling, as if she has a plan in mind. “Jinri.”

Jinri knew what that smile meant. “No, no no no—”

Even before Jinri could stop her, Chungha made her way through the sea of people and towards the front, where the DJ table is located. Due to the number of people on the dance floor, it was as if Chungha just vanished.

“You know what this means,” Jaehwan said with a grin, nudging Jinri continuously as he danced.

“You’re thinking too much, maybe Chungha just wants to introduce her friend.” Minhyun said, trying to feign innocence to lighten up Jinri’s mood even though he knew what Chungha’s actions really meant.

“Wow, are you new to the group?” Jinri narrowed her eyes at Minhyun before sighing. “You know Chungha. I’ll just go with the flow.”

Minhyun shook his head, smiling as he placed an arm around Jinri’s shoulder. She doesn’t know whether he’s really smiling or really drunk. “Don’t worry, if the guy’s an ass, you have me and Jaehwan. I used to do taekwondo, hi-yaaaaa!” He threw a sloppy punch at Jaehwan who almost fell back, looking quite unstable.

Jinri didn’t notice it, probably due to all the dancing they did, that both of her friends were drunk, and she’s the only sober one among the three of them. Chungha doesn’t really get drunk so she isn’t a problem. Now she has to think of ways on how to get these two drunk idiots home safely.

Jaehwan looked a little stable since he’s too busy dancing on his own. Minhyun, on the other hand, is getting a little tipsy and clingy. She let out a sigh as she wrapped her arm around Minhyun’s waist, trying to support him since it seemed like he’s having a hard time standing on his own. “Alright, alright. Let’s rest for a while.”

Minhyun shook his head, his eyes closed. “No no no! Let’s dance more!”

“No, yo—”

“No! Let’s dance!” Minhyun grinned, raising both of his hands up as he jumped to the music.

“Who’s drunk!!!” Jaehwan screamed as placed an arm around Minhyun’s shoulders, looking extremely happy as they danced to the music.

“I’m not drunk, Jinri is!” Minhyun screamed, nodding his head to the music.

Jinri just shook her head and let the two boys have fun. If these two won’t be sober enough to walk on their own, she’s going to let them crawl their way outside the club. This night’s about having fun, she wouldn’t be a killjoy.

“You guys are dr—” she stopped dancing as soon as she felt a broad chest against her back. Not being able to regain her balance, she tripped and was about to fall on the ground when she felt a pair of hands pull her up. She was met with the guy’s chest as she stood up, and they were too close to each other.

“Sorry.” The guy said with a smile, flashing his rabbit-like front teeth and his eyes turning to small crescent moons at the same time. His smile was followed by a husky laugh.

Jinri looked at the guy’s face, a little dumbfounded as her mind went into blank. _Why on earth is this guy laughing?_

“Are you okay? Are you hurt somewhere or something..?” The guy raised a brow as he looked at her. As he did, the mole under his right eye became more prominent. She nodded, blinking her eyes rapidly before looking at her arm. The guy was still holding her, as if she isn’t able to stand on her own. Why she wasn’t able to say something is a mystery. “Can you stand on your own?”

“Yes, thank you.” Finally gaining back her voice and herself, she pushed the guy gently as she took a step back. Jinri felt a little awkward with what she just did, so she cleared her throat as she pretended to fix her hair.

The guy, not looking bothered at all, was still smiling at her as he offered his hand. He leaned closer to Jinri since it was loud. “I’m Daniel, and you are?”

“I’m Ji—”

“JINRI! JINRI! HER NAME’S JINRI!” A drunk Jaehwan interrupted her, playing with her hair as he made sound effects Jinri cannot distinguish. She wasn’t aware that the two drunk guys were watching her little awkward moment with the guy with the pink hair.

“Hey, don’t interrupt Jinri and her boyfriend!” Minhyun tried his best to pull Jaehwan away from Jinri, but he was too drunk to succeed. It felt like all of his strength left his body, because he was the one who fell down instead of Jaehwan.

“Yo, dude! Don’t make a scene in front of Jinri’s boyfriend!” Jaehwan laughed as he pulled Minhyun up with so much difficulty.

“He’s not my bo—”

“There you are!” Even before Jinri could clear the situation, Chungha appeared behind the guy named Daniel. She grinned as she looked at him then at the awkward-looking Jinri. “I was looking for you there but you were gone. It’s nice to see you here, Euig—”

“It’s Daniel now, Chungha. Got my name changed.” He said with a chuckle, giving Chungha a brief hug.

“Mm, well Daniel sounds better.” Chungha smiled, patting his back. “Didn’t know you were a DJ here?”

“I’m just starting out, nothing special.” He rubbed his nape shyly.

“Well, you looked cool up there! Good job.” Chungha smiled, giving Daniel a gentle pat on the shoulder. Finally remembering her original agenda, she gestured at Jinri. “Oh, I almost forgot. I’d like you to meet my really good friend, Jinri. And those two idiots over there, Minhyun and Jaehwan, are also my friends.”

Jaehwan and Minhyun both waved at Daniel, grinning.

On the other hand, Jinri stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to respond. She felt embarrassed because of her two drunk friends who assumed that the stranger in front of her is her boyfriend.

“So, Jinri’s your name. You didn’t get the chance to tell me earlier.” He said with a smile, offering his hand once again.

“You guys met already?” Chungha looked a little surprised, her gaze going back and forth from Jinri and Daniel.

“Technically, not yet since you guys won’t let her speak.” He jokingly said, nudging Chungha on the side gently. “And apparently, your two friends over there think I’m her new boyfriend.”

“Don’t mind those two drunk people there. I’ll take care of them, so take good care of my good friend over here.” Chungha said with a grin, pulling Jinri by the arm towards Daniel, almost tripping over if Daniel wasn’t able to hold her. In a few seconds, Chungha was able to drag both Jaehwan and Minhyun away, the two screaming Jinri’s name continuously.

Amidst the loud music and hyped up surrounding, Jinri felt awkward. She can feel Daniel’s gaze on her as she tried to come up with something decent to say. It felt awkward because of what her three friends did, and it seemed like her voice and brain don’t want to cooperate.

“Mm.. so what would be the first word you’re going to tell me?” Daniel said, leaning a little too close to Jinri so he would hear her. The music was getting louder and louder and it was getting a little harder to hear others.

Jinri blinked as she looked at Daniel. “My friends are idiots.” She let out a sigh as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Drunk idiots.”

Daniel looked a little lost before he let out a chuckle. “Well, friends usually like to embarrass each other so I guess that’s normal?”

Jinri scrunched her nose and nodded. “Yep, they’re usually embarrassing. And I’m sorry, I don’t want to sound mean or anything,” she glanced at Daniel before clearing her throat. “But you’re a little too close and I’m feeling a little uncomfortable right now because for someone I just met, you’re kind of invading my personal space.”

“Oh.” Daniel nodded slowly, smiling as he moved a step back. He said something Jinri wasn’t able to fully understand.

“What were you saying?” Jinri said in a loud voice, making Daniel laugh. “Why the hell are you laughing at me?”

Daniel took a step closer, not fully taking up most of Jinri’s personal space. “I said, do you want to go out so that we can talk properly without me invading your personal space?”

Even though she’s a little hesitant, Jinri agreed. She needed to get out of the place anyways. It was only now that she realized that her chest kind of hurts after a few hours of exposure to cigarette smoke. She isn’t a big fan of smoking and her head starts to hurt whenever there’s too much smoke around her.

Daniel led the way, placing his arm an inch around Jinri to make sure that people aren’t pushing her by accident. The sidewalk outside the club was filled with people who were trying to sober up since it’s already 1 in the morning, and most people inside the club were drunk. It was a good thing that there is a nearby small garden where they were able to take a seat on one of the empty benches.

“There, feeling comfortable now?” Daniel said as he sat beside Jinri. She nodded, breathing in the fresh air she kind of missed after a few hours of being inside the club. Jinri cleared her throat as she leaned her head on her knees, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “Are you okay?” Daniel asked, slightly poking Jinri on the shoulder. “Chungha would kill me if anything happened to you.”

Jinri nodded as she sat up. “I’m okay, don’t worry. The drinks are finally hitting me and my chest kind of hurts but I’ll survive.”

“Uhm..” Daniel blinked, trying to find the right words to say. “Should I bring you to the hospital or something?”

Jinri chuckled softly and shook her head. “Don’t worry about me, I’m not going to die anytime soon.”

“You know what?” Daniel said, trying to change the topic. “I like your shirt.”

“Uhm.. thanks?” Jinri scrunched her nose as she glanced at her pink shirt then at Daniel. “Is my heart supposed to flutter or something because of that?”

Looking a little flustered, Daniel shook his head, waving his hands in the air at the same time. “No, no. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to flirt or anything. I genuinely like your shirt. It’s from Marymond, right? I actually have one like that at home.”

Jinri pursed her lips into a thin line, looking away from the guy. Well, that was embarrassing. She’s a little wary when it comes to the guys Chungha introduces to her since most of them were a little jerk-ish, but it isn’t Chungha’s fault that her friends are assholes when it came to dating. “Well, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, don’t worry.” Daniel shook his head with a small smile. Why this guy’s always smiling is making her curious. “Most people say that you shouldn’t trust guys you meet at a club, so I really can’t blame you.”

“The guys I met through Chungha were jerks, so yeah.” Jinri shrugged, playing with the loose thread on the rip of her jeans.

“Well, I’m not really nice but I don’t think I’m a jerk either so does that make me an exception?” Daniel looked at her, smiling cheekily as if appealing his self to her.

Jinri shrugged, a little amused. This guy looked like a bunny. “It’s still too early to judge, Daniel.”

Daniel nodded slowly, mumbling the words _right, right_ as he tapped his fingers on the bench gently. “What can you say about my set a while ago? I’m kind of conducting a survey, and you’re probably the first and only respondent.”

“Aww, I feel special,” Jinri looked at Daniel, smiling slightly. “Sad to say, I wasn’t able to focus on your set because I’m a little drunk.”

“You know you’re not supposed to tell a stranger that you’re a ‘little’ drunk, right?” Daniel tilted his head to the side as he looked at Jinri, a little amused. “They might take advantage.”

“Well, you’re not going to take advantage of me, right?”

Daniel laughed softly, shaking his head in amusement. “You’re safe, don’t wo— Chungha’s calling you. I think you guys are going home, your other friend already passed out.”

Jinri looked at the direction Daniel is looking at as she stood up. Chungha waving at her gesturing that they need to go, and beside her is Minhyun, carrying a passed out Jaehwan on his back.

“You know what?”  She turned to look at Daniel after hearing his voice. Daniel was smiling at her, and she didn’t know the reason why. With this, she raised an eyebrow, mouthing the word _‘what’._ The boy only shook his head, the smile not even faltering. “Nothing, it’s just that, I find you interesting. It was nice meeting you, Jinri.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the shirt nyel is talking about is the marymond shirt, the one he wore when they were recording open up, i think?  
> i love chungha so here's a cameo, maybe more in the future? not really sure  
> tell me what you think of this chapter, it's a little longer i think? since the previous one is hella short


	7. Love is just for all those who are the same

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *title reference to hyukoh's wiing wiing  
> SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED IDEK ANYMORE   
> WANNAONE DEBUT D-6  
> THE THE THE IS LIT !!!!!!!!

“Why the hell are you here?” Jinri grimaced as she stood by the door, holding onto the handle of her luggage tightly. Upon entering their apartment, Jaehwan was the one who welcomed her, eating sliced kimbap.

The winter vacation flew by in an instant, one moment Jinri’s on the train to Wonju, now she found herself back in Seoul. She spent her vacation pretty much lazing around the house, watching a bunch of dramas and movies she missed due to her busy schedule last semester. The one month vacation isn’t enough to recharge both her mind and body, but it was a big help to prepare her for the hectic semester ahead of her.

“Hyung called me since he’s making kimbap for you.” Jaehwan grinned as he walked towards Jinri, feeding her a slice afterwards. Looking at her from head to toe, Jaehwan noticed that not much has changed. Jinri just had her long hair chopped off, her hair only reaching her shoulders and a see-through fringe covering a few parts of her forehead. “You cut your hair, huh? Looks better. At least you look decent now.”

Jinri rolled her eyes before kicking Jaehwan on the sheen. “Gee, thanks man.” Playfully shoving the whining Jaehwan aside, she made her way to her room first to settle her luggage. She can hear Jaehwan’s footsteps getting near, and before he could even reach her room, she shouted, “No eating in the room! You’re not even new here, you should know that Jae!”

“Gosh, chill man. Are you on your period?”

“Yes I am!” Jinri let out a frustrated sigh as she placed her backpack on her desk. She’s feeling a little annoyed because her monthly visitor decided to come while she was still on the train. Travelling during that time can make one really sensitive, and Jinri’s one of those who feel like everything’s going to explode during that time of the month. “Where’s oppa?”

“He went out to buy groceries for dinner.”

Jinri stood up from her bed and made her way out of her room. Jaehwan was in the kitchen, washing the dishes he used while singing a random song. Their apartment is almost like a second home to both Minhyun and Jaehwan, so having them over and doing chores like these isn’t even new anymore.

“Where’s the kimbap?”

“On the table, Jisung hyung made yours special.”

“I know that, he loves me that much.” Jinri smiled heartily as she removed the lid from the plate.

“Ew.”

“Just eat, Mario.” Calling Jaehwan by his Christian name, Jinri made her way towards him, holding three slices of kimbap in her hand. After eating a slice, Jinri stuffed two slices of kimbap on Jaehwan’s mouth to shut him up. “I’m not really in the mood to bicker with you. If you need me, I’m on the couch, waiting for death.”

“Go ahead, drama queen.” Jaehwan said with a slight chuckle.

“OH MY GOSH MARIO ARE YOU TALKING TO YOURSELF.” Jinri rolled her eyes as she made her way towards the couch, curling into a ball. Her mood’s totally ruined due to unknown reasons (probably due to her hormones but she’s too annoyed to even think about it), and all she wants to do is to sleep, even after sleeping in the train for hours.

“Do you want to hear the story of how I spent my winter vacation?” Jaehwan hummed, drying his hands with a towel right after finishing with the dishes. He made his way towards the couch and sat beside Jinri who’s covering her face with a pillow.

“Shut up.”

“I joined a band, dude. Aren’t you even happy for me?” He continuously poked Jinri’s shoulder, only earning a grunt from the latter. “I’ll take that as a yes. So I did join a band, and we’re going to play tonight. Come watch me, I need my number one fan present to lead the group of fangirls screaming my name.”

“They’re probably screaming at you to leave the stage, so okay, I’ll be there to lead the protest.” Jinri removed the pillow covering her face and placed it under her head. “When’s Minhyun arriving? He’s still in Busan, right?”

Jaehwan let out a fake and dramatic gasp. “I’m the one who’s here yet you’re looking for other people? You really like to hurt me, Jinri!”

“I’m not hurting you. Hurting you goes like this,” Jinri kicked Jaehwan’s thigh lightly, just like a little nudge, but since Jaehwan is a drama queen, the reaction was quite big. It was as if he was hit with a boulder. “Stop overreacting! You know I like Minhyun better.”

“Wow, you are so heartless!” Jaehwan took a pillow and continuously hit Jinri with it, the girl just laying on the couch not even minding if she’s hit. “Just come, Jisung hyung’s coming as well so you might as well come. You won’t regret it, you get to see me sing amazing songs, and you’ll fall more in lo—”

“Just shut up for a minute, seriously. Let me rest!” Out of irritation, Jinri started kicking Jaehwan on the thigh. Poor Jaehwan has to be the receiving end of all the frustration a girl on her period has.

The two were silent for a few minutes, Jinri successfully getting a few minutes of the peace she requested ever since she arrived. Still curled up into a ball, she closed her eyes and tried to clear her thoughts, totally ignoring the pain the dysmenorrhea brought. Jaehwan on the other hand was too busy playing games on his phone, gently tapping on Jinri’s feet which were resting on his lap. An hour went on like that before the door opened, Jisung coming in with a bag of groceries.

“Jaehwan, is Jinri here alrea—”

“Sshh! She’s sleeping, and is on her period!” Jaehwan tried to whisper a little louder so the hyung by the door, who’s busy taking off his shoes, could hear.

Jisung nodded, heading towards the table to sort out his groceries. “Good thing I bought ice cream, maybe she’ll feel better after eating it.” After taking out most of the items from the bag, Jisung prepared a hot compress and took a bunch of pills from the medicine cabinet which Jinri takes during the time of the month.

“Jin, wake up,” Jisung kneeled in front of the couch, tapping Jinri gently on the shoulder. He placed the glass of water and bottle of pills on the small coffee table across the couch. “Take your medicine first and I’ll bring you to your room.”

Half asleep, Jinri sat up and took the medicine. She didn’t quite remember what happened after because she was too sleepy.

 

 

_“Jin, wake up.”_

“Mm..?”

_“Jin, wake up. Dinner’s ready.”_

Jinri slowly opened her eyes, rubbing it roughly while yawning. The first thing she saw was Minhyun’s face, and the boy was smiling at her. The boy got a little chubbier after their break; his mom probably made a lot of good food to make up for the stress he got last semester.

“Jisung hyung told me to wake you up because dinner’s ready. After dinner we’re going to the pub where Jaehwan’s band is going to perform.”

Jinri nodded, still half asleep as she got up from her bed. After fixing her hair, she went out of the room, heading straight to where Jisung is to give him a tight hug. Smiling, her brother patted her head back gently while mumbling the words, _‘are you feeling better now?’,_ to which Jinri nodded in response. They all sat on the dining table and began to eat. Not really feeling like eating, Jinri focused only on the kimchi stew.

“You should celebrate, Jinri. The guys next door already moved out.” Jisung said, giving her a bowl of rice. She shook her head and gently pushed the bowl of rice towards Jaehwan, who happily accepted it. “The landlord said new people would be moving in tomorrow.”

“I hope they aren’t as noisy as the previous ones.” After finishing her bowl of soup quickly, she stood up and walked towards the refrigerator to get some ice cream. She went back to her seat and started eating the ice cream, waiting for the others to finish.

“You’re really scary when you’re on your period, Jin.” Minhyun said before eating a peace of grilled meat. “You’re too silent, it’s weird.”

“What do you mean weird? She’s deadly.” Jaehwan said, pointing at Jinri with her chopsticks. “She kicked me until I felt like dying this afternoon.”

“It’s because you won’t shut up when I was trying to sleep.” Jinri scrunched her nose as she poked her spoon continuously on the frozen ice cream.

“Alright, stop bickering. Enough for tonight, you know how sensitive Jinri is.” Jisung said, pointing his chopsticks both at Jinri and Jaehwan who wouldn’t stop bickering.

Knowing that her mood wouldn’t get any better, Jinri was silent throughout dinner. Minhyun went on and on about his trip to this certain place Jinri couldn’t quite remember, and how Jaehwan spent his winter vacation with his new band. He earned a few bucks from their different gigs which went on week after week, and that when the two were gone, they spent most of their times jamming. Jaehwan didn’t directly say it, but he was happy to have the three watch his gig. Jisung never went to their performances because he promised the younger boy that he would go once Jinri’s back.

Jaehwan looked really excited as soon as they arrived at the pub. It was one of the new pubs around their university, ‘Nostalgia’, and it is slowly becoming one of the hottest hang-out places among students. The placed was unique; dim orange lights brighten up the place, the wall was filled with antique records and pictures that will surely remind you of old times, a seats on the platform by the corner used old tires as the base for the table, and old cassette tape cases were glued together to make a tissue holder. The pub was definitely a feast for the eyes, and Jinri was sure that this wouldn’t be the only time she’ll visit the place.

He bid farewell to the three after securing a good spot right in front of the stage. Meanwhile, the three ordered a few snacks; Jisung ordered a bottle of beer while Jinri ordered a tall glass of iced coffee. Minhyun order strawberry milkshake since he didn’t feel like drinking alcohol at the moment.

“This place is actually nice,” Minhyun said, sipping on his strawberry milkshake as he looked around the place.

Jinri nodded slowly, tapping her fingers on the glass table as she moved her head to the music. The live performance hasn’t started yet, and the pub’s playlist was similar to hers. Most of the songs they played were from _Zion T._ and the band _hyukoh,_ and songs of those two made up her playlist. It kind of helped cheer her up a little, and she can feel her mood getting better.

When she looked up, she saw Jisung taking a sip of his beer. “Oppa, don’t drink too much. You’re driving.” Jisung nodded, placing his bottle on the table after a few sips.

“Do you know who’s in the band?” Minhyun asked, looking at Jinri.

She shook her head. “You know how Jaehwan and I were like a while ago. I didn’t have the chance to ask who they were.”

Minhyun nodded slowly before offering her drink to Jinri. The latter shook her head and remained silent as she scrolled through her phone. Minhyun let out a sigh and ruffled her hair. “Cheer up, it’s weird seeing you like this.”

“I know, I feel weird.” Jinri let out a sigh before running a hand through her hair. “I’m too sensitive, it’s irritating.”

“That’s normal, you’re a girl.”

“How sexist of you, Hwang Minhyun.”

“No, what I meant is that it’s normal to be sensitive during this time of the month, because the uteru—”

“Stop,” Jinri waved her hand in the air, stopping Minhyun from talking any further about the menstrual cycle. “You learned too much from biology.”

Minhyun shrugged innocently. “Just stating a fact because it’s not an unusual phenomenon, the menstrual cycle is a bl—”

“Stop talking about my period Mi—”

“I’m talking about the menstrual cycle in general, not just yours so it—”

“Oh my gosh, stop calling it ‘the menstrual cycle’!” Jinri covered her face with both of her hands. “You’re embarrassing!”

“I’m not trying to emba—”

“OKAY everyone needs to chill and stop talking about period.” Jisung warned the two who were about to start arguing again. “Gosh, I’m not even married yet but I feel like I’m taking my kids out. Chill, kids. Chill.”

Like kids who just got scolded, the two remained silent, awkwardly drinking their own drinks. A few minutes later, the members of the band started entering the stage one by one. Jaehwan was the first one up, followed by a man with long blonde hair tied into a loose ponytail who immediately headed towards where the bass guitar is and a boy who looked like Ponyo, who probably is one of the guitarists. The three were talking and looking around the place, probably looking for their missing drummer.

“Oh? Dongho and Jonghyun are here.” Minhyun’s voice distracted Jinri, making her look at the direction the boy was looking at. She can see both Dongho and Jonghyun walking towards where they are, probably heading towards the vacant table beside theirs.

Jinri held her breath, preparing herself to face Seongwoo because whenever Dongho and Jonghyun are around, Seongwoo’s probably just around the corner. _Oh shit, shit shit,_ she thought as she nervously tapped her foot on the ground. She waited, and waited for hell to come, but it never did. Seongwoo wasn’t around, and because of this, Jinri was able to loosen up a little.

As soon as the two sat on the table beside theirs, Dongho looked at her, smiled and bowed. “It’s nice to see you here, Jinri.”

Jinri nodded, bowing politely at Dongho as well. She didn’t know what to say so she just stared at the table.

“Your hair looks nice, it suits you.”

“Thanks, Dongho.” Jinri didn’t know what else to say. She wasn’t exactly sure whether she’s in a friendly relationship with Dongho or not so her snarky remarks aren’t really fit for the situation. If they were close, she would’ve told him to just shut up since she wasn’t in a good mood.

“You’re here to watch their gig too?”

Jinri thought Dongho was done talking to her so his question kind of caught her off guard. She looked back at Dongho and nodded. “Yes, Jaehwan’s singing so I’m here to support him.”

“Oh?” Dongho raised a brow, nodding slightly. “I see. That’s nice.” He smiled before tapping Jonghyun’s shoulder. “Jonghyun, Jinri’s here.”

Jonghyun looked at her and gave her a polite bow, doing the same to Minhyun as well.

_“Uhm, mic check.”_ Jaehwan’s voice caught everyone’s attention. _“Good evening everyone, I’m Jaehwan and we’re about to start the show in a few minutes.”_

The people inside the pub are slowly starting come in, and almost all of the tables were occupied. It was a good thing that Jinri, Minhyun and Jisung came earlier, or else they would be one of those standing by the bar. What caught her attention the most were the girls were standing by the bar, holding cards with Jaehwan’s name on it. Jinri was a little amazed at the number of people wanting to watch the actual show; she had no idea that in a span of one month, her friend became a superstar. Well, probably not a superstar yet, but a vocalist of a local band which is starting to gain recognition. She has to admit that she is proud that her friend is actually trying to make his dream come true one step at a time.

Jinri looked at the members of the band, trying to distinguish whether she knew those people or not. The blonde guy was certainly a face she hasn’t seen before, but the guy who looked like Ponyo was familiar. The drummer is still nowhere to be seen.

_“Let me start by introducing the members of our band. I’m Jaehwan, and this is Ren,”_ he gestured at the blonde guy fixing his bass guitar strap. The guy named Ren bowed politely at the audience. _“This guy over here is Sewoon, our Ponyo.”_ The guy named Sewoon shook his head in amusement as he plugged his guitar to the amplifier, bowing at the audience afterwards. _“Uhm, our drummer is running a little late, but I think he’s almost the— he’s here! Hurry up, don’t make the people wait!”_

Jinri looked at where Jaehwan is looking at, and there, she saw Ong Seongwoo placing his bag on the seat beside Jonghyun’s. Holding his drumsticks tightly with one hand, he quickly made his way towards the stage.

“The drummer’s here.” Dongho said, glancing at her as he smiled slightly. Jinri knew Dongho was talking to her, but she chose to just ignore it.

Minhyun gave her a meaning look, but just chose to not say anything.

She shut her eyes close before placing a hand on her forehead. Is this some sort of coincidence or Jaehwan’s really just trying to mess with her? She’s not so sure herself, so she decided to just let it go and just attack Jaehwan after their performance ends.

_“To everyone who came to watch the show, I’d like to say thank you in behalf of our band. Seeing everyone here really makes us happy.”_

Jinri looked at Seongwoo who was busy fixing his seat and the drums. She didn’t care anymore. She knows she’s doomed so she might just stare at Seongwoo the whole time.

_“Winter vacation’s almost over, and one hell of a semester is ahead of us. To those who’s currently celebrating, yes, celebrating the end of our happy days, cheer up. Who knows, maybe something good’s ahead of you? The past may be a little shitty, but all we need to do is look forward and learn from all the shit universe is sending our way.”_

“I didn’t know Jaehwan can speak words that aren’t nonsense.” Minhyun whispered to Jinri, making her smile a little as she shook her head in amusement. “Oh ho, I made you laugh.” The boy grinned as he clapped.

_“And to those high school students who were able to get in, don’t bother to come during school nights again because I’ll be the first one to send you off. We have a gig next Saturday, right, manager-nim? Just come on that day so your parents won’t scold you for not attending your night classes.”_

“I’m seriously cringing at Jaehwan right now.” Jinri scrunched her nose, rubbing her arms gently.

“You have to admit though, the guy knows how to talk to the crowd.” Jisung said, his eyes still on the stage.

_“To start off this night, we’ll go with something chill. Here’s Wiing Wiing by Hyukoh.”_

The pub was then filled by the sound of the guitar, slowly building up with a little of the drums. Jaehwan looked at her, smiled and winked at her before he started singing. It was his way of apologizing after making fun of her this afternoon, and Jinri acknowledged it.

Ong Seongwoo behind the drums looked different. It was as if he was a whole other person. Biting his lower lip as he hit the drums, Seongwoo looked like a character ripped off from a manhwa. To Jinri’s eyes, he looked surreal. Heck, he even looked more beautiful as he bobbed his head to the rhythm. She was sure that she knows how pretty this man can get, but she still felt attacked. Ong Seongwoo wasn’t only beautiful, he was oozing with charisma.  

Even though the band was playing her ultimate favorite song, she wasn’t able to enjoy or focus at all. All that she can see was Seongwoo, and the rest was a blur. During the continuous performance, she only looked at him. The way she looked at him seemed like she was taking a mental image of that exact same scene, and bury it somewhere at the back of her head. Ong Seongwoo the drummer just made her heart beat like crazy, partially fulfilling the fantasy she had in high school of being with a boy who is part of a band.

_He’s not real.._ she thought to herself as she looked at him. Ong Seongwoo had everything: the looks, the brain, the talent, everything. It was unfair. How can someone be this perfect?

All of a sudden, their eyes met. The moment his gaze was on her, it seemed like Jinri’s heart stopped. Seongwoo was looking at her, she was sure of it, and this time, he was smiling. He was actually smiling as he looked at her. The smile and excitement on Seongwoo’s face didn’t falter as he looked at Jinri.

Jinri was the first one to break the gaze. It has already become a habit for her to look away whenever Seongwoo looks at her. No matter how often she says that she doesn’t care anymore, deep inside, she knows that she still does.

She felt her cheeks get hotter and she knew that her face might have turned red. In a failed attempt to hide it, she covered half of her face with her hand as she looked away, clearing her throat to hide the embarrassment. It was a good thing that Jisung and Minhyun were actually absorbed in the performance or else she would’ve been in an awkward position. Jisung didn’t know about her little crush on the band’s drummer, while Minhyun would probably tell Jaehwan all about this incident right after the show ended. It seemed like everything was on her side even for once.

Or so she thought.

The sound of her clearing her throat caught Dongho’s attention. Seeing her current state, he already knew what’s up. Instead of teasing Jinri about it, he just laughed softly to his self while shaking his head in amusement.

Jinri was able to hear Dongho though, and she knew how playful Dongho could get after spending a semester giving out paper and pens to him. “Stop it, Dongho.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“What?” Dongho answered, trying to feign innocence. “I didn’t even say anything.”

She can now understand the reason why Dongho and Jaehwan just clicked. “Just stop, Dongho.” The boy just nodded, still laughing slightly as he crossed his arms. Jinri let out a frustrated sigh before glaring at the boy. “I’m going to hurt you if you don’t stop laughing, Kang Dongho.”

“Now there’s the Jinri Jaehwan kept on talking about.” Dongho said with a bright smile, tapping her shoulder gently.

“Don’t listen to what he says.”

“If I didn’t know that you like Seongwoo, I would’ve thought that Jaehwan’s your boyfriend or something.”

“Ew.” The automatic response to the concept of the Jaehwan being her boyfriend prevented her from reacting to the previous part of the statement.

“That!” Dongho laughed even harder, pointing at Jinri as if he found something valuable. “That is the exact reaction I got from Jaehwan when I told him that. You guys are so in sync, it’s funny!”

“That is why people are friends, Dongho. It’s because they click.” She said in a matter-of-factly tone as she side-eyed Dongho. “Wait, do you guys hang out often for me to be the topic of conversations?”

“Yes, we did hang out most of the time during the break. Ever since he became a part of the band, we always see each other. Seongwoo and Ren are both my friends, so,” Dongho took the bottle of beer and opened it using a spoon. He looked at Jinri and offered her some, but she just refused. “Talking to you is fun, do you know that?”

“I didn’t know the break turned me into some kind of clown or something.”

“I meant to say that your reactions and comebacks are fun. They’re unexpected.”

“Whatever you say.”  Before she gets any more sensitive than she already is, she decided to just stop talking to Dongho. Her hormones are getting in the way of normal social interactions, so she decided to just stop before she does something she would regret.

Deciding to take her attention back on the stage, she felt Seongwoo’s gaze on her again. Her heart, choosing not to cooperate, was starting to beat like crazy once again. She cannot deny the fact that she does feel butterflies in her stomach. However, she wasn’t used to it. Why was he looking at her again? Was there something on her face? Does she look funny? It was making her anxious. Minutes passed and nothing has changed. Seongwoo’s still looking at her. She tried to avoid his gaze at all costs, but it was still the same. It was making her nervous. Even Dongho noticed it, for he glanced at Jinri who looked uncomfortable on her seat before looking at Seongwoo once again. Before it gets worse, she decided to just get out of the pub for a while and calm her overthinking brain.

_“And that’s it for our first set, we’ll be back after a short break. You can send in song requests and we’ll try to play them for you. Thank you very much.”_

Jinri let out a sigh, grabbing her phone as she stood up.

“Where are you going?” Jisung poked her arm, blinking.

“I’m going out for a while.” She took her wallet from her bag and placed it inside her coat’s pocket.

“Alright, be back in ten minutes. You know how Jaehwan gets when he’s sulky.” Jisung gave her a small smile, patting her gently on the back. Jinri nodded, telling Minhyun that he’ll be back in a while.

As she made it through the crowd, she kept on thinking of possible reasons why Seongwoo was staring at her like that. There must be a reason, and it is starting to drive her crazy. It also kind of annoyed her that these days, most conversations she’s had with people revolved around Seongwoo. Yes, she does like him but he isn’t the center of her world. She has a lot more to think about, things that are more important than her feelings for Seongwoo— her thesis, her internship, the movie they’re going to produce this semester and the scripts she’s going to write.

She let out a sigh as soon as she was outside. It was still cold, and the snow was getting thicker. It’s almost the start of the semester so she couldn’t get sick. She wasn’t allowed to get sick. Getting sick meant getting things done slower and it would just bring in more stress.

Her train of thoughts was disrupted when a dark-haired girl accidentally bumped into her. She looked like a doll— her big doe eyes and pointed nose seemed to fit in perfectly on her small and pale face. The girl bowed at her, mumbling a soft ‘sorry’ before leaving.

Jinri just decided to shrug it off and head straight to the convenience store. She was getting cold anyways. She bought a pack of her favorite yogurt drink before heading towards the table by the window. As she took a sip of the yogurt, Jinri started to meditate. This could actually be a good time for her to look back on what she has been doing that day. It was only now that she realized that she had been attacking people for no apparent reason today, especially her two good friends. She felt both sorry and thankful that the two were actually enduring her extreme mood swings and were trying to cheer her up.

Poking the straw on the third bottle of yogurt, she looked up to look at the sidewalk. Watching people is one of the things she liked to do when she’s alone; it entertains her to see different people doing their own thing as they pass by. It gives her an idea for the scripts she was going to write in the future. She felt peaceful, and her mind was slowly resting from all the anxiety she felt inside the pub.

Just when she thought that the peace she wanted so bad would last, Seongwoo appeared right in front of her. Jinri almost choked on her drink, coughing softly as she pounded on her chest with her fist. However, he wasn’t alone. The girl she bumped into was with him, holding onto his arm tightly. It’s probably Ki Heehyun, Ong Seongwoo’s rumored girlfriend.

Jinri tried her best not to stare, but she failed to do so. Seongwoo and Heehyun looked good together, and anyone with a properly functioning pair of eyes would agree.

All her life, she had never felt so small. Even during those art classes where she submitted her most ‘decent work of art’, she didn’t feel ashamed. Her stick drawings were the best. When she made kimchi for the first time and it turned out to be really salty, she didn’t really care. Getting scolded in a room filled with students felt like nothing next to this very moment.

Seeing how perfectly the two looked next to each other as they talked, Jinri felt like she wanted the ground to eat her alive. Seongwoo’s way out of her league, and a pretty, skinny and doll-like girl like Heehyun is totally the type of girl he would date. Of course, he wouldn’t waste his time on a girl like Jinri, someone who you wouldn’t look at twice when you meet her in the streets, an ordinary-looking face with no charms, and a body nowhere like Heehyun’s. She was everything Heehyun isn’t.

Too busy with her thoughts, she wasn’t able to look away when Seongwoo noticed her. She blinked before turning her back, going through the shelves for something unnecessary to buy.

“Wow, my hormones are really extreme today.” Jinri let out a bitter chuckle as she ran a hand through her hair out of frustration. After picking out the flavor of peppero she felt like buying, she went to the counter and paid for it before exiting the store.

_“Jinri.”_

Jinri looked up, only to be met by Seongwoo. He was looking at her with an expression she cannot distinguish, and Heehyun was nowhere to be found.

“You’re Yoon Jinri, right?” He asked politely.

Jinri nodded slowly, feeling a little dazed and confused at the moment. Why would Seongwoo talk to her voluntarily, without the persistence of her noisy friend? What could he possibly want to talk to her about? If it was about her ‘eavesdropping’ on him and Heehyun, then she does feel guilty.

“Yes, what about me?” It could’ve been a miracle that she was able to answer his question properly without stuttering or making a fool out of herself.

“I’m Ong Seongwoo.” He offered his hand for a handshake, which Jinri took awkwardly. “I heard you were the one who paid for my work last semester.”

Jinri raised a brow. “Yes..? What about that?”

“I’d just like to thank you for doing so, you kind of saved me back there.” He said, rubbing his nape shyly.

“It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Also, I’d like to pay you back.” Ong Seongwoo immediately took out his wallet from his pocket.

Feeling a little flustered and embarrassed, Jinri quickly shook her head. “No, no. No need. Don’t pay me, it’s okay really.”

“I won’t be at peace knowing that I owe someone something.” He said with a smile, however, the smile didn’t feel real to her. It made Jinri feel a little uneasy.

“No, really. Don’t pay for it, it’s okay.”

“Please?” Seongwoo took her hand and placed the bills in it. “I’d be really happy if you took it.”

“I really don—”

“Thank you.” Seongwoo smiled and bowed at her before leaving.

She stayed there for a few minutes, staring at the money in her hands.

That night, she cried herself to sleep. Whether it’s because of Seongwoo or the extreme emotional roller coaster brought by her period, she didn’t know. She was too upset to even care.

She felt sad and heartbroken, it was already an enough explanation.


	8. where’s the comfort in your comfort zone?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Jaehwan decided to join the band, Jinri didn't know that 'joining the band' meant eating lunch with Seongwu and his friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol so i'm actually alive and i didn't decide to abandon this story, been just a little busy playing smtown superstar and a massive writer's block soooo (een working on this chapter for almost a month and i'm glad i actually finished it lol)  
> will be using Seongwu instead of Seongwoo from now on since I heard that's how Ong likes to spell his name in english (i'm not sure tho, just saw this on twitter)  
> also, i read the comments every now and then i just don't know how to respond (i'm awkward like that lol)
> 
> *Chosun & Dong A are two newspapers from Seoul lol

 

 

“I am so tired.” Minhyun covered his face with his hands, frustrated and annoyed at the same time. Jaehwan, who’s staring at the sheet of paper which contained Minhyun’s schedule, laughed. “I’m like, really doomed. As in really.”

“Your schedule is shit, man.” Jaehwan placed an arm on Minhyun’s shoulder. He gave the sheet of paper back to Minhyun, patting him gently on the back afterwards.

“Look who’s talking.” Jinri rolled her eyes, nudging Jaehwan on the sides. “You’ve got 9AM classes, Jae. You’re still dead meat.”

“Yes, but it’s better than 7AM.” Jaehwan said with a grin, earning a kick on the sheen from Minhyun. His rejoice was like salt to Minhyun’s wound.

So far, nothing unexpected has happened yet. Their first day for this semester has been smooth so far, well maybe not for Minhyun.

Despite coming early to school two days ago, Minhyun wasn’t able to secure a perfect schedule. He was able to get almost his entire desired subject schedule except the one for his thesis, and it just had to be that seven a.m class. It wasn’t actually a problem for him entirely since he likes to get his work done early. However, he’s the type of person to sleep in so waking up at six in the morning every Monday and Wednesday would be a problem. Looks like Minhyun would be going to school half-awake on these days. Starting the school year with dark bags under the eyes doesn’t seem appealing.

It seems like the odds were in their favor this semester. Jaehwan and Jinri were able to get their desired schedule, and none requires them to go to school before eight in the morning. They had most classes together, except one elective. Jinri had to take it alone since Jaehwan took it the previous semester so it wouldn’t get in the way of his soccer practice this semester.

“What are we having for lunch?” Jinri hummed, holding onto the strap of her bag. She looked at Jaehwan, who’s still busy laughing at Minhyun for looking like a zombie on the first day of school. “Stop making fun of Minhyun, he looks tired.”

“Yeah, I am tired and I need some hot chocolate right now.” Minhyun scrunched his nose as he wore his hoodie. If it was possible for him to walk with his eyes closed, he would’ve done so already.

“Let’s just eat at the cafeteria. I’m too lazy to go out of the uni since it’s cold.” Jaehwan said while fixing his coat and his guitar strap. “Besides, I’m meeting Sewoon there as well, he said he was going to give me a copy of the song he’s writing.”

Jinri nodded slowly. “How would you even fit all that in your schedule? You’ve got your soccer practice, thesis, and our consecutive productions this semester.”

Jaehwan shrugged nonchalantly. “The guys agreed that we’re going to take it slow this semester. At most we’re going to have two gigs a month, and on weekends so it won’t be much of a hassle. Right now, we’re just jamming.”

“Sewoon’s the guy who looks like Ponyo, right?” Minhyun asked, pushing the door of the cafeteria open.

“Yep, he is.” Jaehwan nodded and looked around the cafeteria. “You guys go ahead, I’ll look for Sewoon and a vacant table.”

Jinri and Minhyun nodded and went to get their selves some food. Minhyun went on and on about how he’s having a hard time choosing a specific company for his internship during the summer. Being the EIC of their school newspaper definitely has its perks, and Minhyun has continuously been receiving offers from different newspaper outfits within Seoul. All that Minhyun had to do was choose.

“They’re all good.” Minhyun pointed out as he placed some kimchi on his tray. “But I’m not really sure which one to choose. Chosun and Dong A* both sent me emails though, but I’m still weighing the cons.”

“It’s actually good that you have a choice. Just choose the one less shitty than the other.” With that phrase, Minhyun chuckled softly. “What? I’m just being honest here. Every company has their own shits. Just choose the one who has the least of them all, or good at hiding them at least.”

Minhyun nodded slowly, placing some kimchi on Jinri’s tray as well. “I have the whole semester to think about it, why am I worrying about it now?”

“I should be asking you that question.” Jinri shook her head in amusement. “I mean, the only problem you have is choosing. I don’t even know where to start.” Jinri let out a slight laugh, holding her tray and gesturing for Minhyun to give her some egg rolls as well. “I don’t even have internship offers at the moment, and my thesis is still a little shaky. I think the next semesters would be hell for me.”

“You’ll get through it, and if you need any help, I—”

“You already have a lot on your plate, Mi—”

Minhyun placed the tongs on his tray and flicked Jinri on the forehead. “You didn’t let me finish, you dumbass. What I meant is that if there’s anything that I can do like print your thesis or something, nothing big. My mom just bought me a new printer so I can print your work for free.”

“Really?” Jinri’s eyes brightened up at the thought of being able to save some of her money designated for print outs.

“Yep, just give me one ream of paper and we’re done.” Minhyun nodded with a grin. “Wait, should I get one for Jaehwan?”

“He’s a big boy, he can get his own food.” And with this, Jinri meant that she’s not going to take another round of complaints from Jaehwan for actually trying to be nice. One time, she volunteered to get food for Jaehwan as he looked for a vacant seat, and only got complaints for not getting the right amount of food in return. Jinri scanned her tray of food once again before looking at Minhyun. “Now where is he?”

Minhyun took a quick scan of the cafeteria before looking back at Jinri. “I don’t know. Let’s g— oh.” Minhyun was interrupted by the figure of Jaehwan waving at him from across the cafeteria. “There he is. Let’s go.”

Jinri nodded, following Minhyun as he headed towards where Jaehwan is. As the two got closer, Jinri was able to recognize the people with Jaehwan at the moment, and she thought she should’ve known better.

When Jaehwan said he was going to look for Sewoon, Jinri didn’t know that Sewoon meant _Sewoon with the other band guys—_ including Seongwu.

Having Jaehwan join a band with Seongwu meant that she would be seeing him a lot more than she used to. Jaehwan is the kind of person who liked introducing his set of friends to each other (that’s how Minhyun and Jinri met), thus, the possibility of actually hanging out with Seongwu’s set of friends is almost at ninety percent. This kind of thought already came to Jinri’s mind, but she didn’t know that it would be this soon. She was too busy thinking about escaping these kinds of situations, but at the moment, she hasn’t come up with at least one that would be helpful, especially now when Dongho already saw her and is gesturing for her to join them. They can choose not to sit with the group, but it would be rude for them to plainly ignore Dongho’s extremely eye-catching invitation (he stood up from his seat and waved at Jinri).

“Jinri, Minhyun!” Dongho said with a smile, tapping his hand on the table. “Join us, the guys are talking about their band things.”

“Band things.” The guy beside Dongho, Ren, said with an amused smile as he shook his head. His long blonde hair was now replaced with short dark brown locks.

“Guys, meet Jinri and Minhyun.” Dongho said enthusiastically as he introduced the people around the table one by one. Jinri already knew Jonghyun, they had one class together three semesters ago. Ren’s name was actually Minki, and he just likes to use his nickname for their gigs. Sewoon’s the ponyo guy, and then there’s Seongwu.

“Hey, Ong.” Dongho patted Seongwu’s shoulder to catch his attention. He was too busy playing a game in his phone a while ago and told them to talk to him when he’s done since the level’s almost finished anyways.

“Alright.” Seongwu said with a smile, placing his phone on the table. Clasping his hands together as he looked at Dongho with expectant eyes, he smiled. “What do you have for me, big guy?”

“I was introducing Jinri to the other guys. It’s your turn now.”

“Jinri?” He raised a brow and turned his head to look at where Jinri and Minhyun were standing. “Oh, hi. It’s nice to see you again.”

Jinri nodded slowly, bowing slightly at everyone before taking the seat across Seongwu. After greeting the people around the table, Minhyun took the seat beside Jonghyun, leaving the seat across Seongwu for Jinri. Beside Jonghyun is Sewoon, who’s busy teaching Jaehwan the chords of the song he wrote. Since it’s the only vacant seat within the table, Jinri had no choice but to sit across Seongwu.  Whether Minhyun did it on purpose or not, she wasn’t actually sure.

“Again?” Dongho raised a brow, shifting his gaze from Jinri who’s busy eating her meal then back at Seongwu who’s ignoring his food as he scrolled through his phone.

“Mm.” Seongwu said nonchalantly, nodding slowly. “I met her a few days ago, during the gig.” He ate a spoonful of rice before stuffing his mouth with the egg rolls. “I told you before, she paid for my research paper. You know how I don’t like it when I owe people something.” He then looked at Jinri as he chewed, and she tried her best not to meet his gaze since she doesn’t know how to react to it. It still bothers her that Seongwu actually made the effort to look for her and pay her back for what she did last semester since she did it without expecting something like this in return.

Dongho’s lips formed a small o-shape as he nodded slowly.

The twenty minutes that it took for Jinri to finish her meal was the longest twenty minutes of her life to date. On a normal day, it takes at least thirty minutes for Jinri to finish her food, but since she felt a little uncomfortable to eat with Seongwu and his friends, she just ate quietly. Minhyun would check on her if she was okay from time to time since a silent Jinri only occurs during the time of the month (and Minhyun knows that _that_ time was a few days ago), and she would just say a half-hearted yes.

Throughout the whole meal, Dongho kept on asking her random questions like ‘how was your break’ and then diverting the attention back to Seongwu, as if he’s trying to get the two to talk directly to each other. Jinri was just awkward, and kept on answering short sentences, while Seongwu seemed like his usual self around his friends (which is something that Jinri saw for the first time this close).

Beyond Seongwu’s perfection-like exterior (brains+ good looks+ personality + member of a band + actually good at painting and anything art related), is a somehow humane version of Ong Seongwu. Right in front of her is Ong Seongwu, busy shifting from eating his lunch to beating the high score he set on the mobile game that kept him busy. From time to time he would let out little reactions, or make random comments about what the other guys were talking about. Once in a while he would blurt out puns (which the guys thought were lame at first, but end up laughing at it because it does make sense when they thought about it), and Jinri could see the small smile on his lips after hearing the guys laugh.

Even though Jinri felt uncomfortable, she has to admit that she does feel happy that she gets to see that side of Seongwu. Seeing him this close made him seem more human, instead of only being a picture of a perfect guy named Ong Seongwu inside her head.

“I’m getting drinks, does anyone of you feel like bossing me around and ask me to buy one?” Seongwu said, looking at each of the people around the table with a playful smile. “Anyone?” He looked at Jinri last, his smile changing from a mischievous one to his usual one as he raised his brows.

Jinri wasn’t looking, she was too ‘busy’ poking the leftover kimchi on her plate that she didn’t feel like eating. Minhyun had to nudge her and tell her that Seongwu’s waiting for her answer. Jinri looked up from her dish to Seongwu, and she felt her cheeks heat up. She quickly shook her head and mumbled a soft _“No thanks, I’m fine,”_ before looking away.

As soon as Seongwu left the table, Jinri heard Dongho let out a soft chuckle.

“Wow, your face is really red, Jinri.” Dongho said in a matter-of-factly tone, trying to stop his self from smiling.

Jinri let out a sigh before covering her face with her hands. _Great, now everyone knows,_ she thought to herself as she shut her eyes close for a few seconds. _Thanks a lot, Dongho._

“Did you plan this, Jaehwan?” Dongho turned to look at Jaehwan.

Jaehwan shrugged. “Not really, I was just looking for Sewoon. I didn’t know he’s with you guys. So if you’re plotting a million ways to kill me, you can postpone it first, Jin. Wait for an actual valid reason to kill me so I won’t hunt you down a few months after my death.”

Minhyun let out a soft chuckle, patting Jinri on the shoulder gently.

“She likes Seongwu?” Minki asked curiously, pointing at Jinri with his chopsticks. Dongho nodded. “Then what about Heehyun?”

For some weird reason, Jinri felt like she wasn’t supposed to be there for that kind of conversation.

“They broke up over the break.”

“Thought they got back together?” Jonghyun asked before popping a piece of chocolate in his mouth.

Dongho shook his head. “Naaah. They talked about getting back together but it seemed like Seongwu doesn’t want to anymore.”

“Didn’t Heehyun come during their last gig?”

“Yeah, she did say hi. Well, it seemed like it wasn’t going to work.”

All of them were silent after that. Only the sound of the people around them talking and Jaehwan playing the guitar can be heard. Seongwu’s arrival broke the silence among the group (since he announced that he’s back).

After finishing the kimchi she thought she didn’t feel like eating anymore, Jinri felt like it was time for her to leave. She’s already had her dose of awkwardness and anxiety enough for the rest of the week anyways (and also her weekly dose of seeing Seongwu in the university). “I’m going ahead first,” she announced, loud enough for all of the guys to hear. Everyone looked at her, including Seongwu who even took the time to pause his game. That made her feel a little uneasy and distracted her already rehearsed sentence. “Uhm.. I need to get some coffee before my next class, so I’m leaving first. It was nice meeting all of you.”

Taking her tray with her as she stood up, she bowed at the guys before wearing her bag strap. As if on cue, both Minhyun and Jaehwan stood up as well, following her after saying goodbye to the others.

It was probably the most uncomfortable thirty minutes of her life up to date, but Jinri had to admit that it did feel weirdly refreshing to step out of her comfort zone. And with comfort zone, she meant the space twenty five meters away from Ong Seongwu.

 

 

 

Being in a room filled with strangers both comforted and made Jinri feel anxious.

It was both lucky and unfortunate of her to be in a class filled with freshmen; lucky for some professors take it easy in consideration of the new kids trying to adjust in the university life, and unfortunate because freshmen are usually over excited about a lot of things and tend to do group activities with so much enthusiasm.

The good thing about being alone in a class filled with noisy freshmen was that she doesn’t feel the need to hold small talks with them. One of the things she doesn’t like is the awkward small talk with strangers (even though she is an awkward person); she would like it better if she talked to someone she clicked with even in such a short time than waste her time talking to someone about how the hands of her wrist watch move.

The only thing that makes her anxious was the thought of group activities: if you’re the only person who doesn’t belong to the block, then you’re most likely the one who ends up getting paired with the person the group doesn’t feel like doing the project with. It was still too early in the semester to think about stuff like that, but since Jinri has experienced something similar to that, she couldn’t help but consider doing all those things by herself instead.

Jinri took out her phone and kept herself busy with it in order to kill the time. Only a few minutes were left before the class starts. It was still the first day of the semester so there would only be introductions, syllabus discussions and the class will be over.

The noise started to die down as soon as the professor came inside the classroom. He was followed by a tall guy, trying to make his existence not so much of a scene-stealer by tiptoeing. His pink hair wasn’t of much help.

Jinri raised a brow as soon as she saw the guy with the pink hair and the bunny-like front teeth— Kang Daniel, the guy she met at the club a month ago. She didn’t expect to see him outside the club (since he’s a DJ meeting him in different clubs wouldn’t be a surprise anymore), specifically, in the same university and the same elective as hers.

Daniel scanned the room for an empty seat— the only ones left were on both sides of Jinri. No freshmen bothered to sit beside her because of her intimidating aura caused by her resting bitch face. When Daniel saw her, he looked surprised and happy at the same time. He quickly made his way towards the empty seat beside Jinri. “Is this seat taken?”

Jinri shook her head. “Naah. Go ahead.”

Daniel sat down with a smile, his two front teeth showing. “Hey, it’s nice to see you when you’re not drunk.” He said with a smile as he fixed his things on the desk.

Jinri let out a soft chuckle as she shook her head in amusement. “What a nice way to say hello.”

Daniel chuckled softly, nodding slowly as he patted Jinri’s shoulder gently. “Didn’t know we’ll meet again like this.”

“Back at you, Daniel. I didn’t even know you go to this school as well.”

“I’m from the music department, and our buildings are like, in the opposite parts of the campus so it makes sense.”

“My building?”

“Yeah?” Daniel tilted his head a little to the side as he looked at Jinri, looking a little confused. “Aren’t you from the college of arts?”

Jinri raised a brow, a little surprised and crept out. “How did you know that?”

“Since you’re friends with Chungha, I just assumed.” Daniel nodded slowly. “Am I wrong?”

Jinri nodded slowly, taking out her registration from her notebook. The professor was done with the introductions and was now taking the attendance to check whether there are extra students who weren’t supposed to be there.

Daniel stood up and brought his registration sheet as soon as his name got called, rubbing his elbow which he hit on the desk on the way to the small platform at the front.

“That hurts.” He scrunched his nose as soon as he sat back down on his seat.

Jinri didn’t know whether Daniel was talking to her or just talking to his self so she decided to just not say anything. Besides, they weren’t that close anyways.

Seeing Daniel inside the room gave Jinri the idea that maybe, she might not be doing activities alone. The two of them were the only upper classmen in the room, and the possibility of them working together for a project is a little high.

“Hey.”

She turned to look at Daniel after he poked her arm with his finger. “Mm?”

“Do you mind saving me this seat in the next days? My class before this one is PE and you know where the pool is, right? I don’t want to end up sitting on the floor or something.” Daniel scrunched his nose before looking at Jinri. “Please?”

Jinri blinked and nodded slowly. “Mm, alright. No big deal.”

“Thanks.” Daniel smiled as he wore his white cap. “You seem a lot nicer when you’re not drunk, you know?”

If Jaehwan or Minhyun were the ones who said that, they probably earned a punch from Jinri. But since it’s someone she only met once, she decided to just keep her calm and thought of a witty comeback. “And I must say that you’re still talkative even when I’m totally sober.”

Daniel let out a soft chuckle as she looked at Jinri in awe. “Woah, nice one you got there.” She expected him to somewhat get offended but he wasn’t offended at all. Instead, he took it in a good way, and it amused Jinri.

“Ong Seongwu?” That certain name caught Jinri’s attention. Their professor was calling Seongwu’s name, and that just means one thing: he’s taking the class as well.

Jinri didn’t know that this day can get more uncomfortable— from having to eat with Seongwu and his group of friends to actually having to spend one semester with him in the same class.

Trying her best not to look surprised and a little panicky, Jinri scanned the room to check whether Seongwu was there or not. If Seongwu doesn’t show up, it just means that he’s going to get dropped from the class (since it’s a university rule). Maybe he changed his mind and decided to take another class, or he just didn’t feel like coming to class today. Any of those reasons would actually be to Jinri’s favor.

If he does show up, he had no choice but to take the seat next to Jinri. She knows she isn’t ready to spend the whole semester sitting beside Seongwu (the professor told them that their seat at the moment would be their permanent arrangement for the whole semester).

“Last call for Ong Seongwu?” The professor looked around the room, checking whether Seongwu’s there or not. “Ong Seon—”

“Here!” Seongwu came inside the room in a rush, holding his registration sheet in one hand and a small towel with his other hand. He handed the sheet to their professor and waited for it as the professor signed.

Jinri let out a sigh before leaning her head on the desk. _Why does this keep on happening to me?_ She thought to herself as she closed her eyes. Was she a bad person in her past life for the universe to enjoy her misery like this? If it was some kind of joke, then the universe should stop pranking her this way because it isn’t funny anymore.

“Eh?” Daniel’s husky voice pulled her out from her train of thoughts. “It’s the Ong guy from my PE class before this one.”

Jinri closed her eyes once again and started hitting her forehead on the desk. _Thank you, universe._

“Hey, hey!” Daniel placed his hand in between Jinri’s forehead and the desk, his voice a mix of surprise and worry. “Why are you hitting your head on the desk? That must hurt.”

Jinri sat up and let out a sigh. “It would actually be better if the floor ate me alive.”

“Eh. If you die, no one’s going to save me a seat.”

“That’s actually comforting.” Jinri scrunched her nose before running her hand through her hair out of frustration. Daniel chuckles softly, poking Jinri on the arm repeatedly as he told her he was only joking.

“Is this seat taken?” Seongwu said as soon as he reached the empty seat beside Jinri. He was drying his hair with the towel as he waited for Jinri’s answer.

Both Jinri and Daniel looked at Seongwu. She blinked and shook her head. “N-no. Go ahead.”

Seongwu nodded slowly and sat down, his eyes never leaving Jinri. “Uhm. Are you okay?”

“Yes.” Jinri nodded slowly, her mind a total mess. Why is Seongwu still looking at her? Why is this happening to her? Her heart felt like it was going to combust out of her chest and her mind’s a total wreck, just like spongebob’s mind breaking down. “Uhm.. why?”

“Are you really sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, sure.” _Go on, say more nonsense._ “Uhm.. why?”

Seongwu pointed at her forehead. “Your forehead’s really red.”

_Thanks a lot, universe._


	9. look what you made me do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinri does things she never knew she would for the sake of Ong Seongwu.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T Swift's new song is so lit, i just had to make it this chapter's title  
> Also, since I'm from a tropical country, I'm not really sure whether swimming classes are feasible during the winter. I just realized that the story's setting takes place in late January, and late January in South Korea is still winter, I think. I should've checked.. but maybe for the sake of the story and the consistency, i'll make it feasible lol pls understand  
> Please let me know if it really is possible xo

Throughout her three years in the university, the only problem Jinri had everyday was waking up early and choosing the most comfortable shoes she can wear to school. Now that Ong Seongwu’s in her class, Jinri had to face a lot more than just that.

Just like any normal girl, Jinri wanted to look good every time Seongwu sees her. It’s common sense; no girl would want the person they like to see them in their worst state ever. Her prettiest shirts which hid behind her closet finally got a taste of sunlight; her worn out sneakers finally got a break from all the running around school, and she finally considered wearing her denim skirts to school instead of just stacking them behind her go-to pair of jeans (even though it’s freaking January, and winter).

Even though she had no intentions of making a move for Seongwu to actually notice her, she at least had to look decent every Tuesdays and Thursdays for her Media Studies class. She wants him to see her as an actual human being who doesn’t need a wardrobe makeover, instead of someone who looks like she just got out of bed and went straight to school.

Ever since Minhyun and Jaehwan found out about her sharing the same class as Seongwu, she has been receiving endless teasing from the two (especially from Jaehwan). She can clearly remember Jaehwan’s laugh echoing in her head before telling her that the universe is finally making a way for the two to finally interact with each other without the help of Jaehwan and Dongho.

 _“See, even the universe thinks that you should stop being a chicken and finally gather all your guts and talk to Seongwu.”_ Even Minhyun, who usually just nods or sides with no one in particular, believes that this kind of things don’t happen for no reason. At first he was just _‘naaaaaaah’_ and all just ‘whatever’ about it, Jaehwan was finally able to convert Minhyun to a believer of the messages the universe sends their way.

“Is that shirt new?” Jaehwan narrowed her eyes at Jinri as he studied her entire look. As soon as the two met this morning, Jaehwan knew something was different, he just couldn’t figure out what it is.

Jinri rolled her eyes as she covered Jaehwan’s eyes with her palm. “Stop analyzing me.” She already knew that endless teasing is coming her way as soon as she admitted that her shirt is new, plus, she’s actually wearing a little make up today (mascara and a little bit of tint on the lips and the cheeks).

Since Minhyun isn’t around to back her up (they just dropped him off to his class, the one after lunch), she’s been praying to whoever’s listening that Jaehwan won’t be able to figure out that she finally took her makeup bag out of her bottom drawer and use it on normal days (instead of using it on special occasions only).

“Something’s really different,” Jaehwan shoved her arm away and looked at Jinri from head to toe once again. “Except for the shoes since I saw them before, when you bought them but something is really different.” He held her chin and made her face him, forced her to face him even due to all the unspoken protests obvious on the Jinri’s face. He narrowed his eyes as he took a close look at his friend’s face. “Did you get your eyes done, Jin?”

“What the hell.” Jinri rolled her eyes before pushing Jaehwan away, earning a laugh from the guy who tried to regain his balance. “My mom would kill me if I get anything done, and I don’t have that kind of money.”

“I’ll figure it out, whatever’s different on your face.” Jaehwan poked Jinri’s cheek a little too hard, earning a whine from the girl. “Where are you headed anyways? Isn’t it your break?”

“I’ll probably just get some coffee from the Starbucks across campus.” Jinri shrugged, fishing out her wallet from her bag to check how much of her allowance is left. “What’s your next class anyways?”

“PE.” Jaehwan said nonchalantly, busy texting on his phone.

Jinri looked at Jaehwan, closing her wallet as she placed it back inside her bag. “PE?”

Jaehwan nodded quickly. “Yep. PE. Swimming.”

Jinri raised a brow, crossing her arms across her chest. “Swimming? With Ong Seongwu?”

Jaehwan nodded again. “Yep, with Ong Seongwu and that DJ guy you met last month, Kang Daniel.”

She pursed her lips together, nodding slowly. “Wow, small world.”

“Daniel’s actually really nice and friendly. And Ong’s his usual self, talkative and just.. _Ong._ ” Jaehwan nodded slowly, glancing at Jinri. When she didn’t react to his statement, Jaehwan took it as a signal to continue with what he was going to say. “The school might be big, but meeting Seongwu in campus isn’t something new anymore, Jin. We’re all from the same college, so stop making a fuss about it. Also, I guess you’ll be seeing him a lot from now on since we’re in a band together.”

Jinri nodded slowly, placing her cold hands inside the pocket of her thick coat. “I figured that out once I saw Seongwu behind the drums.”

“I didn’t join the band to get you closer to Seongwu originally, you’re my dear friend but my life doesn’t revolve around you.” After saying what he said, it was only then that Jaehwan realized that he might’ve been a little harsh. Jaehwan looked at Jinri, checking for her reaction. Seeing the straight expression on her face, he let out a soft chuckle as he wrapped an arm around Jinri’s shoulders, pulling her closer to him. “C’mon, you know I love you and all bu— alright, go ahead and puke. This is so unusual of us.” 

Jinri cringed, looking at Jaehwan with a weirded out expression on her face. “Yeah, what’s gotten to you? Are you on your man period?”

Jaehwan wasn’t actually wrong, or even offending at the least. Their lives doesn’t revolve around her, the sun would still keep on rising and setting even if she slept the whole day. Considering their age and situation, most of the things that they do are geared towards the betterment of their future and not really towards what’s best for others. All those heart fluttering moments were just bonuses to relieve all the stress caused by school.

“Every now and then I’m going to give you some older brother advice.”

“Uhm I have an actual oppa so no thanks.”

“Whatever.” Jaehwan rolled his eyes before letting out a soft chuckle. He patted Jinri on the shoulder, looking at her with a slight smile. “Well, I know that every now and then I’m giving you a nudge, but that’s so you could step out of your comfort zone and try out things. Just once in a while, but you know I’m not totally going to force you into something that would make you uncomfortable.”

“Uhm, you’re such a liar. You do that all the time.”

Jaehwan laughed softly, giving Jinri’s shoulder a gentle squeeze. “I know. I love seeing you suffer.” With that statement, he earned a not-so-gentle nudge on the side from Jinri. “Ouch, that hurts! If it bruises I’m suing you.”

“You don’t even have a lawyer so shut up.” Jinri rolled her eyes. “And you’re such a drama queen.”

“Oh my gosh, are you talking to yourself Jinri?” Jaehwan said in his high pitched voice, trying to imitate how Jinri said it before. If they kept a tab of how many times they rolled their eyes at each other today, it would’ve been full. “Anyways, I wanted to tell you I joined a band personally, since you don’t use your phone that much or any kind of SNS. I texted Minhyun about it but he just said ‘k’. So much for the friendly love, people.”

“I only use my phone for games, and really necessary communication, like with my mom.” Jinri shrugged. “And SNS for schoolworks. Professors go on and on about how we’re millenials and how we use SNS _so_ much as if our lives depended on it. I mean, can they not generalize?”

“Why? SNS is so fun.”

“I don’t really see the need to share everything. SNS these days are too toxic, I rarely open Facebook. Instagram’s better, just looking at pictures and all.”

“Old person problems.” Jaehwan said with a grin.

Jinri made a face, shoving Jaehwan’s arm away. “Go away.”

“Kill— OH MY GOSH!” Jaehwan suddenly stopped from walking, pointed at Jinri, his eyes wider than usual. He looked like someone who found out a very big secret, or just a very surprised person at the very least. “I KNOW WHAT’S DIFFERENT. YOU’RE WEARING THOSE FALSE LASHES!”

Jinri pursed her lips together and shook her head. “I’m not, pull them out. They’re real.” To prove her point, she did pull on her lashes very gently just in case they might hurt.

“YOU’RE SUCH A GROSS HUMAN BEING, STOP DOING THAT TO YOUR EYES!” Jaehwan closed his eyes, even covering them with his hands as he moved away from Jinri. He’s the kind of person who didn’t like it when something gets really close to his eyes, or Jinri’s eyes, or anyone’s eyes in general.

Jinri laughed heartily, feeling as if she just won the bickering battle between her and the boy overreacting beside her. “Okay, open your eyes now. I’m done.”

Peeking with one eye to make sure that Jinri’s not joking, Jaehwan scrunched his nose afterwards. “You are such a mean human being.”

“I know, thanks.” Jinri said with a grin. “I love seeing you suffer.”

Jaehwan rolled his eyes, not knowing how to respond. So, he decided to bring the conversation back to where it was before Jinri grossed him out. “Then you’re wearing makeup. You even used a blush, I am so proud of you!” Jaehwan ruffled Jinri’s hair. “Welcome to the world of femininity, you’re now a girl!”

That statement hit Jinri like a blow on the solar plexus. How Jaehwan is able to turn the situation around and actually make her embarrassed is one of his special skills.

In order to avoid a beating from the embarrassed girl in front of him, Jaehwan ran away quickly, heading to the gym that is a few meters away while waving at his dear friend.

Jinri didn’t know the walk to the gym would take long enough for Jaehwan to figure out that finally, she decided to use her makeup bag.

 

 

 

“Stop staring at me, Daniel.”

_“Sssshhh.”_

“What the— why are you shh-ing me?” Jinri raised a brow, holding up her bag to cover the side of her face facing Daniel. Ever since Daniel arrived five minutes ago, he’s been staring at her as if it’s his first time seeing Jinri.

“I’m trying to figure something out.” Daniel held Jinri’s bag, placing it on her desk so that he could take a good look of the girl in front of him. He pursed his lips into a thin line, narrowing his eyes as he looked at Jinri from different angles. “You look familiar.”

Jinri felt a little uncomfortable with what Daniel was doing, but instead of expressing it, she blurted out: “That’s such a lame pick up line, Daniel.”

Daniel chuckled softly, shaking his head in amusement. “And I’m still not flirting with you, so don’t worry.” He took off his white cap and placed it on the desk before running his fingers through his wet hair.

Daniel came to class ten minutes earlier before the designated time. When he entered the room, Jinri half-expected Seongwu to come as well, since the two came from the same class before this one, but until now, no Seongwu came.

“Dude, your hair’s dripping.”

“Mm?”

“Your hair’s dripping, dry it with something.” Jinri pointed at Daniel’s hair, beads of water dropping from his hair to his shirt at the moment. “Your shirt’s getting wet.”

“Oh.” Daniel nodded slowly, as if realizing it just now.

“You’re going to get sick, why didn’t you dry it before coming to class?”

“I’m going to be late, so I kind of didn’t have time for that.” Daniel took out a small towel from his bag and started drying his hair with it.

“Ask the professor why they schedule swimming classes on winter. It’s like they want you all to get sick.”

“The pool has a water heater and it’s really warm, I kind of enjoy it to be honest.”

Jinri nodded slowly, watching Daniel dry his hair with the towel. A week has passed ever since the school year started, and it has also been a week since Jinri started seeing more of Daniel.

Due to Daniel’s talkative nature, Jinri felt at ease. Even though she’s sober, Daniel is still as talkative and enthusiastic just like when she first met him. Having Ong Seongwu on the other side gets her a little anxious and too conscious or her movements, but with Daniel’s continuous talking and jelly offers (the guy always brings a pack of jelly which he gives out to both Jinri and Seongwu, as well as the freshman beside him named Joo Kyulkyung), Jinri feels a little at ease. Daniel never runs out of comments about all the things the professor says, and it keeps Jinri entertained. It turns out that even though Daniel looks all tough and manly and rough on the outside, he’s just as fluffy as his pink hair.

Daniel suddenly stopped halfway, the towel still hanging on his head. “I figured it out!”

Jinri raised a brow, tilting her head on the side. “Figure what out?”

“You look like my cat!” Daniel said cheerfully, smiling at Jinri as soon as he took the towel off of his head.

Taken aback by Daniel’s sudden cheerfulness, Jinri didn’t know how to react. Whether it was meant as a compliment or an insult, she really didn’t know. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at the pink-haired boy carelessly stuffing his wet towel inside his bag. “I don’t know whether I want to thank you or hit you on the head for that.”

“I’m serious! And don’t get offended, I adore my cats _a lot_.” Daniel stressed on the last two words, taking his phone out of his pocket. “You look just like Rooney.”

“ _Rooney?”_ Jinri wasn’t able to stop herself from raising her voice, catching the attention of Seongwu who just reached his seat. Jinri didn’t notice his presence yet though. “Your cat’s a boy? _Wow_.”

“Rooney’s a girl, to be honest.” Daniel said with a small chuckle, showing Jinri a picture of him and the cat named Rooney on his phone. “I named her Rooney, after my favorite soccer player since she runs really well. Turns out Rooney’s a girl, but I can’t really change her name anymore. I also have another cat and her name’s Peter. I named her after Spiderman since she loves to climb walls a lot, but it turns out Peter’s a girl so..” Daniel shrugged nonchalantly.

Hearing the tragic story of how Daniel named his cats, Jinri wanted to do a facepalm in place of Rooney and Peter. Daniel never fails to amuse her with his stories.

Jinri nodded slowly, looking at the photo on Daniel’s phone before looking at the boy once again.  She smiled and patted his head gently. “That’s cute. A puppy has a pet cat.”

Daniel chuckled softly, shrugging slightly. “Some people do say that I do have the charms of a puppy.”

Everybody suddenly straightened up as soon as the professor entered the room. Jinri turned to look at Seongwu’s seat, and she almost jumped out of hers since she didn’t know when the boy arrived. Seongwu gave her a sleepy smile and a slight bow before looking ahead.

 _“You can all relax now, we’re not going to do something dreadful.”_ The professor said with a smile as he set his laptop on the table. _“We’re just going to watch a movie, but don’t sleep. You need to submit a reaction paper on this movie next meeting.”_

Jinri heard Seongwu let out a sigh of relief. She looked at him the same time he looked at her.

“PE makes me really sleepy and tired.” He said with a sleepy smile, hugging his black bag tightly as he leaned his head on it. “Why schedule swimming classes in the winter? People, really.”

That’s exactly what she thought. She was quite amazed that he did think the same thing. Seongwu’s obviously talking to her, and she needs to respond if she didn’t want to seem like a snobby person. “I guess you can sleep today, we’re just watching a movie.”

 _Good job, Jinri,_ she thought to herself. _Take things slow and talk like an actual human being._

Seongwu raised a brow. “Really? If I did, would you cover up for me? Like, wake me up or something when the professor’s coming?”

Jinri nodded slowly. “Mm. Go ahead and sleep.”

Seongwu smiled at her and nodded. “All right, thanks.” With that, he leaned his head on his bag once again and closed his eyes. But even before Seongwu could drift off to sleep, Daniel called him out.

The pink haired boy leaned on Jinri’s desk, getting a little too close to Jinri as he called Seongwu. “Seongwu hyung.”

Seongwu didn’t open his eyes. “Mm?”

“Why is your hair dry?” It may seem like a really stupid question, but Daniel asked it so curiously and innocently it made Jinri laugh instead of wanting to do a facepalm in behalf of the guy who’s ridiculously close to her, maybe a little too close for her comfort.

Seongwu did find it amusing, for even with his eyes closed, he let out a small chuckle. “I used a hair dryer, Niel.”

“Really?” Daniel looked like someone who doesn’t know what a hair dryer is.

“Mm.” Seongwu nodded slowly. “You can borrow it next class. Now let me sleep.” He said before shooing Daniel away with his hand.

Daniel nodded with a smile, clapping his hands softly as if he won something good.

Jinri looked at him with an amused smile, patting his head gently. “Congratulations, you won’t get sick anymore.”

Chuckling, Daniel patted Jinri’s head as well. “Mm, you don’t need to worry about me anymore. And I’m still not flirting with you~” he sing song-ed.

“Let it go. That was like, a month ago.” Daniel only responded with a chuckle. Jinri wished she could be just as cheerful as him.

From time to time, Jinri looked at Seongwu’s sleeping figure. She had a hard time focusing on the movie being played in front. Even with his eyes closed and his steady breathing, Seongwu looked beautiful (despite his slightly parted lips which made him more normal than perfect). Every now and then she has this urge to touch the constellation on Seongwu’s cheek and rub it off to check whether they were real or not. They looked too beautiful to seem real.

 _Ah, I’m screwed,_ was all that Jinri could think to herself as she looked at Seongwu. First, because she’s having a hard time looking away from him, and second, since she doesn’t even understand what the movie is about anymore. Adding to the list is the sound of Daniel’s constant chewing. It seemed like media studies class is equal to Daniel’s jelly eating time.

“Yah, yah, yah yah.” Daniel’s soft and husky voice and him shaking her arms were enough to distract Jinri from her thoughts.

Jinri turned to look at Daniel, an eyebrow raised. “What?!” she whispered quite loudly, that even Kyulkyung who was watching the movie looked at her.

_“Theprofessor’scomingwakehimuphurry!”_

As soon as Jinri was able to decipher what Daniel said, she did actually see their professor walking towards their seat. He was checking whether all of the students in class are awake as he did a tour of the lecture room.

“Wake him up, wake him up!” Daniel said, shaking Jinri’s arm.

Jinri tried shaking Seongwu’s arm gently while whispering the words _‘wake up’_ but nothing happened. The boy was still sound asleep, and the professor’s getting closer and closer to their spot each second.

 _Shit, he’s going to get in trouble_ was all that she can think of. Jinri panicked. How can she wake Seongwu up? _Think, Jinri, think!_  

Due to the adrenaline rush, she did push Seongwu a little too harshly on the arm, scaring the hell out of the boy as he sat up. The professor reached their spot, raising his brow as he looked at Seongwu who had his eyes closed.

“Is he sl—” the professor was cut off after seeing Seongwu do the sign of the cross. He even mumbled a soft _Amen_ before opening his eyes.

Jinri and Daniel both looked at the professor, waiting for his reaction. The two wanted to laugh, but they were too scared to do so.

Seongwu looked at the professor, blinking his eyes slowly. “Yes, sir?”

“What are you doing, Mr. Ong Seongwu?” The professor asked in an awkward tone after clearing his throat.

“I was praying, sir. So that I could write the reaction paper well.” He ended it with a smile before bowing at their professor. With that, the professor nodded before walking away. How or why he believed it was a mystery to the three.

As soon as the professor was out of sight, Daniel and Jinri both let out a soft laugh.

Seongwu, a little embarrassed and proud of what he did, let out a soft sigh of relief. He smiled as he ran his fingers through his hair. “That was a close one.”

“You could’ve gotten into some serious trouble, man. But I have to admit, nice save.” Daniel said, leaning closer to give Seongwu a high five.

Seongwu nodded. “Mm. I learned it from a senior. Works nine out of ten times.” He then turned to look at Jinri and smiled. “Thanks.”

Jinri swore she felt her heart skip a beat.

_The things I do for you, Ong Seongwu._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> learned the sign of the cross excuse from my seniors, I have nothing against any religion and I'm not trying to make fun of it, so if I offended someone (i hope not), i am saying sorry in advance.  
> PS, HA SUNGWOON HAS THE PRETTIEST LIPS I CANNOT EVEN START
> 
> also, thank you for the comments! you guys make me feel so high i'm so crazy 너가 나를 본 순간~  
> lol see what i did there  
> but srsly, thank you for the comments! ily all, you make me want to continue writing this random shit lol  
> not going to edit anymore because lazy af hehet  
> see you in the next chapter keep loving wanna one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> ps, talk to me in twitter if you feel like doing so: https://twitter.com/kangdungchi
> 
> bye i'm really out xo


	10. the distance in between gets smaller and smaller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk how to summarize this tbh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i think this chapter would be boring, i hope not  
> BEING IMPULSIVE AND BUYING INSTYLE BC DANIEL IS THE COVER IS TOTALLY WORTH IT  
> and have you guys seen the full video of jaehwan singing skyfall? it is so lit  
> my soul was awakened  
> and daniel's contemporary dance video from hs heh such a qt  
> did a single run through and minor edits, will edit when i'm not feeling lazy and all  
> ok end of spazz, go on and read this random drabble

 

Today felt like the judgment day. Jinri’s meeting her thesis adviser, Professor Nam, for the first time this semester, and he’s ready to give her the draft filled with a lot of red marks.

Jinri can feel her knees shaking as she stood outside the faculty room. Jaehwan was the first one inside, and he’s currently having a consultation with the professor. Based on the previous discussions, Jaehwan’s thesis was going to the right path. Her thesis, on the other hand, is still a little shaky and she’s still not sure about how she’s going to gather her data.

What makes her nervous the most is the possibility of her thesis getting scrapped altogether. If this happens, all of the sleepless nights she had last semester would be put to waste. All those data she’s gathered, her effort, all gone.

Just in case that happens, Jaehwan said he got her back. Since his work is a little stable, they can work on his thesis together. Even with the assurance that she can graduate next year, given that they finish the thesis on time, Jinri knew that deep inside, it would be so much better to work on her own study and not just freeload on something Jaehwan worked so hard for.

Her phone vibrated inside her pocket, and when she checked, it was a text from Minhyun.

_To: Jinri  
From: Minhyun_

_Good luck, I know you’ll pass. ^^_

Jinri let out a sigh, placing her phone back inside her pocket. She was too nervous to even think of a proper reply. Maybe she’ll get back to it after getting her draft.

The name Yoon Jinri and the word ‘luck’ usually don’t go together, but at the moment, Jinri wished that the universe would let her off this time, give her a break from the streak of unlucky events recently. She really needed all the luck she can get.

 _If I get my thesis approved, I promise I’ll be nice,_ she thought to herself as she chewed on her lower lip. Her nerves were getting the best out of her, and she gets more anxious with every second that passed by.

The door opened and Jaehwan came out, holding the thick print-out of his thesis proposal in his arms. He looked relieved; even though Jaehwan may have the confidence of a hundred people on a daily basis, receiving the judgment for his semester’s worth of work still got the best of him. On their way to the professor’s lounge, he kept on jumping around, screaming random high notes to release the stress piling up within him (and he got scolded for it twice because he’s been disrupting classes).

“Oh my freaking gosh.” It was as if Jaehwan’s knees gave up; he let out a relieved sigh as he sat down on the floor, leaning his head and back on the wall. “I made it, I’m pushing through with my study!”

Jinri tried her best to be very happy for Jaehwan, she really did. But with all the nervousness, all that she was able to do was give him a pat on the shoulder. Maybe if she went first and had hers done already, given that the results were okay, she would’ve been jumping around out of joy for herself and her dear friend. She knew that if she gets lucky, Jaehwan would do the same for her.

Jaehwan stood up and gave her a pat on the shoulder. “Your turn. You can do this.” Jinri let out a soft sigh, nodding her head slowly. Jaehwan pressed his hand on her forehead, as if he’s passing on his energy to her. The two let out soft and awkward laughs before Jaehwan urged Jinri to go inside.

 

 

Compared to how she felt when her Japan application got rejected, this felt so much worse. After hearing the words _‘the study isn’t possible, I’m sorry’_ from her professor, everything felt like a blur. Her eyes were glazed with tears but she tried her very best to stop them from falling. Her hands were shaking so she kept them behind her back, and all the words that came out of her professor’s mouth went in and out of her ears.

She understood her professor’s concerns: it would be hard for her to gather the data she can use for the study since there are only few sources. It would be hard to build her work with the little information around. Out of the thousand books inside the library (and the other libraries around town), there was only one book which talked about her research, and using only one book would make her study a little biased. Professor Nam tried his best to go around asking people he knew if they could help look for possible respondents throughout the break, but her study seemed blurry at the moment.

Professor Nam admired her at first for her courage to take up on the research of the said topic, but gave her a warning that it’s going to be a tough ride. Jinri wanted to get out of her comfort zone and try something that she thought would make a difference. She wanted her study to be remembered and have people thinking _‘wow, she did that?’,_ but it just wouldn’t be possible at the moment.

This day marked the end of that tough ride; all of those sleepless nights were put to waste. She tried to comfort herself by thinking that she did her best, even until the end.

Her footsteps were heavy as she walked out of the room. She held her thesis proposal in her arms tightly as she met Jaehwan outside. He was waiting for her with the most hopeful expression she’s seen, mouthing the words _‘how’d it go?’_ continuously as she got closer.

Jinri forced herself to smile as she shook her head, and right in that moment, as Jaehwan’s smile faltered, she cried. Jaehwan isn’t the best person to be with during her sudden outburst of tears, but during that whole time, he held her in his arms, hugging her tightly without saying a word. He knew that no words are enough to comfort her at the moment, and hoped that him being there for her would be enough.

 

 

Throughout the whole day, Jaehwan and Minhyun tried their best to cheer her up. The two knew how much of a big deal her thesis proposal was to Jinri. Even though it kept her up most nights and brought her to tears, it kept her alive and breathing throughout the whole semester the year before. She was excited about it, and to have it scrapped altogether like this is the worst feeling on earth.

Minhyun started it off by buying her favorite ice cream bar, the blueberry yogurt bar they always buy at the convenience store beside their university, and then Jaehwan keeping it low with the teasing and bickering (he was extra nice). Jinri appreciated their effort, and they succeeded in cheering her up. She felt okay throughout the remainder of the day, her mind off of her thesis, but the alone time during her walk home from the bus stop got her mind busy again, and her mood went downhill quickly.

Before heading home, Jinri decided to stop by the convenience store one block away from their apartment building. After buying a pack of yogurt drink, she went to her usual place by the window and started drinking them one by one while staring blankly at the sidewalk. It was still too early for her to go home since she usually goes home when the sun is down, and she decided to just kill time in the convenience store.

“Do you want me to pack everything?” Jinri held her phone with one hand and held the pack of yogurt drink with the other. Jisung called a few seconds ago and asked her to pack him some clothes for his sudden meeting in Busan.

“Yes, please. I’ll br— no? We’ don’t have time to go home? Alright. Nevermind, Jin. We’re just going to buy our things there. You’ll be okay on your own, right?”

“I’m not a kid anymore, oppa. Of course I will be okay, don’t worry about me.” Jinri took the last sip of the fourth bottle of yogurt and placed the pack on the table again.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow. Stay safe, okay?”

“Back at you, oppa.” Jinri ended the call and placed her phone beside the pack of drink.

Since Jisung wouldn’t be around for dinner, she felt like buying a cup of ramen, and probably a roll of kimbap before going home. Between the two of them, Jisung was the better cook. Jinri knew how to cook as well, but she was too lazy to do so since she still has a research paper to work on when she gets home.

She was too busy on her drink to even notice the guy with the pink hair and the red hoodie staring closely at her from the other side of the window, and when she did, she felt like she almost got a heart attack.

Daniel laughed as he waved at her, holding a black skateboard with his other hand. He grinned at her before going inside the convenience store. If he was in front of her, Jinri would’ve hit him with the pack of drinks due to shock.

She followed Daniel with her gaze as he went through the shelves, paid for two cups of ramen, a pack of kimbap, a few packs of what looks like jellies and a big bottle of water.

It was unexpected to see Daniel in her neighborhood, since it’s a little far from school. Most people from the university live in the dorms since it’s cheaper, and since Daniel is someone who doesn’t originally reside in Seoul (it is obvious due to his extreme Busan accent), she automatically assumed that he lives in the dorms.

Daniel was smiling and waving at her as he walked towards where she is, and in return, Jinri awkwardly bowed, a little confused at how things ended up this way.

“Fancy seeing you here, sober Jinri.” Daniel grinned as he placed his bag of food on the table. He placed his skateboard on the floor, making sure that it wouldn’t move around before taking his food out of the bag. “This place is not really the place where most people from our school go, so why are you here?”

“Back at you, Daniel.” Jinri glanced at Daniel and watched him as he opened the small bag of jellies. He looked like a puppy munching on jellies. “I live in this area, that’s why. What about you? Why are you here?”

“I live in this area as well.” Daniel turned to look at her with a smile, tilting his head to side. “Now that’s interesting. That’s unexpected.”

“Mm.” Jinri nodded slowly, not having the energy or the enthusiasm to feel surprised that someone from school lives in her neighborhood.

Daniel poked her arm, making her look at him as he offered her some jellies. She shook her head and gave him a polite smile before concentrating on her drink.

“You’re silent today, are you okay?” Daniel glanced at her as he took off the plastic wrap on his plate of kimbap.

On a normal day, she would’ve thought of a witty comeback for that but since the day isn’t really one of her best ones, she just shrugged and threw the empty pack of yogurt drink on the trash can beside the table.

“Bad day, huh?” Daniel offered her some kimbap and she shook her head. He then looked at her with an amused expression. “Are you the kind of person who doesn’t accept food from others?”

“I’m going to get one for myself in a few so it’s really okay. Eat up and help yourself.” Daniel nodded slowly, eating the kimbap slice by slice, glancing at Jinri who’s busy staring into space from time to time. “I’m going to get some for myself.”

As she went through the shelves, Jinri kept on thinking about what to do for her thesis. Before Jaehwan left for soccer practice this afternoon, he assured her that if she felt like working with him for the thesis, he’d love to work with her and finish the study together. She’s actually considering his offer, since it’s a little too late to think of a new research topic and start over. Besides, it would be harder to finish a new research especially with the continuous productions they needed to film this semester and the upcoming internship in the summer.

Just like she planned, Jinri bought a cup of ramen, a plate of kimbap and a small pack of kimchi for dinner. Since she didn’t like eating alone, maybe it would be better to just eat at the convenience store since Daniel was there as well.

When she came back to the table, Daniel was busy tapping on his ramen cup with his disposable chopsticks, as if he was playing the drums. He looked at her and smiled, gesturing for her to join him.

“We have the same dinner.” Daniel said, as if it wasn’t the most obvious thing at the moment.

Jinri placed her hot cup of ramen on the desk and started to remove the plastic wrap from her plate of kimbap. She popped a slice in her mouth and glanced at Daniel. “How did your reaction paper go?”

“It was okay.” Daniel nodded slowly as he removed the lid of the cup completely. “I got a B.” He let out a soft chuckle and looked at Jinri. “Not really the kind of person who likes to write papers so getting a B is almost equivalent to an A-.”

Jinri nodded slowly, offering Daniel some kimbap. The boy grinned and took a slice, popping it into his mouth as he hummed a soft tune. “What’s your major again?”

 _“Mushic productionsh.”_ Daniel said as he chewed.

“Don’t talk when your mouth is full.” Jinri checked on her ramen, and it was ready. She didn’t like eating overcooked ramen noodles; she liked them a little crispy.

Daniel chuckled softly, nodding. “Yes, mom.”

“Don’t call me mom.” Jinri narrowed her eyes at Daniel, who ended up laughing more than he already does.

“You nag like my mom.”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked at the pink-haired boy busy stuffing his self with noodles. “Why do you see a lot of your family members in me?” Jinri asked in an amused tone as she crossed her arms. “You think I look like your cat, and now I nag like your mom? I’m feeling a little weirded out, Daniel.”

Daniel shrugged nonchalantly, biting on the noodles to cut them before looking at the girl beside him. “I was just stating my observation. You look like my cat, and that is a complement, just in case you feel bad. Rooney’s really pretty, you know.” The boy nudged her gently on the side, trying to convince her that being compared to a cat is actually a good thing.

Jinri shook her head in amusement. “But still, a cat?”

“Mm.” Daniel nodded. “Rooney’s really pretty.”

“I don’t know how to react to that to be honest.” Jinri shook her head in amusement, chuckling softly before she took her first bite of the ramen.

“Heh.” Daniel poked her arm repeatedly. “I made you laugh. That’s a relief.”

Jinri smiled slightly, appreciating Daniel’s effort of trying to make her feel better.

The rest of the meal was just filled with random conversations. The two talked about their media studies class, the noisy freshman block they share the class with, how Jaehwan was like in swimming class (Daniel said Jaehwan’s laugh always echoes around the pool area), and some of the clubs they have been to. Since Daniel has been to a lot of clubs recently due to his part time job as a DJ, he knows which ones were the best.

Daniel even asked Jinri to listen to a set he just created the night before, and asked for an honest opinion since he was planning to use the exact set for his gig this Friday. At first, Jinri refused since she isn’t someone who can give useful comments, but Daniel insisted that her opinion would matter since she’s part of an audience, not someone who knew the technicalities of what Daniel does. She had to give Daniel an applause after since his set was good, considering the fact that he’s just starting out, and unlike other DJs she met, Daniel’s set is considered refreshing to the ears, not just pure _tugs tugs tugs_ and beat dropping. But that’s just her, and she’s not a pro. It was just an opinion, but Daniel was grinning from ear to ear after hearing that comment.

It was already dark when the two went out of the convenience store. Daniel bought more packs of jellies since he already finished half of what he bought, and Jinri bought a bar of chocolate and a bottle of instant coffee to keep her awake that night. She still has to complete her research which was due two days from now, and she still hasn’t started yet.

“I’ll see you around, I guess?” Daniel wore the hood of his hoodie and gave her a smile as he waved at her. He placed his skateboard on the sidewalk and stepped on it, getting ready to leave.

Jinri nodded, zipping up her coat and fixing her scarf. “Mm. See you around.”

Daniel waved at Jinri as he went off, slowly skating through the sidewalk. It was the same route Jinri takes as she goes home, and she thought that maybe, Daniel lived on the apartment building a few blocks away from theirs since most people who lived in their building were families.

Jinri walked in silence, still contemplating about what she’s going to do for her research. She held her phone tightly in her hands, thinking about the exact words she’s going to use to ask Jaehwan to take her in and make her his thesis partner. She knew she has that bit of the pride, and having her research scrapped like this wasn’t part of her plan. Just like what Minhyun usually tells her, she stayed positive and believed that she can push through with her thesis. Even if Jaehwan is her friend, she still feels a little ashamed and embarrassed to ask him for such a thing, even if he already offered to do it a few hours ago.

Just before she was about to start typing her text, she received a message from Jaehwan.

_To: Jinri  
From: Jaehwan_

_I know u. You’re probably overthinking about what to say or what to do. Don’t. Don’t be embarrassed, or ashamed or whatever. U did your best, and I know you’re having a bad day bc of it. But I’m here, u can talk to me or whatever (ew btw), and yes, u can be my partner for the thesis. No need to ask, I know you’re already considering that. You’re welcome, u shit ;p_

Jinri let out a soft chuckle after reading Jaehwan’s text. He isn’t Kim Jaehwan for nothing.

_To: Jaehwan  
From: Jinri_

_Thanks shit, luv u (ew)_

_To: Jinri  
From: Jaehwan_

_OMG u r so obsessed with me go awei_

Jinri laughed softly as she placed her phone back inside her coat’s pocket, and ran quickly to catch the lift slowly closing its doors. It was a good thing that the person inside was nice enough to press the button so the doors wouldn’t fully close, and luckily, Jinri was able to get in.

She bowed at the person, catching her breath while doing so.

_“Oh?”_

A familiar husky voice caught her attention as she looked up. The shade of the red hoodie looked familiar, and when she stood up completely, that was when she confirmed it. Jinri stared at the pink-haired boy who she was just talking to a few minutes ago.

Daniel looked at her with a raised eyebrow, his lips slowly forming a smile. “This would be interesting.”

 

 

 

 

“I hate you, Minhyun.” Jaehwan narrowed his eyes as he looked at Minhyun from head to toe. He crossed his arms across his chest, looking like a five-year-old kid glaring at his classmate for bringing the same bag as his.

Minhyun raised a brow, completely dumbfounded at how Jaehwan acted. “What is your problem?”

“Stop dressing up like that.” Jaehwan scoffed as he gestured at the way Minhyun was dressed. “Stop dressing up like a prince, I look like so small beside you.”

Jinri watched in amusement as Jaehwan sulked. Minhyun liked to dress up, and with his handsome face and height, everything he wears looks good on him. He isn’t the type to buy a lot of clothes though, but every time his mother visits him in Seoul, she goes on a shopping spree for she wouldn’t want her son to look shabby. On this special day, he was wearing this striped long-sleeve shirt, tucked in his black jeans, paired with a black coat.

Jaehwan on the other hand, is the complete opposite of Minhyun’s classic style. He chooses comfort over pretty clothes which make you sacrifice a lot. Hoodies, the classic pair of jeans and loose sweatshirts which can be used for layering makes up his wardrobe. ([Minhyun and Jaehwan's outfit reference](https://ton.twitter.com/i/ton/data/dm/910042743816183812/910042732042739712/Mv9MKGYQ.jpg:large))

Minhyun blinked, amused at what Jaehwan said. Not knowing what to say, he ended up laughing while shaking his head. “Ah, Jaehwan.” He said adoringly, ruffling Jaehwan’s hair while doing so.

“What the hell, are you on your period?” Jinri asked in an amused tone as she pushed the pub’s door with her whole body, glancing at Jaehwan who’s still busy sulking.

The three went inside _Nostalgia,_ the pub where Jaehwan and his band played before. Jaehwan and Jinri wanted to work on their very first script assignment together, exchanging ideas and criticizing each other’s works while doing so. Since Jaehwan isn’t really the type of person to stay inside the library for so long, he suggested to just go to this specific pub due to its relaxing ambiance. Jinri was more than happy to agree, since the pub was really her style. Minhyun tagged along, bringing his laptop with him to edit some of the articles for the semester’s first newspaper, as well as making improvements and adjustments on his thesis.

“My handsome friend is sulking.” Jinri grinned, pinching Jaehwan’s fluffy cheek as they settled on the small booth by the corner.

Jaehwan scoffed, pushing Jinri’s hand away.

“He’s sulking since the girl he said hi to asked for my number.” Minhyun said with a slight chuckle, sitting across Jaehwan and Jinri. He placed his backpack beside him and took out his laptop. “I told her I don’t have a phone and that I don’t talk to strangers.”

Jinri chuckled, nodding slowly. “Nice one, Minhyun.” The two high-fived, laughing softly while Jaehwan continued to sulk. Jinri looked at the boy beside her and nudged him gently. “C’mon, she probably isn’t that pretty. You make girls scream whenever you play the guitar, you don’t need to dress up like Minhyun to get all the girls. Just sing _Skyfall_ and all girls would probably offer their selves to you.”

Looking a little convinced, Jaehwan’s expression slowly turned into a smirk. “Oh c’mon, Jinri. Stop confessing your love for me lik— ” before Jaehwan was able to finish his sentence, Jinri punched him hard on the arm, mouthing the words _‘shut up you shit’_. “HEY!!!! STOP HITTING ME, YOU SADIST!” Jaehwan gritted on his teeth as he pulled on the hoodie of Jinri’s jacket, using it to cover her whole face. He held onto it, pulling it downwards tightly while laughing.

“I CAN’T BREATHE YOU SHIT!” Jinri flailed her arms, trying to hit Jaehwan as much as possible even without seeing where her fists land. None of her punches reached Jaehwan though.

Minhyun laughed as he scanned the menu for something to eat, glancing at the two across him. “Stop, children.” He then hit the two lightly on the head with the menu until they stopped bickering like elementary school students. “Let’s order.”

Jinri grimaced as she fixed her hoodie and her hair afterwards, glaring at Jaehwan who looked like he won the lottery. He happily scanned the menu, looking at each page with enthusiasm.

“I’m ordering the large cheeseburger with fries and a glass of beer.” Jaehwan closed the menu and handed it to Jinri.

She glanced at him as she scanned the menu. “You’re going to drink?”

Jaehwan nodded nonchalantly. “I write scripts and papers better when I’m a little drunk.”

Minhyun nodded, closing the menu. “He starts his research papers when he’s drunk, and edits it the day after. I read his work once after he passed out, and he does make interesting analysis on times like that.”

Jaehwan grinned proudly, taking his laptop out of his bag. “I know, I’m that awesome. Sometimes, I get surprised at what I wrote the night before, like the things I wouldn’t be able to think of when I’m sober. ”

“Eh?” Jinri raised an eyebrow, not fully believing Jaehwan. “Really?” She reads most of his papers, and Jaehwan really does have interesting points and analysis of things. If he really did those with alcohol in his system, she wanted to applaud him. She knows she won’t be able to do something that good when she’s drunk. She’ll just end up sleeping.

Minhyun nodded. “You know how some people in the art department drink first before they paint? Jaehwan does that. Sometimes with soju.”

Jinri nodded slowly, glancing at Jaehwan who was calling the waiter. “You really are an interesting person with an interesting point of view.”

“I know, don’t fall for me too much.” Jaehwan grinned, instantly raising his arms to block any attack from the girl beside him. It has already become an instinct for him to block any kind of hits from Jinri whenever he makes jokes like that. When Jaehwan finally let his guard down, that was when Jinri attacked him, earning whines and complains from the boy.

After ordering (Minhyun ordered a one serving of carbonara, a glass of cookies and cream milkshake and a plate of garlic sticks he’s going to share with Jinri. On the other hand, Jinri ordered one serving of chicken pesto, a glass of iced tea and a slice of blueberry cheesecake Jaehwan agreed to share with her), the three started working on each of their homeworks.

Jinri and Jaehwan’s first individual script for the semester was a public service ad script on special issues, most especially suicide. Jaehwan already had an idea of what to do with his work, already typing the plot of his script on his laptop. On the other hand, Jinri was still trying to conceptualize hers. Since it was an extremely sensitive topic, Jinri wanted to convey it in a way that isn’t too graphic or depressing; just the right amount of everything enough to tell the people its message.

The three worked in silence, eating a spoonful of food every now and then. Jaehwan was already halfway with his work and his glass of beer, and since grammar isn’t Jaehwan’s biggest strength, Jinri had to read his work and make some adjustments. Minhyun wore his earphones, listening and singing to random songs on his playlist as he did his work.

“Eh?” Minhyun’s voice caught Jinri and Jaehwan’s attention. The two looked at him, and then followed the direction of his gaze. Minhyun was looking at the painting hung on the wall right beside their booth. “This is Seongwu’s work.”

Jinri stared at the painting beside her. It really is Seongwu’s work, his sign is on the lower right side of the canvass. It was a small signature, his surname written in English with three dots on the letter O, just like the shape the three moles on his face created. Seongwu’s work was called _‘Constellation’,_ an abstract painting filled with dark colors, mostly the different shades of blue and gray.

“Wow, it looks deep.” Minhyun said while looking at the painting hung on the wall. “The colors are really dark and gloomy.”

Jinri nodded slowly, agreeing with what Minhyun said. “It’s pretty though.”

“Mm hmm.” Jaehwan nodded, taking a sip of his beer before going back to his work.

Jinri excused herself, heading to the restroom for a little break, and also, to wash her face to keep herself awake. They’ve been working on each of their homeworks for almost two hours, and she’s feeling a little sleepy and tired from staring at her laptop for so long.

_“Hyung,”_

Jinri thought she was just delusional, but she heard Seongwu’s voice as soon as she went out of the restroom. She looked around the place, and saw Seongwu talking to the person behind the counter, holding a big canvass wrapped with manila paper.

Jinri hid by the walls, watching Seongwu out of curiosity, and also, afraid that he might see her looking all sleepy and tired.

 _“Thank you for buying this, Yoojin hyung. I could really use the money.”_ Seongwu continuously bowed at the manager, handing him the canvass carefully.

 _“It’s okay, your works fit the ambiance of the restaurant.”_ The manager named Yoojin answered, handing Seongwu a small white envelope. _“You’re running out of money?”_

Seongwu nodded, rubbing his nape shyly.

_“Jiwu isn’t giving you any money?”_

_“I don’t want to bother her. Noona’s been really busy these days.”_

_“Just go back home, Seongwu.”_

Seongwu’s smile faltered a little, shaking his head. _“You know why I can’t, hyung.”_

The guy named Yoojin let out a sigh, nodding slowly. _“Alright. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to come to me.”_

Seongwu shook his head. _“It’s okay, hyung. Thank you. I don’t want to be a bother.”_ He bowed once again. _“I’ll be leaving first, hyung. I’ll see you around.”_

After making sure that Seongwu has left, Jinri walked out of the restroom hallway. On her way back to their booth, another painting of Seongwu has caught her attention: _‘Underneath’._ Just like the previous one, it’s an abstract painting filled with warm colors such as red, orange and yellow, together with a few streaks of black and gray.

Jinri isn’t the kind of person who knew much about art, but this work of his is the complete opposite of the kind Seongwu she has seen so far. Beyond the brightness of the colors Seongwu used, it felt dark, gloomy and lonely.

Despite all the smiles and laughs, is Seongwu a lonely person? Jinri couldn’t help but wonder.

 

 

_“If my paintings could speak, they would’ve told you to stop staring already.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and i think this story would be longer than expected  
> bc cheese in the trap is my fave, i wanted the feels to be like that, not just a romance story but something that other people can relate to. i hope it's going the right path  
> let me know what u think of this chapter, xo


	11. the past, the present and the ones in between

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so the previous chapter was a little boring and i hope this makes up for it  
> ps, the tickets for wanna one fan meeting in the ph are toooo pricey smh @ IME  
> oh, and jbj teasers are out and i swear, it's the best concept i've seen since i became a kpop stan in 2010  
> sanggyun looks so dashing i cannot even

 

_“If my paintings could speak, they would’ve told you to stop staring already.”_

Jinri was frozen on the spot right after hearing Seongwu’s voice from behind. She bit her lower lip, giving herself a mental facepalm as she slowly turned to look at the boy behind her, giving him a polite bow. He looked at her with a serious expression and the only thing Jinri could think of doing was to apologize. “I didn’t m—”

Seongwu suddenly smiled, catching Jinri off guard as he waved his hands in front of her, a gesture to stop her from apologizing. “I was just kidding.”  He took a sip from the cup of ice cold Americano he was holding, walking closer to Jinri. Seongwu kept his gaze on the canvass hung on the wall. “Don’t be so tense. I’m actually happy that you’re taking time to look at this extremely random work.”

“You call this random?” Jinri raised a brow, pointing at the painting in front of them.

Being classmates with Seongwu helped get rid of most the nervousness she has every time he speaks to her, or every time he’s around. She’s still feeling a little nervous, but she’s trying to clear her mind, not overthink and just act like a normal human being not infatuated with the person beside her.

Jinri has to admit that she’s feeling a little proud that she can talk to Seongwu now like a normal person instead of just running away. Besides, it would cause so much awkwardness if she walked away at the moment, especially when Seongwu is talking to her and not just coincidentally heading towards where she is.

“Mm.” Seongwu nodded nonchalantly. “This is extremely random.”

“I can’t even do this with my best effort, and you call this random?” Jinri tried her best not to sound so surprised. Since Seongwu is an art major, this kind of thing may be a piece of cake for him.

Seongwu let out a soft chuckle, shrugging slightly. “I did that out of the blue, and those were the colors which caught my eyes.”

He went on and on enthusiastically about how he did the painting, using several art terms which Jinri couldn’t understand. Not wanting to look stupid or disrespectful, she kept on nodding every once in a while as if she understood everything Seongwu’s saying.

“And I’m guessing you didn’t understand any of the terms I used, huh?” Seongwu looked at her with an amused smile.

“Guilty.” Jinri let out a soft chuckle, nodding slowly. “Sorry, I’m interested in art but I don’t know much. The only things I understood from what you said were paintbrush, canvass, and oil-based paint.”

Seongwu looked at her, a little amazed. “You know about oil-based paint? That’s something not much people are aware of. Others think we use one kind of paint, or watercolors at the simplest.”

“I wanted to be an art major when I was younger, that’s why.” Jinri joked. “My stick drawings are the best.”

“Make me one stick drawing of yours in our media studies class, it gets really boring.” Seongwu said with a smile, glancing at Jinri. “I’ll bring colorful pens.”

“Alright, I’ll prepare my rusty art skills.”

The two stood there in silence, feeling a little awkward after running out of things to say. Jinri’s mind was slowly starting to panic, thinking of different things at once: should she talk about random art stuff she knows?  No, that would be too pretentious. Should she just stay there in silence? No, it would be too awkward. Should she just tell him she’s leaving first? That seemed like the most decent one out of the three.

Right before she could say anything, Seongwu looked at her. “Are you free next week?”

Jinri blinked, a little surprised and confused at his sudden question. Why on earth would he ask that kind of question? His question triggered the overthinking side of Jinri’s brain.

“You see,” Seongwu looked at her with a smile. “Our organization’s holding an art exhibit next week. You should come. You’ll get the chance to see works that aren’t as random as this one.”

In their university, there are different organizations which have their own specialty. Besides different fraternities and sororities, most of them are official organizations created for a specific degree program (i.e. Minhyun’s journalism organization which is in charge of the university paper, Seongwu’s art major organization, the _Society of the Visual Arts_ which aims to unite art majors, as well as people with interest and the skills in the art field) and other interest organizations (for people who like a certain thing such as cooking, and other hobbies).

Jinri raised a brow. “When exactly?”

“On Saturday. Besides the art exhibit, there are live bands and guess who’s playing?” He asked with such an enthusiastic smile, wriggling his brows as he pointed to his self with his thumb.

“You?” Jinri answered with a soft chuckle, finding Seongwu’s actions extremely cute.

Seongwu nodded. “Mm. We’re going to play there. Also, there are free drinks and snacks for everyone. You’re going to come, right?” He looked at her with a hopeful smile, and Jinri couldn’t help but nod.

“You need to buy the ticket from me, okay?” As if Seongwu was tempting her to do something, she just nodded. It felt worth it though, she got to see Seongwu smile. “All right, I’ll reserve one for you. I’ll see you in class, mm? I’m going ahead first.”

Jinri watched Seongwu as he left, the boy waving at her before he went out of the pub. She was still in a daze, Seongwu’s smile had that effect on her.

 _“Hey, shit.”_ Jaehwan’s voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts. She almost jumped out of shock after seeing Jaehwan standing beside her. She didn’t even notice when or how Jaehwan was able to get there.

“You scared me!” Jinri scrunched her nose, looking at Jaehwan who’s face has gotten really red.

“Seongwu sold you tickets, right?” Jaehwan said, chuckling. It was obvious that he was a little drunk, and it is a signal for the three to call it a night.

Jinri nodded slowly. She still felt a little confused.

Jaehwan laughed louder, shaking his head. “That guy, really. _That sly guy._ He needed to sell _all_ the tickets with him. He even sold me one even though I’m one of the members of the band. ONG SEONGWU IS A SLY PERSON!” Jaehwan laughed louder, making the other people in the pub look at where two were.

She didn’t realize it at first, but she did end up laughing as well (while she tried to cover Jaehwan’s mouth and silence him because he’s already making a scene). Ong Seongwu just sold her tickets to an art exhibit. He talked to her because he needed to sell all the tickets he had. She felt like she got scammed, and it seemed funny because the drunk guy beside her kept on laughing like crazy.

On the brighter side, she got to talk to Seongwu, and see his beautiful smile. It was worth it though. A few bucks are nothing compared to Seongwu’s smile.

_The things I do for you, Ong Seongwu. Really._

 

 

_*_

 

_To: Ong Seongwu  
From: Yoon Jinri_

_Seongwu, I’m at the convenience store._

Jinri pressed the send button and placed her phone down on the table. It’s her first time to go to an event or a party without Jaehwan and Minhyun. Because it’s a school event, Minhyun had to go fetch his camera from the dorm and go with the other members of the Journalism club to cover the event. On the other hand, Jaehwan was still at soccer practice, and will be heading straight to the venue just in time for the bands.

Ever since the day Seongwu asked Jinri to buy some tickets, he’s been reminding her about it every time they see each other. At first, Jinri didn’t want to come, or if she did, she would wait for Jaehwan and just come together. It was her plan, since she already told Seongwu she’d come. However, the boy insisted that she should come earlier for she would miss a lot from the program.

 _“I’ll keep you company.”_ She remembered Seongwu say, trying to convince her. _“Niel and I would keep you company, right, Niel?”_

At first, she was firm with her decision: she was going to wait for Jaehwan and come with him just in time for the bands. But Ong Seongwu isn’t Ong Seongwu for nothing. In the end, he got Jinri’s number from Jaehwan and told her to come earlier.

And that’s how she ended up waiting for Seongwu at the convenience store a few blocks away from the venue.

_To: Yoon Jinri  
From: Ong Seongwu_

_Alright, I’ll be there in a few_

Just like what Seongwu said, he came in six minutes later. Jinri was surprised to see the boy outside the convenience store, waving at her and gesturing for her to come outside.

Jinri nodded, heading out of the convenience store slowly. She let out a sigh as she pushed the door open with her whole body. _Act normal, Yoon Jinri. You can get through the night until Minhyun and Jaehwan comes._

Seongwu smiled and waved at her as she walked towards him. He looked classy with his maroon button-down shirt, one side tucked in his jeans, black jeans and the leather belt hugging his waist. His hair was styled neatly, just like the famous comma hairstyle most actors sport recently.

After seeing how Seongwu was dressed, Jinri felt so underdressed. Her faded ripped jeans, worn out sneakers and the _marymond_ shirt she likes underneath her favorite gray jacket look so shabby right next to Seongwu’s outfit.

“You should’ve told me if there was a dress code.” Jinri scrunched her nose, looking at Seongwu from head to toe.

Seongwu chuckled softly, shaking his head slightly. “No, no. Don’t worry, there isn’t any dress code. The members of our organization need to wear something like this since we’re going to present the exhibit to the people.” He then smiled at Jinri, making her feel a little nervous and blank. “I thought you won’t come.”

 _Chill, Jinri._ She had to remind herself. Jinri gave him a small smile, shaking her head slowly. “I already promised I’d come, and I’m not the kind to break them.” She looked around, looking for any sign of Daniel’s presence. Seongwu clearly stated before that Daniel would be with him, but the said boy was nowhere to be seen. She would feel a little more comfortable to have Daniel around, since she wouldn’t be left alone with Seongwu only. “Where’s Daniel?”

Seongwu shrugged. “I couldn’t find him in the venue and he won’t answer my calls. He’s probably drinking up all the beer there.” He chuckled softly at the thought before clasping his hands together. “Should we go now?”

Seongwu led her to this modern-style house a few blocks away from the convenience store. Music can already be heard from the outside, and different colored lights lit the open space behind the said building. It was a wide two-storey modern-style house with black and white walls, a place famous for different parties and out of school events by different organizations from their university.

“I have your ticket with me, don’t worry.” Seongwu said with a smile, gesturing for her to follow him to the entrance. He showed his ID to the person behind the counter before giving high-fives to his other org-mates busy selling tickets to those who weren’t able to purchase beforehand.

He took out the ticket from his back pocket and handed it to his org-mate. “Give me your hand, Jinri.” He peeled the sticker off of the edge of the strap. Jinri held out her left wrist. “Nope, the right one.” Seongwu took her right wrist and wrapped the strap around her wrist.

Jinri knew her hand was shaking. She tried her best to keep her hand still, but she just can’t. It was embarrassing.

“You’re shaking, and your hand is cold.” Seongwu attached the sticker on the strap before he let go of her hand. He looked at her with a slightly concerned expression. “Don’t worry, it’s warm inside. If you don’t feel like drinking cocktails or beer, we also serve coffee.”

She nodded, placing her hands inside her jacket’s pocket. As soon as they went in, the song _And July_ by Heize, Dean and DJ Friz can be heard around the place. Jinri felt at ease, slowly bobbing her head to the rhythm of the song. It was one of her favorites, and the song matched the over-all aura of the exhibit.

The two headed straight to the second floor, making their way amidst the drunk people partying at the ground floor. The actual exhibit took place upstairs, since it would be a little crazy to have drunk people and fragile art pieces in one room.

The plain white walls were decorated with different paintings and sculptures with strong colors, and the black wall on the right side was where the ones with dull colors in order to complement the strength of the wall’s color. There wasn’t much decoration around; the paintings and sculptures were enough to make the place alive.

Seongwu took a small pamphlet from the small table right beside the door. “Here you go.” He handed it to Jinri. “Welcome to the Society of the Visual Arts’ annual exhibit. Do you want me to give you a full tour of the place first or do you need some alone time to look at everything?”

“I’ll take a look around first.” Jinri nodded, giving Seongwu a slight smile.

The boy nodded. “Alright, call me if you need me.” He smiled at her before walking off to the group of guys wearing clothes the same color as his, probably his org-mates.

Jinri took a quick scan of the place, not knowing where to start. She has always been a big fan or anything art-related, and for someone who can only draw stick people, this kind of place was a feast to the eyes.

The pamphlet she was holding contained all the information about the exhibit. The art exhibit was called _Raw_ , and just by looking at the pieces displayed would be enough for an explanation. It turns out that this event is a joint project by the Society of the Visual Arts and the official organization of the Literature majors: an art exhibit and a poetry night in one night.

Around twenty art majors participated in the said exhibit, showcasing different works from oil based paintings to different sculptures displayed around the area. Jinri went to look at each work one by one, admiring the beauty of each work.

Seongwu had a total of two works for the exhibit, and it surprised Jinri. The first one which was placed on the black wall was called _‘Ethereal’_ , a painting of a woman, laying down on a bed of flowers. It looked real, as if it was a photograph taken and printed instead of something made from paint. Even though there were flowers in the painting, the colors Seongwu used were all dull. The only color which stood out was the red paint he used for a small flower on the corner.

The other was called _‘Emergency’,_ a picture of a young boy playing toy cars despite the busy and lonely emergency room behind him. The strokes were sharp and easily seen, as well as the colors Seongwu used. In comparison to the previous one, the colors were vibrant and strong, almost as if it was screaming at her face.

Jinri stared at the two paintings in front of her. There are still so many sides of Seongwu she hasn’t seen yet, and the pictures he made was giving her a peek of what they might be like.

“That’s Seongwu’s mom.” Dongho suddenly appeared beside her, giving Jinri a mini heart attack. She was too engrossed at the paintings to even notice when or how Dongho arrived.

Jinri looked at Dongho; the boy was looking at the painting on the black wall. That’s the explanation; the woman in the picture did resemble Seongwu a lot. The two stayed silent for a few seconds, Dongho busy taking a sip of his drink (how he was able to sneak it in was a mystery since drinks weren’t allowed at the second floor)

“And you’re here.” Dongho turned to look at Jinri, smiling.

“And I’m here.” Jinri answered awkwardly, nodding slowly. “Do you have any works here? Probably something I missed?”

Dongho looked at her with an amused expression. “What?”

“Aren’t you part of the exhibit?”

“Jinri, I’m not an art major.”

Jinri blinked, not knowing what to say. Since Dongho , Jonghyun and Seongwu are seen together most of the time, she just assumed that Dongho was also an art major. But she was wrong.  No wonder he didn’t have that kind of aura most art majors have. Jonghyun probably isn’t an art major as well.

“Then what’s your major?” Jinri asked curiously, crossing her arms across her chest.

“I’m a music production major.” Dongho looks amused; letting out a soft chuckle as he looked at Jinri.

She felt a little embarrassed, but she can’t do anything about it anymore. “So Daniel’s your classmate probably?”

Dongho shook his head slowly. “Nope. He’s my junior.”

“Junior?” Jinri blinked, a little confused. If Daniel is Dongho’s junior, then.. “Are you a fourth year music production major?”

“And you’re only realizing that now?” Jinri nodded, a little dumbfounded. Dongho ended up laughing as he looked at the girl. “This is funny. You thought we’re both juniors? I’m a senior, and I’m graduating this semester. Wow, I didn’t know I look that young.”

Jinri was really dumbfounded. She didn’t know that Dongho was older than her; she kept on treating him like how she would treat a friend of the same age. If she knew, she would’ve been more careful.

“Oh, and just in case, Jonghyun’s a senior as well.” Dongho added in a teasing manner. “And Seongwu’s the same age as me, if you’re curious. He’s a year late since he’s not originally an art major.”

Jinri chewed on her lower lip, not knowing what to say. All this time, she’s been acting a little rude and careless around her seniors. She’s a little lucky that Dongho isn’t unlike the others who demand respect from the younger ones and gets mad whenever someone’s being disrespectful.

Dongho noticed the sudden change in Jinri’s mood. He nudged the girl, a little surprised that she turned silent. “Oh my gosh, don’t be so tense and awkward.” He looked a little flustered from the sudden change of Jinri’s treatment towards him. “It’s okay, really. Just act like how you were before, like we’re friends or something.”

“Are you sure?” Jinri asked, a little unsure if it was okay to keep acting the way she used to around Dongho.

Dongho nodded. “Yeah, it would be awkward if you suddenly go all _sunbaenim_ on me. That’ll be weird after all the _stop it or else I’m going to hurt you Kang Dongho’s.”_ The boy laughed heartily, making Jinri feel a little comfortable and at ease. “Do you want to go downstairs? There are food and drinks. That is if you’re done with your business up here.”

Jinri nodded, placing the pamphlet inside her bag. “I’m getting a little hungry.” It seemed a little awkward because she’s not usually this friendly around Dongho, but since she doesn’t know anyone in the place and Seongwu’s nowhere to be seen, she didn’t have a choice. She’s actually feeling a little grateful towards Dongho for asking her to come with him downstairs. Being alone at university parties doesn’t seem nice, it makes one look like an outcast in the sea of overly-friendly people.

“Kang Dongho, how many times am I supposed to tell you that drinks aren’t allowed in here?” Yoon Chaekyung, one of the members of the organization, said as Dongho and Jinri passed by the table of those in charge of the exhibit.

Dongho smiled at Chaekyung, waving as he headed for the stairs. “Sorry, not going to happen again.” He then looked at Jinri. “Ladies first.”

The first floor was half-filled with people drinking and playing different games. A group of guys and girls on the right side of the room were cheering for someone about to throw the darts, another group playing billiards, and a bunch of noisy guys playing beer pong.

“Aren’t art exhibits usually quiet and not like this?” Jinri had to lean a little close to Dongho for him to hear what she was saying since the music from the speakers was a little loud. How this scene wasn’t able to disturb the serenity of the exhibit upstairs was a mystery. The soundproofing must be really good.

“You know people from our university. If the art majors did it like the usual ones, not much people would come. Only those with genuine interest would come, or the friends of the art majors. Not trying to degrade them or anything, _their works are lit_.” Dongho emphasized on the last phrase. “But you know others. Alcohol attracts a lot of people from school, that’s why.” Dongho carefully placed an arm around Jinri’s shoulder, guiding her towards the bar. “Careful.”

Jinri nodded, feeling a little awkward that Dongho’s actually taking care of her. “It’s a surprise that people are actually complying to the _no alcohol upstairs_ rule. Well, except for you though.”

Dongho let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head in amusement. “I’m friends with the ones guarding the stairs since I’m at your building most of the time.” He gave his cup to the person behind the counter, getting a bottle of beer instead. “What are you going to have? Beer?”

“I don’t drink beer. I’ll have a cocktail.”

Dongho nodded, requesting for a cup of cocktail for Jinri. He also got a cup of bread sticks and handed it to Jinri before giving her the red cup of drink.

“There you are!” Seongwu’s voice was loud enough for the two to hear. He made his way towards Dongho and Jinri, catching his breath a little. “I was looking for you upstairs. I thought you left.”

“Kind of took over since you weren’t around.” Dongho said with a smile, handing a bottle of beer to Seongwu.

Seongwu looked a little guilty for leaving Jinri alone, even if she kind of requested that little alone time. “Sorry, I was a little busy with the event outside. The literature majors needed help with the setup of the stage for the bands and I wa—”

“Don’t worry, it’s okay.” Jinri cut him off before he felt more guilty. “I’m really okay. Bread sticks?” she offered him, smiling.

“Are you sure?”

Jinri nodded. “One hundred percent. Now, let’s go find Daniel. He still owes me a few minutes of his time.”

While munching on the bread sticks, Jinri went with Dongo and Seongwu to look for Daniel. Since Seongwu was just outside, he was sure that Daniel wasn’t there.

It turns out that Daniel’s one of the noisy guys playing beer pong. From the looks of it, it seemed like he was the one winning since he kept on dancing out of excitement. When Jinri took a good look at the guys Daniel was playing with, she felt a little uneasy.

Right beside Daniel is Kim Yongguk, one of Sanggyun’s friends. Across the two were Noh Taehyun, Kim Donghan, Kim Taedong, Takada Kenta and Kwon Hyunbin, Sanggyun’s friends as well.

Ever since the breakup, Jinri hasn’t seen Sanggyun or his friends around school. The guys were a little aloof and cold towards Jinri ever since the split, thinking that she broke up with their friend because of another guy. That is one of the reasons why she kept her distance, and whenever she sees them around campus, she’s lucky enough to not meet them this close.

 _“Niel!”_ Seongwu called, catching the guy’s attention as well as the group of guys he was with.

Daniel looked up, turning to look at where Seongwu was. “Ong hyung!” He smiled, gesturing for the guy to come closer.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, man.” When Seongwu got closer and took a good look at who Daniel was with, it seemed like he hesitated a little. He greeted Daniel with a soft pat on the shoulder, bowing slightly at the others as well. Dongho did the same as well, standing right beside Seongwu afterwards.

The guys gave both Dongho and Seongwu slight bows, acknowledging their presence as well.

Daniel took a peek behind Seongwu and saw Jinri. “Yoon Jinri is here as well! Hello there, neighbor!” The boy seemed a little more giddy and happier than usual, probably the effect of the beer he’s had ever since he arrived at the party an hour ago.

Upon the mention of Jinri’s name, the guys’ expressions slowly changed into a serious one. They all looked at Jinri, then at Seongwu.

Daniel took Jinri by the wrist, pulling her closer to the table. “Guys, meet Jinri. She’s a friend, and my neighbor.”

Jinri bowed at the guys, feeling a little weird at the sudden turn of events. The atmosphere around the beer pong table was suddenly starting to get a little tense, in addition to the group of guys refusing to speak. It seemed like Daniel was the only one aware of the current situation.

She knew the reason why it’s weird for her to be around Sanggyun’s friends, but she doesn’t know the reason behind the tension slowly building between the boys (except Daniel). If it was from the point of view of Taehyun and the others, she was sure of it. However, she was curious of Seongwu and Dongho’s reason.

“Yeah.” Noh Taehyun was the first one to break the awkward silence. “We’ve met before.”

“She used to date Sanggyun hyung.” Kim Donghan said in a matter-of-factly tone before taking a sip from his drink.

And things got more awkward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i'm not too lazy, the next one will be up tonight xo


	12. the long overdue tea party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tea party. lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so we got tickets for wanna one's fanmeeting here  
> and i'm not rich af to get vip tickets  
> but nevertheless  
> I'M SEEING DANIEL IN OCTOBER
> 
> disclaimer: i don't really write poems so i am apologizing in advance for whatever you're going to read, i tried my best though :(  
> will edit when i'm not too lazy since my eyes and head hurt already *^*

 

 

“She used to date Sanggyun hyung.” Kim Donghan said in a matter-of-factly tone before taking a sip from his drink.

“Oh, I see..” Daniel blinked, a little confused at the sudden turn of events. And it finally hit him, slowly getting aware of the situation. His expression suddenly changed, as if it was screaming _oh shit oh shit what did I just do_ at the moment.

Jinri didn’t know what to do. It would be better for the ground to eat her alive at the moment. What would be a better thing to do at the moment? Her mind went blank.

She wanted so bad to clear the situation; tell the guys, Sanggyun especially that Seongwu isn’t the reason for her shortcomings. As clichéd as it sounds, the usual movie line _‘it’s not you, it’s me’_ is the perfect phrase to describe Jinri’s reasons. It was just the wrong timing for Sanggyun and Jinri, and no other person should be blamed or held responsible for the outcome of it but her.

Sanggyun holds a special spot in her heart, and Jinri knows it well. Even at the moment, she still felt guilty for hurting Sanggyun that much. He got tired of waiting, and when someone who used to love you with all their heart tells you that he’s tired, you know you’re the one who fucked up real good.

Daniel looked really guilty. Even though he stood still, it was obvious that he was thinking of how to turn things around to stop all the awkwardness he caused. Looking around, he met Dongho’s gaze. Dongho subtly pointed towards the door with his thumb, gesturing for Daniel to start preparing for them to leave.

“Alright,” Kenta suddenly said. “Are we still going to continue the game or naaaah?” He tried to liven up the mood by nudging his friends one by one, snapping his fingers in front of Daniel to catch the boy’s attention.

“I think I’m going to call it a night, since I won two times in a row.” Daniel said with an awkward chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood. It was a success though, since the guys laughed and teased Hyunbin who drank most of the beer since he lost.

While the guys teased Hyunbin, Daniel placed an arm around Jinri’s shoulder carefully, slowly turning her to the side. Jinri looked at him, a little confused. Daniel mouthed the words ‘ _sorry’_ before gesturing that they should leave the spot as soon as possible.

“Yeah, we’re going to go ahead.” Dongho added, tapping Seongwu on the shoulder and gestures for them to leave the spot. “It was nice seeing you guys here.”

Seongwu cleared his throat, preparing to leave as well. “We’ll see you guys around. I hope you’re having fun tonight.”

Taehyun nodded, finally able to give the others a smile. “The feeling’s mutual, Dongho. Seongwu.” Taehyun looked at Jinri, giving her a small smile as he gave her an acknowledging nod. “You too, Jinri.”

Jinri nodded slowly. “I’ll see you guys around. Have fun.”

“I’ll see you guys around. Nice game, Hyunbin.” Daniel gave each one of the guys a high five with his free hand before leaving with Jinri, Dongho and Seongwu.

Dongho led the three to the garden, where most of the people were. The literature majors were hosting a poetry event, where lit majors can showcase their works, and give other people a chance to present their own poems during the open mic sessions every once in a while.

Daniel let out a sigh of relief, his knees giving up. “Oh my gosh, I am so sorry Jinri!” He stood up, looking like a kicked puppy as he continuously apologized to the girl. “I didn’t know, I’m really sorry. I just met those guys tonight, they were my roommate’s friends and I didn’t know that you used to date that Sanggyun guy! I promise, it wasn’t intentional. I’m really sorry!”

Jinri nodded, not really blaming Daniel for what happened. He was just trying to be friendly, and it isn’t his fault that he wasn’t informed of Jinri’s dating history. “It’s okay, Daniel. You didn’t know. I’m the one who should be apologizing, since I put you guys in an awkward position.” She looked at Dongho and Seongwu as well, bowing at each of them.

Daniel stopped her from bowing, still feeling guilty because of what he did. “No, no! Don’t apologize, it was my fault. I am such an insensitive person. I’m really sorry, Jinri, Ong hyung, Dongho hyung.”

Seongwu shook his head before letting out a smile. “It’s okay, we don’t really have problems with the guys there. I’m j—”

“Excuse me, Ong Seongwu,” Jeon Soyeon, one of the organizers of the poetry part of the event, suddenly walked towards the three. She looked at the group. “Am I disrupting something?”

Seongwu shook his head. “Can I help with something?”

Soyeon nodded, informing Seongwu about the setup of the stage for the bands who were about to play in a few minutes. “I’m going to borrow your friend for a while, I’m really sorry. I’ll return him, I promise.” She said, bowing at Dongho, Jinri and Daniel.

“Eh~ stop talking like that.” Seongwu let out a soft chuckle, before looking at the three. He gave his bottle of beer to Dongho before looking at Jinri with an apologetic smile. “I’ll be back, I promise. I’m sorry, I didn’t know things would turn out this way. I even promised to keep you company.”

“It’s okay, go do your thing. I’m fine here with these two.” She took a sip from her drink which she totally ignored before.

After another round of apologies, Seongwu left with Soyeon to deal with the technical difficulties of the band setup.

“Jinri,” Daniel looked at the girl, getting ready for another round of apologies for the previous situation. But before he could, Jinri stuffed his mouth with bread sticks.

“Stop apologizing, it isn’t your fault and I’m not going to repeat myself, okay?”

Daniel nodded slowly, chewing on the bread sticks. He still looked guilty, but chose to just shut up.

“Ooooh, feisty. I like that.” Dongho said with a teasing smile, nudging Jinri gently on the side.

Jinri scrunched her nose, finishing her cup of cocktail. “I have a question though.” She leaned on the wall, standing right beside Daniel who kept on getting the bread sticks from the cup she was holding.

“Go, shoot.” Dongho said nonchalantly.

“I don’t want to be nosy or anything,” Jinri tapped the cup with her fingers, hesitating to ask the question. However, her curiosity is slowly eating her. The fact that both Dongho and Seongwu hesitated when they saw the group of guys with Daniel isn’t something that she could ignore. There must be a concrete reason for their hesitation. If there isn’t something that happened between the groups, Dongho and Seongwu would’ve acted like how Daniel did, and the tension must only be between Jinri and Sanggyun’s friends. “I get the reason for the awkwardness between me and those guys, but what’s with you and them?”

Daniel looked at Dongho, slowly getting curious as well. He was about to get another bread stick from the cup, but Jinri stopped her, telling him to get his own. The boy chuckled softly, apologizing for eating most of the sticks.

Dongho shrugged slightly, looking like he knew something. “You know how drunk people can sometimes get too brave. Something like that.”

Jinri narrowed her eyes at Dongho. “Something’s up, and I can feel that it has something to do with me, Dongho. Or am I just overreacting?”

“Do you really want to know why?” Dongho tilted his head to the side, looking at Jinri with a playful expression.

Jinri and Daniel nodded at the same time, and it made Dongho laugh. “This third wheel is getting curious as well.” He gave Daniel a gentle pat on the arm, chuckling softly.

“I’m part of the conversation as well, hyung.” Daniel said with a shy smile. “I’m the one who made the whole situation awkward after all.”

Jinri nudged Daniel on the side a little too hard, making the boy whine. “How many times am I going to tell you that it isn’t your fault?” Daniel scrunched his nose, pouting slightly as he rubbed his side. “Anyways, what’s the dish?” She looked at Dongho.

“It was around May or June of last year, I think?” Dongho pressed his lips together, looking like he was trying to fish out some memory from the back of his head. “That Sanggyun guy, the one you used to date? We coincidentally went to the pub where he was drinking with his friends. He got really drunk, and started calling Seongwu out of the pub, and when we did come out to check what all the fuss was about, he punched Seongwu in the face, saying he’s the reason why you two broke up.”

Jinri tried to speak, but ended up closing her mouth. She didn’t know that something like that happened, and she felt extremely sorry towards Dongho, especially at Seongwu for being the receiving end of the results of her actions.

“Woah,” Daniel looked at Dongho then at Jinri, looking extremely amazed. “That’s some k-drama shit you got there.”

“Well, aren’t dramas based on real life events?” Dongho said with a slight chuckle as he looked at the pink-haired boy. He then looked at Jinri, waiting for her response.

“Well, damn. I..” Jinri let out a sigh, still trying to compose a decent sentence in her mind. “I’m really sorry for causing all that trouble.”

“Don’t worry about it, we didn’t really take it seriously since the guy was drunk and crying. Taehyun and his friends apologized in his behalf that time. He was too emotional and drunk, we kind of understood. Even so, it still felt a little weird to see them again.” Dongho smiled at Jinri, giving her arm a gentle pat.

Everything was starting to piece together slowly. The reason why Dongho was extremely friendly towards her before was now known, as well as why Seongwu kept on looking at her as if she’s got the answer to something. Some random guy came and punched his friend because of her. Who wouldn’t be curious? If it was her, she would want to know as well. Like what’s the deal and was it worthy to get punched because of a person you don’t even know. It now made sense.

She bit her lower lip, guilt washing through her. She needs to find the right time to apologize to Seongwu about all that, and to Sanggyun as well, even though it was long overdue.

“Is it true though?” Dongho looked at Jinri, his expression slowly turning a little serious.

“What is?”

“That you broke up with that Sanggyun guy because of Seongwu?”

Jinri shook her head. “No. I have my reasons, and Seongwu isn’t one of them.” Instead of correcting Dongho about who broke up with who, she decided to keep it to herself. She doesn’t need to explain her side to everyone. It will only make her seem like she’s defending an irrational action she did in the past.

“Uhm..” Daniel suddenly said, making the two look at him. “Since you two are getting a little serious, I’m going to get some drinks. Do you guys have any request? Beer? Bread sticks?”

Dongho shook his head. “Naaah, I’m fine. You?”

Jinri looked at Daniel and gave her his empty cup of bread sticks. “Since you ate them all, get me some.” She patted his head, smiling slightly.

“Gosh, you treat me like I’m your puppy. Stop patting my head like that.” Daniel tried to avoid Jinri’s hand, but to no success.

“You’re like the puppy I never had, dude.” Jinri stuck her tongue out, chuckling softly as she watched the boy go inside the house to get some food.

After Daniel went inside, the two were silent. They both just watched the program, listening to the current one reciting his piece on the stage.

Jinri needed the silence that time, her mind was a mess. The people from her past and the ones she’s with right now are all getting dragged into the mess she didn’t know she created.

“OH MY GOD I AM SO TIRED.” Jaehwan’s voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts, the boy suddenly coming from inside the house with his guitar on his back. He gave Dongho an acknowledging smile before looking at Jinri, placing an arm around the girl’s shoulder. “What’s up dude? You look like a kicked puppy. Something happened?”

Jinri let out a sigh, leaning her head on Jaehwan’s shoulder. Seeing a familiar face felt like a lot of load was taken off of her shoulder. “Longest night of my life, man.” She looked at him, an eyebrow raised. “Did you take a shower though?”

Jaehwan pushed her away playfully, ruffling his wet hair right across her face. The water droplets were getting to her. “I did, you judgmental shit. Smell my hair, it smells like aloe vera.”

“Ew,” She groaned in disgust, pushing the laughing boy away from her. “No thanks.” Dongho laughed as he watched the two.

“Where’s Minhyun?” Jaehwan looked around.

Jinri shrugged. “I’m not sure, I haven’t seen him yet.”

Jaehwan nodded slowly, taking his phone out of his pocket.

“Jinri, Jinri!” Daniel suddenly came out of the house, holding a bottle of beer on one hand and a cup of bread sticks on the other. He looked so happy and giddy, just like a kid excited to show something for the first time. “I have a surprise for you!”

Jinri looked at the boy as he handed the cup of bread sticks to her. She raised a brow. “What is it this time?”

Daniel’s grin widened, looking at the door. Jinri followed his gaze, a little nervous at who’s going to come out of it.

Jaehwan’s laugh could be heard as soon as Chungha stepped out of the door, followed by a smiling Minhyun, holding a DSLR camera in his hands.

“Surprise!” Chungha said, running excitedly towards Jinri, tackling her in a tight hug.

Jinri was both surprised and happy to see her friend, hugging her as tight. “When did you come back? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I wanted to surprise you, and thanks to Minhyun, it was a success.” Chungha smiled as she looked at Jinri, patting her gently on the back.

Jinri looked at Minhyun, who was now standing beside Jaehwan. “Is that why you didn’t want to come with me earlier?” Minhyun nodded with a smile, giving Chungha a thumbs up.

“I heard what happened from Niel. Are you okay?” Chungha asked, a concerned expression slowly replaced the smile on her face.

Jinri nodded. “Don’t worry about me, we still have a lot to talk about tonight.”

Chungha nodded before looking at Dongho. “Wow, new fac— wait, aren’t you Ong Seongwu’s friend?”

Dongho looked amused at how Chungha identified her, but he nodded nonetheless. “Yes, I’m Ong Seongwu’s friend. I’m Kang Dongho, and it’s nice to meet you.” Dongho offered his hand for a handshake, Chungha shaking his hand with a confused expression.

She glanced at Jinri, mouthing the words _‘spill spill spill’_ before turning to look at Daniel. “And you, are you here to stay? New part of the group? Finally a successful match by Kim Chungha?”

“You talk like you’re drunk already, Chungha.” Jaehwan said with a slight chuckle.

Daniel just shrugged, smiling before he took a sip of his beer.

A few minutes later, Sewoon came running towards where they were and told Jaehwan that they’re up in a few minutes. Dongho also left a few minutes after that, off to find Jonghyun since Jinri’s got company already.

The four went towards the stage, standing beside a lot of people getting ready to sing along with the band. Daniel came along with them, saying that most of his friends went home already or were too busy playing inside. He wanted to watch Jaehwan and the band play, since he only heard Jaehwan hum a few songs during their swimming class.

It turns out that Chungha is back for good, and Minhyun was the one busy filing her documents for late enrollment. Minhyun had to lie to Jinri so he could sneak Chungha in without her noticing; he really didn’t need to go with his org-mates, he just needed an excuse to put his action in plan. He did need to cover the event for the newspaper though.

Jaehwan and the band went up the stage, earning applause from the audience. He stood in front of the mic, adjusting it to his height as the others checked whether their instruments worked.

The band started with the song _Cross My Mind_ by Twin Forks, Jaehwan replacing the whistles with his adlibs. The song was able to hype up the audience, including Minhyun, Daniel, Jinri and Chungha who sang along with Jaehwan. Halfway the song, Minhyun excused himself and told that he’s going to move closer to the stage to get good shots of the performance. During the bridge, Seongwu had a drum solo, followed by Ren and then Sewoon before Jaehwan urged the audience to clap along as he sang the last chorus. The crowd was clapping and singing along to the band, truly enjoying the whole performance.

The next song was _You and I_ by Lady Gaga, a song which allowed Ren and Sewoon to showcase their skills together with Jaehwan’s killer vocals. The crowd was extremely hyped up, singing along to the song even though they didn’t know most of the lyrics.

The band prepared a total of three songs for this event, mostly suggestions from Jaehwan and Sewoon. That was how they ended up singing Jaehwan’s favorite song, _Skyfall_ by Adele. Jaehwan’s version was totally different from the original, especially with Sewoon’s guitar solo accompanying his voice during the first verse.

Jinri smiled, listening to Jaehwan sing his favorite song with all his heart. Finally, Jaehwan was doing the thing he loved, and even though he’s tired from training, he looked like he was having fun.

“Did you see that girl?” Minhyun said, chuckling softly. “She was screaming I love you at Jaehwan!”

“Our friend is famous, OMG. We need to line up.” Chungha then screamed Jaehwan’s name, earning a wink from the boy. “Oh my gosh, he winked at me!” Chungha laughed softly, continuously hyping up Jaehwan as he sang a ballad. The girl didn’t need alcohol to be hyped, she hypes everything up on her own.

Daniel laughed, watching Chungha jump and scream Jaehwan’s name every now and then. “Jaehwan looks so different on stage!” he told Jinri.

“Yeah, he gets all charismatic like that whenever he holds the microphone and his guitar.” Jinri said with a smile, her eyes on the stage.

“Did you know that..” Daniel stopped halfway, looking at Jinri with a playful smile. She looked at him, raising an eyebrow as she waited for the other half of the sentence. “..your eyes twinkle whenever you talk to Seongwu?”

“No, they don’t.” Jinri scrunched her nose, shaking her head slightly. But it did make her wonder whether her eyes really did twinkle whenever she talks to Seongwu or Daniel’s just making fun of her.

Daniel nodded. “It’s true. Your usual resting bitch face looks all smiley even without an actual smile. And piecing all the information I accidentally got from tonight, I’m sorry though, it wasn’t intentional.” Upon hearing the word sorry, Jinri glared at Daniel, mouthing the words _‘don’t even start’_ because it felt like another round of apologies is about to come her way. “I have concluded that you like Seongwu.”

Jinri blinked, a little underwhelmed at what Daniel said. “There’s no use in denying though, after everything you’ve witnessed tonight.”

“And Ong hyung knows. It’s obvious that he’s aware of it.” Daniel said in a matter-of-factly tone before taking a sip of his beer.

“No secrets are safe when you’re friends with these people, Daniel.” Jinri let out a soft chuckle, gesturing at Chungha then at Jaehwan.

The crowd clapped and screamed as soon as the song ended, Chungha leading the cheers of encore.

 _“Wow,”_ Jaehwan looked a little surprised at how loud the screams of encore were. They all looked happy to receive such response from the audience, especially since it’s their first time performing for a school event. _“An encore?”_ He turned to look at the guys, checking whether they were okay with it.

Sewoon started strumming his electric guitar as soon as Jaehwan faced the audience once again. _“Okay, this would really be our last song for the night. I hope you all had a good time. Thank you!”_

The band’s last song was Zayn’s _Pillowtalk,_ a song they never imagined Jaehwan would sing. It gave off a sexy aura, something that Jinri and Chungha wasn’t used to seeing from Jaehwan. It was fun though, since they were able to witness a few scenes they can use to tease Jaehwan in the future.

While the band was playing the last song, Dongho suddenly joined them, since the spot where Jinri, Chungha and Daniel were was a good one. He came with Jonghyun and a sunbae named Aron, who graduated last year and went back for the event, to watch the next set of poets perform their pieces.

After Jaehwan and the guys went down the stage, the MC took over and introduced the next spoken word artist, and it was no other than Kim Sanggyun.

An awkward atmosphere was slowly starting to build around the group due to prior events. Jinri tried to keep a straight face as she focused on the stage, but her façade was shattered when Sanggyun met her gaze. He was fixing the microphone when he saw Jinri.

Kim Sanggyun looked at her with a slight smile; the same warm smile she used to love. He was still the same— the soft gaze and the warm smile. It all came back to her as if it happened yesterday. She was frozen in place, and she doesn’t know whether to look away or not.

 _“Good evening everyone,”_ Sanggyun’s voice echoed from the speakers. _“I’m Kim Sanggyun, and I’m a senior Lit major who’s about to blow your minds. Before I start, I’d like to congratulate the sophomores and the junior Lit majors for an extremely lit event, as well as the Art majors who gave all of us a feast for the eyes. Good job kids!”_ He led the round of applause for the junior Lit and Art majors, the ones in charge of the whole event. _“Okay okay okay okay,”_ Sanggyun said, smiling as he glanced at his phone before looking at the audience once again. _“Let’s start. The first one is called ‘Sanggyun: a concept and a genre’.”_ The crowd laughed after hearing the title. Sanggyun laughed softly, shrugging nonchalantly before starting his first piece.

The crowd was amused at how Sanggyun was able to make it sound as if he wasn’t bragging. He had a witty choice of words, and it was enough to hype the crowd for his next pieces which were different from this one. The crowd clapped after he finished his first piece, giving Sanggyun time to breathe and prepare for his next piece.

 _“Okay, next up is ‘Open Up’.”_ He started his piece with a rhythmic rap about opening doors with different keys and how it fascinated him. His piece was about a comparison of people to doors. _“People are like doors..”_ At first it seemed weird, but it slowly made sense as Sanggyun went on with it.

Jinri felt a sudden wave of nostalgia hit her. The day she found Sanggyun’s journal suddenly came to her mind. Sanggyun has this journal where he writes most of his raps and his poems, and he doesn’t let anyone read it nor touch it— Jinri was an exception though. _Open Up_ was the first poem she read, since the small doodle of doors and people caught her eyes. She remembered how she used to tease Sanggyun about his weird analysis, but when she got to the end of the poem, it did make sense.

A tap on the shoulder pulled Jinri out of her train of thoughts. Jaehwan gave her a knowing look, and she just gave him a nod, assuring him that she’s totally okay. She wasn’t lying though.

 _“No matter how many ‘open the door, please’s, if you’re not the key, you’re not the key.”_ Sanggyun let out a soft sigh, making the audience say _‘awwwwww’,_ before smiling. _“Time to look for my door.”_

Jaehwan was followed by the rest of the band, Seongwu specifically making his way towards Dongho and his other friends. It wasn’t intentional, but he ended up standing right beside Jinri.

Chungha looked at Seongwu then at Jinri. She then gave the girl a look, and Jinri just shook her head while mouthing the words _‘let’s talk later’._

Jinri glanced at Seongwu, and coincidentally, the boy looked at her as well. It was awkward, and all that the two were able to do was let out awkward chuckles before looking at the stage once again.

_“For the last piece, I need to ask you guys a favor. Whenever I say the phrase ‘This won’t do’, I want you guys to say ‘You’re a coward’. I want you guys to scream at me, okay? Get mad, or whatever. Let’s give it a try. One.. two.. three, this won’t do.”_

And the crowd screamed: _“You’re a coward!”_

Sanggyun smiled, pleased with the crowd’s response. _“Alright, let’s get this started.”_ He looked down, as if he was trying to channel all his energy. He cleared his throat and looked at up, and at that moment, he looked at her, the same kind of look she saw the day they broke up.

_“Six months of spring was all that it took  
For me to be left in this endless cycle of winter.” _

Sanggyun let out a sigh, licking his lower lips before he went on. Jinri knows what this poem is all about. It’s the last track from the mixtape Sanggyun gave her before.

 _“People keep on telling me that I must be crazy_  
_For spring only lasts three months_  
_And that winter doesn’t come until December._  
_Ah, my mind’s a mess. This won’t do.”_

 _“Let me ask you all, what is one of the first lessons our moms teach us?”_ Sanggyun encouraged the audience to answer his question. The crowd gave a variety of answers: _‘don’t talk when your mouth is full!’, ‘respect the elderly!’, ‘don’t be noisy in public places!’;_ but Sanggyun was looking for one specific answer.

 _Don’t talk to strangers,_ Jinri thought to herself. That was the answer Sanggyun needed.

 _“Yes, that was the answer I was looking for. Don’t talk to strangers! Thank you, random person, for letting me go on with the rest of the piece.”_ Sanggyun said with a slight chuckle, bowing slightly at the person who gave him the right answer.

_“I believe that every mother in the world_  
_has repeated this over and over again_  
_to her dear, dear child._  
_‘don’t ever talk to a stranger’._  
_But to me, you were no stranger._  
_When I saw you on that cold, January morning_  
_only one thing crossed my mind: “ah, I’m home.”_

_“I don’t usually write about love, but if it’s you_  
_then writing a thousand poems would be nothing._  
_I believe the words in the dictionary aren’t enough_  
_to describe how pretty you are whenever you_  
_look at me with those eyes, those breathtaking eyes_  
_which used to suck all the soul out of me;_  
_drown me in a pool I never thought I’d cross._  
_Just one look, and I know I’m out._  
_Ah, my mind’s a mess. This won’t do.”_

_“With you, it’s like I’m walking on the flower path;_  
_A beautiful, spring day with nothing but you,_  
_just you. Even if it’s in January, or February_  
_or even in December, I can say that_  
_spring has finally come.”_

_“Six months of spring was all that it took_  
_For me to be left in this endless cycle of winter._  
_All good things come to an end, they say._  
_And I wasn’t aware that spring would end so quickly,_  
_so drastically; taking out all the colors from the_  
_painting I was trying to make with you._  
_You were the colors to my black and white palette,_  
_the puzzle piece I know I needed._  
_But no matter how much you shower a person_  
_with all the love they could ever ask for,_  
_if you’re not the one, then you’re not the one._  
_Ah, I feel like I’m going crazy. This won’t do.”_

Unlike before, the response of the crowd wasn’t as loud. Sanggyun let out a soft chuckle, running his fingers through his hair.

In her head, Jinri was reciting the same words Sanggyun says. She remembers all the words, the exact same way Sanggyun said it.

 _“You were my muse. My home._  
_This won’t do; I’m not a coward._  
_But at some point, I realized that probably,_  
_my hand isn’t enough to keep yours warm;_  
_that even though to me it felt like spring,_  
_you’re still in the same, cold spot waiting for_  
_your spring to come._  
_How far do I have to go to get to you?”_  
  
It was the end of the piece. The crowd clapped; Jinri’s group of friends clapping awkwardly, not knowing exactly how to react. Minhyun, who was supposed to take pictures, stopped and looked at Jinri to check how she is at the moment. Jaehwan looked at her, worried that Jinri might break down once again, just like she did six months ago, but there was nothing. She looked blank as she stared at Sanggyun.

Jinri didn’t know how to feel. Her mind’s a mess. _This won’t do._

Just when everyone thought it was the end, Sanggyun cleared his throat. The boy looked at her and gave her a smile— the same smile she saw that exact same day.

_“Exactly one year ago, I told you I love you._  
_And right now, I want to tell you that finally,_  
_I’m able to let you go. I hope so._  
_Looking at you right now, I can say that finally,_  
_you’re home.”_


	13. the 'and'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> winter is ending.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so originally, i was supposed to end the previous chapter like that.  
> bc i really didn't expect much of it, but then heh  
> so i kind of continued it since it might be weird to leave it hanging like that.  
> i tried my best, and this is the best one i came up with
> 
> chapter inspiration: Aftermath by Fromm feat. Minhyun (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RoGNFsrmtvM)  
> this is such a nice song, please listen to it if you feel like it  
> and it kind of explains this chapter a little

 

 

_February 3, 20xx_

_I think I’m in love with you, Jinri._

_**_   
  


 

_Looking at you right now, I can say that finally,  
you’re home.”_

Sanggyun’s adlib caught her off guard, making her feel extremely uncomfortable on the spot. She can feel Dongho, Jonghyun and Aron’s eyes on her, and she can sense that Seongwu knows exactly what everything is about. He seemed like he was trying to make it look like he’s not affected or uncomfortable, but it shows. Daniel was silent beside Jaehwan and Chungha, not knowing whether it would be better for him to leave since the situation’s getting a little out of hand all of a sudden.

Jinri placed her palm on her forehead, a headache slowly building. Whether it’s the effect of her alcohol intake or whatever reasons, she felt like she wanted to hide.

Few people from the crowd looked around the place, trying to figure out which one amongst the sea of people Sanggyun is looking at. However, Sanggyun quickly looked away, expressed how grateful he was for the audience’s attention and participation, and then quickly exited the stage.

“What the actual fuck is that?” Jaehwan seemed like he was trying to control his anger. He didn’t like the fact that Sanggyun placed Jinri in a very awkward position, especially at a place and event like this. It seemed like he was trying to embarass her in public, even though six months have passed already.

Chungha let out a sigh, running her fingers through her hair. “Calm yourself, Jaehwan. It may not be intentional.”

Jaehwan was at a loss for words. No matter how infuriated he was at the moment, there is a possibility that Chungha may be right.

“I’ll go check with the organizers. They probably have a list of the pieces the lit majors were supposed to perform.” Chungha gave Jinri a gentle pat on the shoulder before heading to the control booth, where most of the organizers of the event were.

Jinri let out a sigh for the nth time that night. She felt really embarrassed. Seongwu did nothing wrong yet he’s getting dragged to this drama. It was all her fault, and she felt really guilty.

Not having the confidence to stay close to Seongwu any longer, she decided that she needed some time to think. Alone. Probably to clear her head and re-think about the decisions she made. “I’ll head out for a while, probably get some water for myself or anything. Excuse me.”

Seongwu nodded slowly, watching Jinri as she made her way towards the house.

“I’ll come with you.” Jaehwan held Jinri’s wrist, catching up to her.

She shook her head. “I need to think about a few things alone, Jaehwan. Thanks for the concern though. Just stay here with Chungha, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Jaehwan sighed and nodded, letting her hand go. “Call me if you need me.”

Jinri nodded, leaving Jaehwan and the crowd as she went inside the house again.

All this time, she was okay. She thought she was okay. However, at that exact moment, she felt like it was back to where she started— but due to different reasons. She felt devastated, frustrated and annoyed at herself for causing that much pain to someone like Sanggyun; he didn’t deserve any of this. He didn’t deserve to be stuck at the same place, hurting for a long time when she knew she’s getting better. She knew she was being unfair, and it didn’t feel good.

She didn’t understand why Sanggyun kept on holding onto her like this— there’s nothing special about her. There are others who can give Sanggyun the kind of attention and love she wasn’t able to reciprocate at the right time, and it would be better for him anyways. There’s no use in trying to hold onto something that was gone a long time ago. Living in the memories of your past is never a good choice— it stops you from going forward with your life.

Letting her feet lead the way, she ended up outside the house. A lot of people were sitting on the cold concrete, talking and trying to sober up. Some were just taking a break from all the hype from the inside, and the others were out to smoke a few cigarettes. Jinri made sure to avoid that spot, because it would only make her headache worse. But they were everywhere, and she felt like her nose was blocked with smoke, leaving no room to breathe.

“Here, use this and cover your nose.” When she looked behind her to check who that person is, she felt a little relieved. It was Hyunbin, offering her his handkerchief with a small smile.

She looked at the handkerchief then at Hyunbin, a little hesitant at first.

Hyunbin urged her to take his handkerchief, and the girl had no choice but to do so.

Taking the handkerchief from Hyunbin, she sat on the pavement and covered her nose, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “What are you doing here?”

“Taking a walk after sending Eunwoo home.” Hyunbin nodded slowly, looking at her. “What are you doing out here?” He took a seat beside her, opening his can of beer before taking a sip. “The party’s inside, why are you staying out here when you know a lot of people in here smoke?”

“It’s suffocating inside.” Jinri answered softly, her eyes still closed.

“So instead of staying inside where your nose might feel more comfortable, you just chose to stay here and inhale all the lung cancer causes around the area?” Hyunbin said with a slight chuckle. “You’re really weird.”

“And a flashback of how we met is starting once again.” Jinri opened her eyes, looking at Hyunbin. Memories of their really awkward blind date were suddenly flashing in her mind, and it felt like it was the same for Hyunbin as well since he ended up laughing.

“You know, sometimes I keep on wondering whether meeting you was a good thing or not.” Hyunbin said, his tone slowly getting serious as he stared at the cold can of beer in his hands. If it wasn’t for him, Jinri and Sanggyun couldn’t have met.

It was also in January, only a few days after the really awkward blind date with no romantic connection at all. Jinri was buying her cup of coffee at the coffee shop across the university when Sanggyun and Hyunbin came in. She was waiting for her drink when Hyunbin greeted her, bowing at her before making his way towards the line with Sanggyun. Just like what he said in his poem, Jinri caught Sanggyun’s eyes at that moment. He ended up buying her a slice of blueberry cheesecake (a suggestion from Hyunbin since the girl ate her slice of blueberry cheesecake heartily during their blind date), and ended up getting her number from Hyunbin.

Jinri nodded slowly, hugging her knees close and leaning her chin on it. “How’s _he_ doing?”

Hyunbin shrugged slightly. “He’s getting by. Better than the first months if you ask me.”

“I’m sorry,” was all that she could think of.

Hyunbin shook his head. “It’s not your fault. It’s no one’s fault if you ask me. I mean, it’s normal. Not all relationships work. It’s a two-way street. You’re both supposed to make each ends meet, not just one way or the other. It just didn’t work for you two, and it isn’t your fault that you’re handling the break up better than Sanggyun.”

“I loved him, believe me.”

“I know you did. We all know you did.” Hyunbin nodded slowly, finishing up all the beer in the can. “It just wasn’t enough. You made him happy, but he doesn’t make you happy the way you do to him. It was better that he actually figured it out earlier. It could’ve gotten worse.”

Jinri let out a sigh, nodding slowly. She understood what Hyunbin meant. If the short time they spent together had this much impact on Sanggyun, not being able to realize things earlier would cause him more pain. At first, she didn’t understand why he decided to end it; but as time passed by, she understood. Loving someone is one thing, however, loving someone enough to make a special kind of connection is another. It was her who slowly wrecked their relationship from the start.

“Please tell him I’m sorry.” Jinri looked at Hyunbin, giving his handkerchief back as she stood up.

Hyunbin looked at her as he took the handkerchief back, shaking his head slightly with a small smile. “Naaah. It’ll mess his mind up. He’s been doing really well until tonight. Just pretend you didn’t see me here.”

Jinri nodded slowly, placing her hands inside the pockets of her jacket. “I guess I’ll see you around.”

Hyunbin nodded, waving at the girl as she walked towards the house once again.

If it wasn’t for Hyunbin and their little talk, Jinri would’ve ended up talking to Sanggyun and apologizing once again. It wasn’t the best choice though. Maybe leaving him alone to deal with it would be a better choice than trying to make him understand something that she doesn’t even understand either.

This night might be the longest night of her life to date, and she isn’t even drunk yet. When she agreed to come to this art exhibit, she expected a really chill night where she can just watch and support Jaehwan with his band. Instead, it felt like she was continuously being shoved into the lairs of her past, unraveling all the pieces of it she didn’t know existed. It was exhausting, if you ask her. And if only the ground could eat her alive at the moment so that she wouldn’t have to face all this, she would happily jump into the hole and let the ground save her from all this.

As she made her way inside the house once again, she noticed that the people inside has already decreased. The night is getting deeper, and the people are getting drunker. The exhibit is already closed, the art majors closely guarding the stairs to stop any drunk person from going upstairs and destroying their months’ worth of work. The beer pong table is now left alone, since most of the people who used to play already went home or are outside trying to sober up.

She decided to head to the restroom to wash her face and fix herself before getting back to where her friends are. She was aware of the fact that the smell of the cigarette smoke probably stuck to her hair, so she’d just try to wash it off and probably spray some perfume on herself.

As if the universe is trying to mock her at the moment, she saw Seongwu and Heehyun right in front of the mirror; Seongwu leaning his back on the door of the men’s restroom with Heehyun standing really close to him. The two looked serious, and it seemed like Seongwu was trying his best to speak as calmly as he could.

Jinri couldn’t help but stare. Are Seongwu and Heehyun talking about getting back together again? She couldn’t help but wonder. If it was on a normal day, a lot of thoughts would’ve probably entered her mind. But today’s different— she was too tired of everything to even think about it.

She stopped at where she is, trying her best to blend in with the crowd so the two wouldn’t notice her. She couldn’t handle another round of awkwardness for the night, she’s had her share already. Everyone has their own set of baggage from the past, and it’s not like Seongwu has a perfectly clean slate. He has his own shit to deal with, and Jinri has hers.

She didn’t want anything to do with anyone at the moment. She felt so tired, exhausted— physically and mentally. All that she wanted at the moment was peace of mind, and if she saw nor talked to Seongwu or anyone related to him and Sanggyun on her way back to where Jaehwan and the gang were, she knows she’s probably going to flip.

That’s when she decided that it’s time to end the night. It was a very eventful three hours. She’s had too much.

_Fuck this, I’m out._

 

**

 

_February 7, 20xx_

_Let’s try to make it work, Jinri._

 

 

\--

 

“So you’re really not going to tell me what happened after you just disappeared that night?” Minhyun asked in a soft voice, balancing the stack of books on his hands as he followed Jinri through the tall shelves of books in their university’s main library.

“Mm?” Jinri browsed through the thick book of communication theories she’s holding. She looked at Minhyun after closing the book, taking the two others she placed on the shelf together with the one she’s holding. “What were you saying?”

“I’m asking you why you left that night without telling us.” Minhyun rested his chin on top of the stack of books he’s holding, looking at Jinri as he waited for her answer.

Without notifying anyone, Jinri went home that night after seeing Seongwu and Heehyun in the restroom area. Hyunbin was surprised to see her outside once again, but the guy ended up helping her hail a cab so she could go home. He even took note of the plate number and asked Jinri to send him a text when she gets home since it’s late and it’s dangerous for a girl to go home alone.

When Jinri got home, she turned off her phone and placed it inside her drawer, not bothering to turn it on until this morning. She was welcomed by forty missed calls— twenty of it from Jaehwan, and the other twenty from Minhyun and Chungha; fifty one messages— mostly _where are you’s_ from the three since they weren’t aware that Jinri already left. Jaehwan and Minhyun were panicking, and upon seeing this, Hyunbin came to them, telling them not to worry since Jinri went home already. Chungha just had to call Jisung and confirm.

At first, she thought that the three would be mad at her; but surprisingly, they weren’t. Chungha was just glad that she was safe, and told her to talk about what happened when she feels like it (which is something that Jinri doubts would happen); Minhyun was calm, but ended up scolding her for being careless and not thinking about what her actions would result to, and Jaehwan just told her _‘if you want to talk about it, just come to me’_ before he went back to his usual self.

It’s been four days ever since the art exhibit, and Jinri hasn’t talked to Seongwu or Daniel or even Dongho and his friends. During their media studies class, it feels like nothing’s changed but something was really off— Daniel was unusually quiet and not talkative and Seongwu was still the ‘same’, giving her small smiles whenever their gazes meet. Dongho was the only normal one— he was still consistent with his overly-friendly personality, actively saying hi to Jinri whenever he sees her around campus.

“I was just really exhausted. I’m sorry.” Jinri stared at the back of the book, chewing on her lower lip. She wasn’t lying though; she was physically and mentally exhausted due to all that happened that night. However, she chose to leave out what made her burst. She didn’t want to bother Minhyun with her problem.

“Still, you should’ve told us. We were worried since you just disappeared without a trace. If it wasn’t for Hyunbin, we wouldn’t have known that you left. We might’ve assumed you were kidnapped or something.”

Jinri nodded slowly. “I know. I was an ass that night, I’m really sorry. I just wanted some time to think, I didn’t know it would cause that much trouble.”

“We get it, Jin. You need time to think. But at least, tell us if you’re leaving like that because we get worried. It was late and we don’t know where you are. We’re your friends, and we’d understand if you needed time. I’m your friend, but at times like this I just want to punch you in the face for not using that fat brain of yours.”

She let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head in amusement. Minhyun smiled as well, following her as she made her way through the shelves.

Today marked the start of Jaehwan and Jinri’s partnership for the thesis. The two, finally deciding to be good students and actually start on their thesis, decided to stay in the library and utilize the books provided by the university. They had been continuously reading and re-reading Jaehwan’s work. Jinri has been reading a lot on the topic, and continuously editing Jaehwan’s work to improve its form, as well as to input her insights on the topic. Minhyun and Chungha decided to tag along with the thesis partners since he also needed to go to the library for his own thesis and the girl had to make up for all the school works she missed in the past month.

“What time are you coming home?” Minhyun asked in a soft voice, yawning afterwards.

“What time is it?” Jinri placed the book she was holding on top of the books on the shelf before looking at Minhyun.

Minhyun tried his best to look at his wrist watch, but due to the stack of thick books he was holding, he wasn’t able to. So he just shrugged. “I don’t know, but I think it’s almost nine, and we haven’t had dinner yet. Chungha’s probably sleeping in there instead of doing her work.”

Just like what Minhyun said, it was almost nine in the evening already. Only the three were left in the library, since Jaehwan had to leave a few hours ago for his soccer training. The three haven’t had dinner yet, and only had a few candies and drinks from the small vending machine at the library’s lobby. After almost five hours in the library (their classes ended at four in the afternoon, and Jaehwan’s soccer training started at six), Minhyun is finally getting hungry.

Jinri placed the book she was holding before on its proper place. “Let’s get out of here and have dinner before going home?”

Minhyun nodded, leaning his chin on the books. “Let’s call it a day. I feel suffocated in here already.”

She nodded, taking half of the books from Minhyun. They went back to their seats, and Minhyun was right: Chungha did fall asleep while working on her script. After waking her up, the three finally decided to wrap everything up and call it a day.  Minhyun was busy fixing up and saving his draft, Chungha was trying to wake herself up so she could do the finishing touches on her script while Jinri divided the books into two stacks: the ones she would borrow and the ones she would return. After making up her mind, Jinri went to bring the books she wouldn’t need back to their respective shelves, while Minhyun and Chungha went ahead to get their bags, bringing Jinri’s laptop with them as well.

Even though it was late, the library was still filled with people. Only few desks were empty, and a lot of books were stacked on the small desk on the side, the place where people lazy enough to return the books place them. Jinri felt a little sleepy and wanted to wake herself up so she chose to be a better person and return the books herself.

“Why are you carrying so many books?” A familiar voice pulled Jinri out of her thoughts, looking up at the person suddenly standing beside her.

Kim Sanggyun looked at her with a slight smile, gesturing at the stack of thick books she was holding.

Jinri felt nervous the moment their eyes met. He was still the same— the soft gaze, the warm smile, the familiar feeling of him standing beside her all came back as if all of it happened yesterday. Unlike the sad smile he had a few days ago, he looked a little brighter and better.

“Let me help you with that.” Without Jinri’s permission, Sanggyun took the books from her and went behind the library’s book check out counter.

“Oppa..” Jinri didn’t know what to say. She doesn’t know how to act after the incident last Saturday.

“Mm?” Sanggyun didn’t look at her as he checked the books one by one. He seemed okay, as if nothing happened a few days ago.

Finally able to calm herself down and arrange her thoughts, Jinri looked at Sanggyun. “Do you work here?”

Sanggyun nodded slowly. “Mm. I work here part-time since I have a lot of free time this semester.”

“Are you graduating on June?”

“Fortunately, yes. I am graduating on June.” Sanggyun took out the library card of each book, marking them with the specific dates before scanning them with the machine. “You had your hair cut? It suits you.”

“You too. Your hair’s short now.”

“My hair was getting in the way, so I had it cut.” Sanggyun let out a soft chuckle. “Give me your ID, I need to scan it.”

Jinri took out her wallet from the pocket of her coat, fishing out her ID which was only useful at times like this. She handed it to Sanggyun, her palms a little sweaty and her hands shaking slightly. The last time she felt like this was when Sanggyun confessed, and boy, did all the memories come back from there.

“Have you been skipping your meals and only drinking coffee?” Sanggyun gave her ID back and glanced at her as he stacked the books neatly. “Got no one to eat with? Jisung hyung must be busy these days.”

Sanggyun has always been the observant type. If other boys wouldn’t notice whatever is new with a girl, Sanggyun’s always the first one to point it out. He was the perfect man; too bad she wasted him and his efforts and broke his heart.

“These books are heavy. I’ll lend you a bag. Just leave it here in the library counter after you use it.” Sanggyun took out a folded tote bag from his backpack which was on the chair behind him, placing the books carefully inside it. “Minhyun’s outside, right? Ask him to carry this for you since your shoulder might hurt after carrying this for so long.” 

Jinri was slightly taken aback at how Sanggyun still remembers her habits. All of sudden, guilt washed all through her. And at that same moment, she finally understood what _exactly_ the problem was: she felt lacking when she was with Sanggyun.

The boy is too perfect, and perfect doesn’t really appeal to her. He felt unreal, like a character out of the romance books she read when she was in high school. He didn’t get mad when she wasn’t able to answer his calls, he was too understanding and nice for his own good. Jinri didn’t want someone who’s perfect— she wants someone as human as her; someone who would make small mistakes every now and then like not even noticing her new shirt, someone who would get mad at her when she doesn’t answer his calls. It was her problem after all, not his. It really was her fault.

“I’ll walk you out.” Sanggyun held the bag of books tightly. Jinri refused, but Sanggyun insisted to do it. After asking for permission from the head librarian, he walked with Jinri out of the library.

The short distance between the counter and the library lobby felt longer than usual. The silence was awkward; Jinri swore she could hear the sound of her wrist watch ticking.

“About last Saturday,” Sanggyun was the one who broke the silence. Jinri looked at him, waiting for what he’s going to say next. “I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable because of my piece. I prepared it not knowing you would be there.”

Jinri nodded slowly. She knows that Sanggyun isn’t the type of person who would do that intentionally. “I know, oppa. Don’t worry about it. It’s really okay.”

“So..” he started, looking a little hesitant at first.

“Mm?” She had a hunch of what he might be saying after, but maybe, she might be wrong.

“You and Seongwu.” Sanggyun said softly, almost sounding like a whisper.

_I was right._ “We’re not a thing, nothing’s going on.”

 “I didn’t say anything about it yet.”

“And I know you will, knowing you.” Jinri smiled slightly, looking at the guy with the slightly red ears. “I just want to let you know that you’re perfect, and someday, you’ll find someone who could kick me in the ass for hurting you.”

Sanggyun let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “I hope she’d kick your ass real good.”

“I know she will.” Upon reaching the lobby, Jinri took the bag of books from Sanggyun. She looked at him, her eyes immediately noticing Sanggyun’s necklace— the ring she gave him on his birthday hanging on it. “I ne—”

Before she could finish her sentence, Sanggyun suddenly wrapped his arms around her, hugging her as tightly as he could. “Just give me a few seconds, Jin. I really miss you.” It was almost a whisper.

Jinri was surprised, but she just nodded slowly, patting Sanggyun’s back gently. Hyunbin was right— meeting him would do him no good. If only she could do something to make him feel better, to make him forget all about her so he could start anew. “You’ll be okay, oppa. Even without me.”

Sanggyun nodded slowly, letting her go. “I know. I just needed this— this last moment.”

Jinri didn’t know what to say; she pressed her lips together as she looked at the ground. She knows that whatever she says at the moment wouldn’t be enough to comfort him.

“I saw the way you looked at him, and I want you to be happy.” Sanggyun tried his best to smile as he ruffled her hair, something that he liked to do when they were still together.

“Oppa I’m s—”

“I hope I don’t see you ever again,” Sanggyun rubbed his nape, looking away. “I want to be happy as well, that is why I’m going to let you go.”

And with that, Sanggyun left.


	14. not really good with words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's valentine's day, and Jinri does something she never thought she can ever do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so this chapter took a really long time. a lot of things came up, sorry.  
> already working on the next chapter, i'll try to finish it quickly.  
> i met wanna one heeeeh daniel in specs got me so shook  
> if you want to read my fanmeet thread, here it is: https://twitter.com/goblinniel/status/919151475195985920  
> thank you for the comments and the kudos, i really appreciate it!

February 14th— one of the most dreaded days for single people. To most, it’s considered the day where you get showered with love and affection, whether it is from your special someone or from a bunch of people who admires you. But for single people like Jinri, going out on Valentine’s day alone felt like torture: seeing couples here and there, different heart-shaped decorations at each corner of town, and just endless repetitions of the phrase _‘why the hell are you still single something must be wrong with you’_ inside the head.

Jinri was the epitome of the meme which sprayed bug sprays on hearts— if only she could pop all the heart shaped balloons she’ll come across, she might have done it. There’s no use to denying the fact that she’s a little bitter— well, who isn’t? It seemed like that specific day in the calendar reminds her that while others are enjoying their time in a couple, there’s a probability that she might just die alone.

“Come on, be a little more positive, Jin.” Chungha continuously nudged Jinri on the side gently as the two walked out of the lecture hall together. She was all smiles as she tried to cheer her sleep-deprived friend up. “It’s Valentine’s day, be happy!”

Jinri wasn’t really in the mood to be ‘happy’ that day. She spent the night before working on the script of the short film they were supposed to work on next week since it still needs editing and approval from her groupmates and the professor. She looked at Chungha with a grimace, raising her eyebrow afterwards. “Were you finally able to sneak in a bottle of soju in class?”

Chungha shook her head, chuckling softly as she hooked her arm with. “No! I don’t go to class drunk, excuse me.”

“Let me guess,” Jinri tapped her chin with her free hand. “You have a date today?”

Chungha shook her head quickly, a small smile escaping her lips. “My parents are arriving today. They’re staying here for two weeks.”

“Oh my gosh, that’s good news!” Jinri gave her friend a tight hug, patting her on the back gently. It’s been long since Chungha visited her parents in the US, and Jinri knew how much Chungha misses them. The girl may seem bright and tough on the outside, but she’s been doing everything to fight the urge to just give in to her homesickness and go back to the States where her family is.

“I know! Oh, and they want to meet you guys too. So tell me when you’re free, I’ll ask Minhyun and Jaehwan as well so I could schedule it.” Chungha said with a smile as she took her phone out of her pocket. “I’m g—”

“Who the hell gave you the right to leave me there while I was talking to the professor?” Jaehwan suddenly appeared out behind them, squeezing himself in between the two girls. He placed an arm around on both, glancing at Jinri then at Chungha with a smile. “It’s valentine’s day, do you guys have something for me?”

Jinri and Chungha both shook their heads. “Nope.” They said in chorus, making Jaehwan purse his lips, nodding slowly.

“Alright, you didn’t have to be that mean.” Jaehwan ruffled Chungha’s hair while he pulled on Jinri’s cheek hard with his other hand. With this, Jaehwan earned a groan and an exclusive meeting with Jinri’s palm. As usual, Jaehwan’s reactions were a little exaggerated, a series of _‘ew your hand tastes like shit’_ and _‘how dare you touch me with those dirty hand of yours’_ filled their short walk towards the university’s parking lot, where they were supposed to meet Minhyun.

During specific events in their university, the Society of the Visual Arts members are given the permission to draw on the parking lot using colorful chalks. It has already been a tradition by the organization and every year, they fill the university with colorful artworks which serves as stress relivers for the students who spend a lot of stime studying. Minhyun, being the EIC of the campus newspaper, headed there first to cover the event and take pictures which can be used as fillers for the first newspaper of the semester.

“I didn’t expect you to write it this way,” Jaehwan nodded slowly, browsing through the hard copy of the script Jinri made the night before. It took her a lot of time to brainstorm since writing a script for a short film in the erotica genre is a little hard, since it has to be artsy and not slutty. Jinri had to admit that it was one of the hardest scripts to write, especially for someone like her who has only experienced kisses and nothing else.

While they were walking, Jaehwan asked for the copy of the script so that he could browse through it and check whether he can help in any way. Besides, he was the one in charge of editing the video— he needed to have an idea of what it is about so he could think of ways on how to put the clips they would gather together. “This is subtle and sensual. Good.”

“I don’t want it to be explicitly erotic. That would be porn, not erotica.” Jinri nodded slowly, crossing her arms as they made their way towards the crowd forming in the parking lot. Minhyun was probably near the art majors since he needed to document the activity, and Chungha had to leave and head straight to the airport to pick her parents up.

“Good job though. I didn’t think of it this way.” Jaehwan handed the script back to Jinri before looking around. The art majors were too busy with their artwork, and the crowd was too busy taking pictures and probably uploading them to different social networking sites.

It was not really a surprise to see Seongwu there. He was in the middle of the parking lot, holding a pink piece of chalk, working on the big portrait of a woman with pink hair. Every year, he participated in this specific activity and Jinri liked watching him draw. He was all smiles, and he looked like he was genuinely having fun even though his hand is filled with colorful chalk dust.

“Jin! Jaehwan!” Minhyun called from across the parking lot. He waved at the two with his free hand, holding his camera with the other.

Jinri waved at the guy back before gesturing for him to come closer. Jaehwan was too busy adjusting his guitar strap to even wave back at Minhyun, but gave him a nod instead.

Upon hearing Minhyun’s voice, Seongwu looked up as well and started looking around. He smiled as soon as he spotted Jaehwan and Jinri, waving at the two before getting back to his work.

Jinri was able to smile slightly, waving at Seongwu before placing her hand back inside her pocket.

Being this close to Seongwu was something she never expected to happen. Jinri from last year would have never imagined being the person who waves back at Seongwu, getting a little friendly with the guy who makes her feel butterflies in her stomach. Not that she was trying her best to keep her distance (who is she kidding though), but she just had things that are so much more important than falling in love on her plate. Whether it was the work of Jaehwan, or Dongho or the universe, she was somehow thankful. At the moment, Seongwu is more than just a pretty face— from being a pretty 2D character in her head, he was slowly turning into a 3D version of his self, due to the different sides of his she was able to see.

She glanced at Jaehwan, who was busy texting, before taking out a small chocolate bar from her pocket. She tapped Jaehwan on the arm with the chocolate bar as she cleared her throat. “Here.”

Jaehwan looked at her then at the chocolate bar she was holding before letting out a big smile— the kind of smile Jinri knew came before endless teasings. “Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.”

“Don’t make it a big deal, you shit. I also have one for Minhyun as well.” Jinri gave Jaehwan the chocolate bar before punching him on the arm. “Don’t act so surprised, I do this every year!”

“And I love teasing you every year for doing it.” Jaehwan grinned and pinched Jinri’s cheek, pulling on it as tightly as he could. Jinri whined and punched Jaehwan on the stomach instead, but her punch was not that powerful so it only made the boy take a step back while laughing.

“What’s up?” Minhyun said with a smile as soon as he reached the two. He looked at Jinri who was busy glaring at Jaehwan, and the latter laughing loudly while holding his bar of chocolate. “Where’s mine?”

“See? Minhyun takes it like a normal person. Can’t you do the same?” Jinri’s cheeks were a little red out of embarrassment, which she tried to hide with the help of her hoodie. She held the sides of the hood together to cover her cheeks while she took out the other bar from her pocket to give it to Minhyun.

“Oh, right.” Jaehwan said as he unwrapped the chocolate bar, glancing at Jinri. “Are you planning on giving him one this year?” He then looked at Seongwu before looking back at the girl.

Jinri shook her head, crossing her arms across her chest. “Nope.”

“Why not?” Minhyun asked before taking a bite of his chocolate bar.

She shrugged slightly. “I don’t know. I think it would be weird.”

In the past years, she used to give Seongwu chocolates (Jaehwan was her messenger), but now that she knew the boy personally, it was a little different. Before, she was just a faceless stranger who doesn’t come close and just gives him chocolates on valentine’s day and peppero boxes on peppero day. At the moment, she was that person who made Seongwu uncomfortable due to her reckless actions in the past. Giving him chocolates would make the situation so much worse than it already is.

Jaehwan nodded slowly, eating the last bite of the chocolate before placing the wrapper inside his pocket. “Well, if you’re not planning on giving him a chocolate today, let’s get going because I’m going to be late.”

 

 

Jinri has never imagined herself to be out for dinner with four guys on Valentine’s day. For others, it might be a dream, or a fantasy, but to her, it was an uncomfortable dinner she would want to get out of as soon as possible.

“I thought we’re the only ones going?” Jinri was close to punching Jaehwan on the gut for not telling her that both Daniel and Seongwu were coming along to the ddeokbeokki place with them.

After fetching Minhyun from the parking lot, the three then headed to the mall a few blocks away from their university since Jaehwan and Sewoon planned to go busking that day. Daniel and Seongwu came to to watch, and kind of ended up coming along to the ddeokbeokki place Jaehwan, Jinri and Minhyun always goes to across the university. Sewoon went home as soon as they were done busking, saying that he needed to work on a paper due the next day (but Jaehwan kept on insisting that the boy was going to a date).

After the art exhibit, Jinri found it hard to talk to Seongwu normally. Waving to Seongwu from afar was okay, but then having to eat dinner with him isn’t. It’s such a close proximity that Jinri was not prepared of. If before her only problem was how to talk to Seongwu like an actual human being, at the moment she worries about talking to Seongwu in general after what happened. She keeps on thinking of different ways on how to apologize to the boy for the unnecessary drama he got caught into without knowing, but all of them would only result to more awkwardness. She was planning to talk to Jaehwan and Minhyun about it that day, but then it seems like that talk would be saved for another day.

“Seongwu said he wanted to come when I told him we were going to eat ramen and ddeokbeokki. As for Daniel, he usually just goes wherever Seongwu goes.” Jaehwan said with a shrug, taking out a few bills from his wallet to pay for their order. “Even though they just met this semester, they really click and are always together. I feel like their third wheel sometimes. That’s why I brought you and Minhyun with me, so that I won’t feel as lonely.”

“I have some things to talk about with you two privately though.” Jinri let out a soft sigh, handing Jaehwan her share for the payment.

“Tell me now.” Jaehwan nodded, looking at her.

“Do our occasional serious talks last for five minutes?” Jinri raised a brow, crossing her arms as she looked at the boy who looked at her innocently.

“Eh, sorry.” Jaehwan nudged her gently. “You should’ve told me then.”

“How am I supposed to tell you when Daniel and Seongwu are right there beside you? We really are friends, we don’t really use our brains when necessary.” Jinri shook her head, heading towards the table where the chopsticks and glasses were. She took one for each of them, holding them carefully with a piece of tissue (if it was only her, Minhyun and Jaehwan she wouldn’t even bother using a tissue).

Jaehwan walked towards her, holding the tray of ddeokbeokki carefully while gesturing for Jinri to to get some spoons as well.

Minhyun was seated comfortably on the seat at the left side of the table, leaving the seats beside Daniel and Seongwu empty. Jinri sat beside Daniel, leaving the seat next to Seongwu for Jaehwan.

“Do you know what’s the solution to your problem?” Daniel said, holding Seongwu’s phone with his left hand. Seongwu looked defeated, rubbing his face with his hands.

“Why?” Jaehwan placed the tray of food on the table as he sat on the table. Jinri then placed the bowls on the table while Jaehwan distributed the utensils. “What’s his problem?”

“Ki Heehyun.” Minhyun said with a slight chuckle as he stood up, heading towards where the bottles of water were. He came back a few minutes later, holding a cold pitcher of water and a stack of silver cups.

“Still?” Jaehwan looked at Seongwu, a little amused. “Thought you ended it with her already?”

“I did. Last December.” Seongwu ran a hand through his hair out of frustration.

“And she’s still bothering you?” Jaehwan handed each cup to Jinri, the girl filling each cup with water carefully before placing it near evehryone’s bowl. She was just listening quietly to the  conversation since she’s not directly a part of it.

“Just buy a new phone and change your number.” Daniel placed Seongwu’s phone on the table, nodding slowly.

“I can’t. I don’t have enough money. I still need to buy the materials I need for my midterms project.” Seongwu took his chopsticks and started eating his ramen. “To be honest, I’m getting really tired of it.”

“You’re getting tired of it yet you keep on answering her calls?” Daniel said, shaking his head in amusement as he ate a piece of ddeobeokki. “I don’t understand you, hyung.”

“What if she’s in trouble? I can’t just leave her like that.”

“But she’s not, so stop answering her calls, alright?” Daniel said in a matter-of-factly tone, using his chopsticks to point at Seongwu. “You’re the one who’s getting in trouble because of her.”

“Just block her already.” Jaehwan said, chewing slowly on the noodles.

Daniel nodded. “I told you. Just block her. She’s bothering you and it’s not healthy anymore, hyung. I saw how she tried to corner you and talk last Saturday, and she’s scary.” Daniel shuddered at the thought of Heehyun, gently rubbing his arm before drinking some water. He glanced at Jinri before looking at his drink.

Jinri raised a brow, glancing at Daniel. So something was really up that Saturday, it wasn’t just a hunch.

“Why did you guys even break up in the first place?” Jaehwan glanced at Seongwu, trying to steal some of Jinri’s cheese ddeokbeokki. Jinri glared at Jaehwan, blocking his chopsticks with hers. Even after the bickering, she ended up letting Jaehwan eat some of the ddeokbeokki since there’s no stopping this guy.

“It’s complicated.” Seongwu let out a soft sigh as he placed his chopsticks on his bowl. “To keep the story short, she cheated on me two or three times? I’m not really sure, I got tired of keeping track.” He held his cup of water, taking a few sips before eating once again.

“Why did you even date her?” Daniel asked curiously, offering some of his ddeokbeokki to Seongwu.

“Just because people are messed up in ways we don’t understand doesn’t mean they’re not worthy of being loved, Niel.” Seongwu scrunched his nose, taking a piece of ddeokbeokki.

Daniel nodded slowly, his lips forming a small o-shape as he nodded. “Then how did you meet her? Her building’s far away, meeting her in campus seems so unlikely.”

Jaehwan looked at Jinri, mouthing the words _‘see, I told you I feel like the third wheel’._ Jinri shook her head in amusement. If he felt like the third wheel, then why does he keep on joining them at times like this? To her, it didn’t seem like Jaehwan was the third wheel. If someone has to feel like a third wheel at the moment, then it’s her.

“Met her at a party.” Seongwu answered, chewing his food slowly.

“And people say you don’t date people you meet at parties and clubs and bars.” Jaehwan said, nudging Seongwu gently on the arm.

“Eh, not all people you meet at parties are bad. Am I right, Jinri?” Daniel looked at Jinri with a wide smile, nudging her gently on the arm.

Jinri looked at Daniel, a little amused at how brightly the boy was smiling at her. Finally, she was part of the conversation. She nodded then patted his head gently. “Mm. You’re right.”

Daniel scrunched his nose. “You’re back to treating me like a puppy again.”

“You’re like a big puppy though.” Seongwu glanced at Jinri then looked at Daniel, smiling as he held his bowl of ramen to drink some soup.

“But seriously, block her hyung.” Daniel said with a nod. “Right, Jinri? If it was you, what would you do?”

All pairs of eyes were suddenly on her, and it felt like she was in a hot seat. At that moment, she felt like she wanted to kick Daniel on the sheen for asking her that question, but the boy looked like he meant no harm. He was looking at Jinri with such innocent eyes, you won’t even be able to think that he did this intentionally. He just wanted to hear someone else’s side, and probably persuade Seongwu with it if they had the same sentiments.

She cleared her throat as she tried to come up with the most sensible answer she could at the moment. It was a little nerve-wracking, probably made her more anxious than the time she was interviewed for her thesis proposal.

“People break up for a reason,” she started, almost regretting what she said. _How could you state the freaking obvious, Jinri?_ “If you’re the one who decided to end things, you need to stand by it. You won’t just say ‘let’s break up’ just because you feel like saying it, right? You probably got tired of the same old thing happening over and over again. But why are you still letting her run you over like this? If you really want to move on, live your life without that person, then you must cut whatever ties you have with them. It’s the only way.”

Seongwu looked at her in the eyes, making her feel a little uncomfortable. His expression looked more serious than before. “Should I really end it this way?”

Jinri blinked, feeling a little flustered at the way Seongwu looked at her (in addition to the three pairs of eyes looking at her ever since Daniel decided to give her the spotlight). “Well, if you think you love her enough to get through all her shits in life, then don’t. But then there’s no guarantee that she’s going to change for you. We all have our own baggage, and if you’re sure you two can make it work, then good. We can only hope for the best. But then, if you’re too tired of it all, there’s nothing wrong with letting go. It’s not bad to think of yourself first every once in a while.”

After a few seconds of complete and somehow awkward silence, Seongwu pressed his lips together and nodded slowly. “Mm. I’ll think about it.”

“See? We all think the same.” Daniel nodded, chewing slowly.

Minhyun shook his head slowly, looking at Jinri then at Seongwu. “Well, not really. She actually gave him a choice.”

Jinri shrugged slightly, poking her food with the chopsticks gently. “It’s not something that you, or me or anyone else in the world can make him do. It’s a decision that he has to make.” She then looked at Daniel, who’s tapping his chopsticks on the cup he was holding. He looked like an innocent five-year-old trying to process what his mom just told him.

From the looks of it, this was what Jinri was able to conclude: Seongwu has a problematic ex-girlfriend who keeps on bothering him (probably asking him to get back together but he doesn’t want to), however, she still had a soft spot within him that’s why he can’t just drop her like that. Daniel seems to look at the situation in a single point of view— the end means the end. It just showed her how innocent Daniel is, he probably hasn’t experienced much bitterness in love and life to have that kind of view, and Jaehwan, among the three, was the most carefree and just usually goes with the flow. Minhyun and her were like the audience of a show being asked for feedback every once in a while.

“Eh~” Jaehwan let out a soft chuckle, patting Seongwu on the arm gently as he stood up from his seat. “Why are we getting serious all of a sudden? Alright, alright. I’m getting some cola, do you guys want some?”

“I’m coming with you. I still feel a little hungry.” Minhyun stood up, taking out a few bills from his wallet before placing it back inside his backpack.

“Coffee for me.” Jinri took out her wallet from her bag, but before she could get a few bills from it, Jaehwan hit her on the head with his wallet. She glared at him as she continuously rubbed her forehead, getting ready to hit him back with her wallet. “What the hell is that for?”

Daniel and Seongwu ended up laughing as they watched the two bicker in front of them. Seongwu has only heard of this kind of interaction from Dongho so seeing it in actuality kind of entertained him. Daniel, on the other hand, was laughing while clapping his hands like a seal. Minhyun sees it almost on a daily basis, so his only reaction was to shake his head in amusement.

“You and your caffeine addiction. You already had coffee this morning! If you drink one more cup your chest’s going to hurt again.” Jaehwan hit her on the head with his wallet once again, before heading to the counter with Minhyun to buy some drinks other than water. Daniel stood up as well, excusing himself before heading to the restroom.

Now that Seongwu and Jinri were left alone in the table, it felt awkward (that’s what Jinri feels at the moment, she wasn’t sure about Seongwu). Seongwu was quietly finishing up his ramen while Jinri ate some of the soup from Jaehwan’s bowl of ramen.

Jinri suddenly thought of her need to apologize to Seongwu. Maybe now was the perfect timing. _This is it, let’s get this over with._

“Uhm.. Seongwu.” Jinri looked at Seongwu, her hands getting a little sweaty out of nervousness. Her knees were shaking a little, and if it touched the table, she was sure that even the table would shake as well.

Seongwu looked at her, placing his bowl on the table before holding his cup of water. “Yes?”

“About what happened during the art exhibit.”

“Mm? What about it?”

Jinri closed her eyes for a few seconds, taking in a huge breath before looking at Seongwu once again. _This is it, there’s no turning back now._ “I just want to apologize for every discomfort I have caused you that night.”

Seongwu blinked before pursing his lips. He then nodded slowly, but didn’t say anything. It looked like Seongwu understood which events she was referring to.

Jinri took this as a sign to continue. “I didn’t mean any of it to happen. Whether it was caused by my actions or just a result of whatever happened in my past, I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to drag you into all the drama I caused and I just want you to know that I am really sorry.”

“One question though.” Seongwu said, looking at her straight in the eyes as he placed his chopsticks on top of his glass of water. “Am I really the reason behind your breakup?”

There was that question again, she thought to herself. It was finally time to put an end to this kind of speculation. “No. I didn’t break up with him because of you. I was the problem. I was the reason why our relationship didn’t work out.”

Seongwu nodded slowly, clasping his hands together as he looked away. “Mm, I see. I have been wondering whether I wrecked a relationship without knowing.”

There. Daniel was right. It was the confirmation that Jinri needed— Seongwu knows about her little crush. There’s no use in denying it anymore after everything that happened.

“Well then, since it’s pretty obvious that you know,” Jinri tapped her fingers on the table repeatedly. She didn’t know where she was able to get the courage to say that, but she did. She wasn’t able to think before she said those words, but since it’s already out, there’s no going back. “I just want to assure you that you have nothing to worry about.”

Seongwu turned to look at her, his eyebrow raised. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just a little crush, nothing deep. It would pass.” Jinri tried her best to avoid his curious gaze, trying to calm her heart at the same time as well. Seongwu’s gaze felt like it was boring holes on her head, and it made her heart skip a beat. “I don’t plan on doing anything about it, or to even act on it that would result to anything that would make you uncomfortable. Well, intentionally.”

The boy blinked, looking a little dumbfounded with what he just heard. He then let out a soft chuckle, rubbing his nape gently. “Did you just confess to me?”

Jinri blinked, trying to process what he just said. _Did I confess?_ Never in a million years did she think that she would be able to confess her attraction towards Seongwu, but she did. And to top all of that, she did it on a very special day— Valentine’s day. Way to go, Jinri.

Instead of answering his question, the only thing that Jinri was able to do was to give herself a facepalm. She shut her eyes close, trying to take in all the humiliation headed towards her way. Go ahead, Jinri. Embarrass yourself even more in front of Ong Seongwu. “Shit.” She mumbled to herself, still covering her face with her palm.

Upon hearing her curse, Seongwu chuckled softly. He was watching Jinri the whole time she was trying to hide behind her palm, and to him, it looked amusing.

“I’m fucked.” Jinri shook her head slowly before opening her eyes. The sight of Seongwu smiling was the first one she saw, and she felt all the blood come rushing to her face.

“Did you know,” Seongwu started, tapping his fingers on the table as he wiggled raised his brows, smiling. “That this is the weirdest, the most unique and the most memorable confession I have ever heard in the twenty three years of my existence?”

“I’m embarrassing, stop looking at me.” Jinri bit her lower lip, looking outside the window instead as she held her cup of water. How long does it take to order some drinks? How long does it take to go to the comfort room and come back? When will either of the three come back? It would be better if they came back any minute now because she couldn’t take any more of the embarrassment she’s experiencing at the moment. She kept on drinking the water in her cup slowly, but it seems like the water she’s drinking at the moment quickly comes out of her body through her sweat glands. She was that nervous.

“You really are something, Jinri.” Seongwu said with a smile, taking a sip of his water as well as he looked at his empty bowl. He then took his chopsticks and ate some of the rice cakes from Daniel’s plate. “Oh, before I forget. Thank you for all the chocolates and the pepperos boxes you gave me before. Almond was my favorite, and you got them right one time.” He let out a soft chuckle, glancing at Jinri with a small smile.

Jinri coughed, choking on the water she was drinking. She gently hit her chest with her fist, coughing as softly as her body would allow because let’s face it— this day already reached the quota for the embarrassment and humiliation in front of Seongwu.

“H-hey, are you okay?” Seongwu’s expression suddenly turned into a concerned one, quickly offering her some of the tissue from the tissue dispenser beside him.

Jinri shook her head, still coughing. She was too ashamed to even get the tissue from Seongwu.

“Hey, you okay?” Daniel said, walking closer towards their table, looking all worried as he watched Jinri cough. He took out his handkerchief from his pocket and gave it to her. “Eh, be careful while drinking your water next time.”

_Thank you, universe. Really._


	15. no room for awkwardness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today was an important day for Jaehwan. However, Jinri didn't expect that it would be a memorable one for her as well. memorable in what way though?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello, sorry for being gone for a reaaaaally long time. when i said i was already halfway with the chapter, i was actually halfway the chapter. however, while reading it, i felt like it would be too bland and too draggy so i scrapped the whole chapter and started a new one. but then, inspiration and motivation are out of the window so i really had a hard time finishing this chapter. and also, i really have no plans for the next chapters yet, so it might take some time but if my mind decides to be creative and actually start functioning quickly for once, i might update soon.  
> i ran through this once, not sure if flawless but i am apologizing in advance for the errors. too lazy to edit.  
> to those who are still reading until this chapter, thank you for waiting. we're almost there, seongwu and jinri are finally at the level where they actually talk and interact with each other.  
> also, if you could suggest fun questions that i can use for one chapter with a 'never have i ever' kind of game, i would really appreciate it. lovelots.  
> wanna one will be coming back soon, imma go punch the person who punched niel. hoho jk

 

“So what you’re saying to me right now is that finally, you didn’t only have the guts to say hi, but you were actually able to confess your feelings for him?” Jaehwan said through the phone, amusement evident in his tone. Jinri knew that if the guy was standing right in front of her at the moment, he would be trying his best to stop his self from laughing.

Jinri let out a sigh, and it was enough to turn Jaehwan into a laughing mess. The boy was already close to laughing already a few minutes ago, only waiting for the right timing just so he could tease her more and get a good reaction out of it. She was already prepared for the round of teasing from the boy. She knew it was coming. 

Minhyun walked towards her, holding a big maroon cup of drinks they agreed to share on one hand, a big bucket of cheese popcorn on the other. “Is Jaehwan okay?”

Jinri nodded, still listening to Jaehwan’s hysterical laugh from the other line.

As if her coughing was the signal, Minhyun and Jaehwan came back only a few minutes after Daniel came back that day. Before they got a grasp of what happened when they weren’t around, Jinri told them that she had to leave as soon as possible, saying that Jisung was already looking for her. The guys believed her, totally clueless of what happened when they were gone. Seeing Jaehwan’s reaction at the moment just proves that Seongwu didn’t tell them anything about that awkward moment. She was a little thankful that Seongwu didn’t tell them, because she preferred to have herself tell the story to her friends and get laughed at, rather than having them hear it from others.

Minhyun was the first one she called that night. All that Minhyun did was laugh at her, to the point that she can even hear Minhyun’s laugh even after she hung up. The boy wasn’t able to respond properly since he found the situation amusing. Just like her, he never even thought that his good friend would be able to do do something lke that. Before the call ended, he told Jinri that she did a good job and that everything would be okay.

It was obvious that Jaehwan tried his very best to calm down, and when he was finally able to talk, he cleared his throat. “Good job, my friend! I am so proud of you!”

Jinri just let him with whatever he was doing because nothing’s going to change the fact that she already confessed to Seongwu, even if she didn’t plan on doing so anytime soon. Being extremely busy right after Valentine’s Day was a huge help in order for her to avoid Seongwu after making a mess out of herself.

“You really are something, huh? I didn’t expect you to do that so quickly. And that was a really weird yet good way of confessing, do you know that? There’s no way he’s ever going to forget your confession.” Jinri knew that Jaehwan was still laughing, and she just chose to ignore it. Today was an important day for him after all, and kicking him on the sheen would be of no help.

Today was their university’s soccer team’s first match of the year (also the championship game), and the university was bursting with school spirit, almost everything decorated in maroon and white. Classes were cancelled so everyone was given the chance to support their school’s soccer team, almost all students wearing maroon and white shirts to express their support. It was a little chaotic, but it was the kind of chaos which screamed university spirit and made everyone feel a little less dead despite their numerous schoolworks.

Since Jaehwan was one of the team’s ace players, he was nowhere to be seen in the past week. Their team was training really hard since this match would determine the champion of the University Soccer League, and there would be scouting teams around to check on potential players to be added to their professional teams. Jaehwan was really nervous, and decided to call Jinri and Minhyun so he could talk to them and calm down a little. Jinri knew that talking about how she made a mess of herself would be the perfect way to divert Jaehwan’s attention from the nervousness he was feeling.

Chungha was also a little busy in the past week— being the next-in-line head cheerleader was making her busier than she already was. Jinri and Minhyun rarely saw the two during game season since it’s the time when they need to step up their games.

“I know.” Jinri let out a sigh for the nth time that day, her mood totally in contrast with the rest of the people in the parking lot, showing their school spirit through various activities. “I suck.”

“No, you finally stopped sucking. You finally had the guts to do something, that’s good!” Jaehwan let out a soft chuckle before clearing his throat. “Ah, fuck. I am so nervous.”

“Don’t be nervous, Jae. I know you’ll do well. We know you will,” Jinri tried her very best to sound assuring. She wasn’t the best person to go to when you need someone to comfort you, but at least she tries her best. “You’re not Kim Jaehwan for nothing, you idiot.”

Jaehwan let out a soft chuckle. “Thanks. Talking to you and Minhyun hyung was really helpful.”

“Anytime, Jae.”

“Anyways, I need to go. We’re going to have a team meeting for a while.” With that, he hung up. Jinri gave Minhyun his phone back and took a handful of popcorn from the bucket.

“How’s he doing?” Minhyun asked curiously before taking a sip from their drink.

“He’s nervous, but I hope that he would really do well.” She popped a few pieces of popcorn in her mouth, chewing slowly as she looked around the place. “It’s a miracle that you’re not the one in charge of covering this event.”

Minhyun shrugged with a playful smile. “I wanted to watch the game this year, and also, the younger ones need to train. I’m too tired, let them do all the work for this event. And bes—”

_“WOOOOH GO MYUNGSANG UNIVERSITY WOOOH!”_

Even if she was in a really vast concert hall, or in the middle of a really noisy parking lot just like today, Jinri would know who the owner of that voice is. It was Seongwu. It came from somewhere near, and she knew that the possibility of them meeting each other after that confession was high.

If you thought that confessing to Seongwu can make Jinri much more confident in engaging to normal human interaction with Seongwu, then you’re wrong. Jinri was back to square one— trying to avoid the boy at all costs. Yes, Jinri was busy in the past week: busy with schoolworks and busy avoiding Seongwu. It was a good thing that their Media Studies professor was out of town that week and only left a writing assignment, so she didn’t have to meet Seongwu. Can she embarrass herself more in front of Seongwu? She was sure she doesn’t want to.

“Shit.” She cursed to herself as she ran her fingers through her hair. “Minhyun, let’s go.”

“Where to?” Minhyun looked at her with a curious expression, blinking his eyes slowly as he took a sip from the drink.

“Somewhere far, somewhere away from here!” Jinri held Minhyun’s wrist and was ready to leave. She was very determined to avoid Seongwu at all costs.

But then, she was never successful at times like this. The more she avoided Seongwu, the more she saw him around. This day was not an exception to her unbelievable luck.

“Well hello there, fellow schoolmates!” As soon as Jinri turned around, she was faced with Seongwu’s chest. She looked up to see Seongwu, smiling widely at her and Minhyun, holding a small bottle of face paint on one hand. He was wearing their school’s official long-sleeved shirt, a white cape and a white bandana on his head. He also had two strips of maroon and white paint on each cheek, just like most of the people around the parking lot area. By the looks of it, he was one of the people responsible for it. His right hand was covered in paint.

“School spirit, wooh!” Seongwu raised his hand in the air, smiling. “Disclaimer, I am not drunk. Most people think I am but I am not, trust me. I’m not really drunk.” He let out a soft chuckle, wiggling his brows. “Anyways, you guys look like you are getting ready to leave. Where are you going?”

Jinri blinked as she swallowed the lump that was formed in her throat. What is the most decent answer besides _‘trying to avoid you’,_ she thought to herself as she stared at Seongwu. Her mind and tongue wasn’t cooperating at the moment.

“We were going to get some drinks. I drank almost half of her drink.” Minhyun answered with a smile, slightly shaking the large cup he was holding. He then looked at Jinri and gave her a smile, the girl looking at her with a thankful smile.

“Oh,” Seongwu nodded slowly, looking at Minhyun then at Jinri. “Well, before you guys go, and since I’m already here, do you guys want some paint? They’re face paints, so you can remove them easily after the game.”

Before Jinri could say no, Minhyun cut her off. “Yeap, she goes first.”

There’s a reason why Jaehwan and Minhyun clicks, and teasing her is one of them.

“Okay, Jinri first.” Seongwu said with a smile as he turned to look at Jinri. She was trying her best to keep her calmest expression at the moment. Seongwu raised his right hand, showing Jinri his paint covered fingers. “I’m going to use my hands, would that be okay?”

Jinri nodded slowly. “Well, I guess I’m not much of a germ conscious person so it’s okay.” She wanted to hit herself on the head so bad for coming up with the lamest answer.

“Don’t worry. I make sure I sing the happy birthday song whenever I wash my hands to get rid of almost ninety percent of germs and bacteria.” Seongwu let out a soft chuckle, dipping his forefinger on the paint. “Just make sure to wash your face thoroughly tonight to remove all the paint on your face or else your skin will rot. Ready?” The boy looked at her with an expression which seemed like he was asking for permission, to which she responded with a slight nod.

As soon as Seongwu’s finger touched her cheek, Jinri felt herself blush. Her pale skin was slowly turning into a light shade of red. Seongwu’s finger was warm, despite the cold sensation the paint brought. He was slowly creating the two strokes on her cheek, looking at her attentively. Jinri was sure that she felt like she was going to combust anytime soon— _if that word was even applicable to humans_.

“I ran out of white paint. Wait for a minute.” Seongwu looked around, then gestured for someone to come closer. It turns out Dongho was the person he was talking to. “Dongho, do you still have some white paint?”

Dongho jogged slowly towards them, greeting Minhyun with a wide smile and a nod before looking at Seongwu. He wasn’t a member of Seongwu’s org, but he’s always around to help since he knew most of the members. “Oh, _hello.”_ He looked at Jinri with a playful smile before he handed Seongwu the small bottle of white face paint.

“And now the left cheek.” Seongwu said with a smile, dipping his finger on the paint before drawing two straight lines on Jinri’s left cheek. His gaze shifted from her cheek to her eyes, Seongwu looking at her with a soft smile. “Oh, your cheeks are turning red.” He then dabbed a little of the paint on the tip of Jinri’s nose before he proceeded to paint on Minhyun’s face, chuckling softly to his self.

There’s a reason why Seongwu and Jaehwan click, and she’s sure that teasing her is one of them.

 

 

 

 

Minhyun swore it wasn’t on purpose. Finding two empty seats right beside Seongwu and his group of friends wasn’t really planned. Minhyun swore it was pure coincidence.

Jinri wanted to believe Minhyun. If it was Jaehwan, then it was probably planned. But knowing Minhyun, he isn’t able to do _this_ kind of thing.

She sat down on the seat beside Seongwu, since Minhyun took the seat next to it, saying it has a better view. It was an excuse, and it was obvious because Minhyun was smiling to his self as he settled on his seat.

Beside Seongwu was Daniel, Dongho, Jonghyun and Minki, their faces filled with face paint just like Seongwu. He probably forced the paint on Minki’s face since the strokes were messy, and Daniel was now the one wearing the cape Seongwu had before.

The previous events weren’t on purpose, but Jinri swore she almost kicked Dongho on the face for making her go with Seongwu to the food stalls to buy some snacks. She wasn’t even eating from their bucket of cheese fries but she ended up being the one tasked to buy another bucket as well as bottles of water along with Seongwu. They all needed to rehydrate theirselves during the match since there will be a lot of screaming and jumping whenever their team would score.

Seongwu was the one talking to the person behind the counter while Jinri looked around the place nervously. She kept on sipping the now melted ice from her drink, the blue lemonade already ran out a few minutes ago. Her attention was all on her drink in order to avoid Seongwu or any kind of conversation, and she was able to finish almost half of it in less than two minutes. Whenever Seongwu asked her questions, she answered him with either a nod or a quick shake of her head. However, now that she’s out of lemonade, she has no excuse to stay quiet anymore.

“Do you want some fries?” Jinri was surprised to see Seongwu leaning a little closer to her ear. It was a little loud in the place, making it hard for everyone to talk without screaming at each other’s faces. “The guys wanted cheese fries, but then I want sour cream and onion. Do you like that flavor as well?”

Did she like that flavor? Yes, she does. A lot, actually. It was her favorite. Whenever they bought fries, Jinri was the one in charge of that specific flavor. Jaehwan got the cheese fries covered, and Minhyun on the plain salted ones. “Sour cream and onion? Yep, I like that flavor.”

Upon hearing her answer, Seongwu’s face brightened up. The boy held onto Jinri’s shirt’s sleeve, tugging on it gently out of excitement. “Really? Really? Can we share, please? Cheese fries are too salty, and besides, the guys fight over it.”

Jinri nodded with a slight smile, feeling a little more comfortable after seeing Seongwu’s expression. She was really worried that after what happened, Seongwu would feel awkward around her and stop talking to her the way he used to before. It was a relief, since she knew she did not cause any more discomfort to the boy beside her.

She took out her wallet from her pocket, deciding that she’ll be the one in charge of the fries like she used to do with Jaehwan and Minhyun. “Sure, I’ll buy it and we can share.”

Seongwu quickly shook his head. “No can do, Jinri. My mom told me never to let a girl pay. That’s basic manners.”

Jinri looked at Seongwu with an eyebrow raised. “And I believe that men and women are equal. So if you, a boy, can buy me a drink or a meal, then I, a girl, can buy you a meal as well.” She then smiled and gave him a nod before ordering the bucket of the said fries.

Seongwu wasn’t able to protest anymore since Jinri quickly paid for their order. He just looked at her with an amused smile, shaking his head slowly as he took his hand out of his pocket. “Every time you open your mouth, you always amaze me. You say the most unexpected things.”

Jinri cleared her throat, then faked a cough as she covered half of her face with her hand. She knew she was blushing, and she knew that just like before, Seongwu would tease her about it. “A-anyways, thanks for saving a seat for Minhyun and I. We thought we were going to end up sitting on the stairs this time.”

After that paint incident in the parking lot, Jinri and Minhyun headed to the office of the Journalism club since Minhyun had to brief the sophomores who were in charge of covering the event. So far, the ones he assigned for the event were doing great, and there were a lot of pictures that they could use for the article.

Seongwu nodded slowly. “No worries. The place was almost filled with people. Daniel suggested we save a seat for you two when I mentioned I saw you two at the parking lot earlier.”

That answers her question. Daniel was the one behind all these, and he probably meant no harm just like the instances before. He was just extra nice like the person he really is.

The person behind the counter then handed Seongwu the big bucket of cheese fries he ordered, as well as the bag filled with water bottles for the guys. A few minutes later, the sour cream and onion fries Jinri ordered for them came as well.

Jinri’s phone vibrated in her pocket, and when she checked, Minhyun sent her a text telling her to buy a big cup of lemonade for the two of them. He was certain that Jinri already finished up their drink and he wasn’t even able to drink a lot from it.

“I’ll just buy another cup of lemonade, Minhyun wanted some.” Jinri said, holding onto their bucket of fries.

Seongwu glanced at Jinri as he held onto the bucket of fries and the bag of water bottles carefully. “I’ll come with you. We’re done here anyways.”

Jinri blinked before shaking her head slightly. “I can ge—”

“I’m coming with you.” Seongwu said with a grin as he nudged Jinri slightly, urging her to move.

And with that, Jinri had no choice but to let Seongwu tag along. They walked in silence, Seongwu eyeing the fries since both of his hands were occupied. Jinri was silently eating some of the fries as she tried her best to walk quickly towards the lemonade stall.

“So here’s the thing.” Seongwu said, looking at Jinri seriously then at the bucket of fries. Jinri looked at him while handing the payment to the person behind the counter. “I really want some fries at the moment.”

Jinri stopped the urge to let out a soft chuckle as she watched how serious Seongwu looked as he said that. “Give me the bucket of fries.”

Seongwu’s lips slowly turned into a smile as he handed Jinri the bucket. He was like a five-year-old kid given a lollipop as he started munching on the sour cream fries he liked a lot.

It was one thing that Jinri should add to her list of things which make up the human version of Seongwu: he liked sour cream and onion fries, and he looks a lot better when he eats. His expression brightens up more than usual and he looked like a little hamster when he chews.

“Uhm.” Jinri was itching to tell Seongwu that he got some of the powder on his lower lip. It was distracting her.

Seongwu looked at Jinri while he nibbled on a french fry. “Mm?”

“Uhm.” Jinri tried her best to not look at Seongwu’s lips. “You have something on your..”

“Mm?” Seongwu blinked twice.

“You have some sour cream powder on your lips.” Jinri looked away, clearing her throat as she tapped her left foot on the ground.

“Oh.” Seongwu blinked once again before he let out a soft chuckle, wiping his lips gently with the back of his hand. “Hey, I’m glad you’re not awkward around me anymore.”

Upon hearing that, Jinri became speechless. She opened her mouth, but then no words came out of it. Once again, her brain has betrayed her again.

“Well, you’re still awkward but at least you’re not _that_ awkward anymore.” One thing that Jinri noticed this whole time was how Seongwu looked at someone whenever he talks, or whenever he listens. He tries his very best to look at someone during a conversation, straight in the eyes. It was a so much more different than the way Seongwu looked at her the first time they talked.

Jinri’s eyes shift from left to right, trying to avoid Seongwu’s gaze as he talked. She felt uncomfortable and more self conscious than she already was at the moment.

“If you think I didn’t notice, well then you’re wrong. You’re actually not the subtlest person whenever you try to avoid me. I know that you’ve been avoiding me ever since, _you know.”_ Seongwu gave her a knowing look. She knew what he was referring to. At least they were on the same page.

Jinri pressed her lips together, not knowing exactly what to say at the moment. She was guilty of what Seongwu just said.  

“I’m relieved that you’re actually talking to me right now. I am hoping that this would go on, because you know. My group of friends and your group of friends kind of get along really well these days, and seeing each other more often is possible. Daniel really likes hanging out with you three, you seem to amuse Dongho a lot, Jaehwan is a really good friend, and Minhyun and Jonghyun seems friendlier with each other recently. So bottomline is,” Seongwu pressed his lips into a thin line and blinked thrice. He looked like he was looking for the right words to say.

What is he going to say? Jinri’s mind was a mess at the moment. She wanted to give Seongwu an award for the most dramatic and the most climactic pause ever. If this was a movie, Jinri would be commenting at how good the director used the silence.

However, this kind of silence scared her. There are a lot of possible things that Seongwu can say, and based on the kind of Seongwu she knows at the moment, she can say the most random comment ever.

What are you really going to say next, Seongwu?

“I want us to be really good friends. I really hope we can get along with each other.” Seongwu looked at her with a smile, a really sincere smile.

 _Huh._ So this is how it feels like to be in the friendzone. Jinri never expected that she’d be on this situation. Well, she didn’t even imagine she’s going to talk to the boy, yet here she is, being asked by the Ong Seongwu to be his friend. Right after she confessed to him. Unintentionally. _Huh._

“I mean, we share a class together, we are even partners for schoolworks and all. You and Jaehwan are like a one plus one package, and I have to admit that I kind of enjoy talking to you because your comebacks are unexpected and amusing.” Seongwu nodded slowly, looking at the bucket of fries the whole time he was talking. He then turned to look at her and gave her a small smile. “I mean, if my hands were free right now I would really offer my hand for a handshake, but since I can’t,” he gave Jinri a gentle nudge on the side, wrinkling his nose as he smiled.

The whole time Seongwu was talking, Jinri was just staring at him with a blank expression. Her mind was a mess, and she wasn’t sure of how to feel at the moment. Was she supposed to feel bad that Seongwu just friendzoned her or was her heart supposed to flutter at how he wrinkled his nose as he gave her a little nudge? She wasn’t really sure.

All that she was able to say to him was a soft _sure_ while nodding slowly, trying her very best to return the same smile he gave her. Seongwu was being sincere, she can’t ignore that just because she wasn’t sure of what to feel about it.

There’s a reason why Ong Seongwu wants to be friends with her. That, she was sure of. Deep down, she knew that something was up. She just doesn’t know what it is at the moment.

 

**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to all those who gave me a kudos! i love you all <3


	16. 16: let the games begin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinri keeps on telling herself to not rush into a mess she doesn't want to be in, but can she really avoid the boy who keeps on reaching out his hand?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little warning though: this chapter might be conversation-heavy (who am i kidding, i think it is)

**15: let the games begin**

  


_“Victory for Myungsang! Victory for Myungsang!”_

Continuous chants can be heard around the school’s open field. A celebratory event was held right after the match, and everyone was invited. Whether the team lose or win, the event will push through, and since their school’s soccer team won the championship, the mini concert was turned into a celebratory concert where school spirit can really be felt.

It was a really tough game. The score was close until the end, and Jaehwan was the night’s hero. Right before the the end of the game he was able to score the one point they needed in order to win. It was a dramatic win, and Jinri almost cried. What held her tears back was the arm of the guy named Ong Seongwu wrapped around her shoulder tightly as he jumped with joy. Her tears were already on the verge of falling, but then the sudden contact stopped her from screaming and crying her eyes out of glee. Instead of her tear ducts, her heart was triggered and started beating the hell out of her chest.

Seongwu looked at her with so much joy in his face as the crowd cheered around them. All that she was able to do was smile (she tried her best to not make it look awkward) and let out a small _hurray_ and a small clap. Seongwu ended up chuckling, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze before apologizing. It was really okay, Jinri was okay. Her heart was just trying to get out of her chest and join the group of cheerleaders dancing and jumping around the members of the soccer team.

“Do you want some marshmallows?” Daniel gave Jinri a little nudge as he stood beside her, holding two long sticks on one hand and a pack of marshmallows on the other hand.

Jinri nodded, rubbing her arms to create more heat. It was getting colder, and the clothes she was wearing weren’t thick enough to fight the cold. To think that they were already standing close to the bonfire, it really was a cold night.

“Wait.” Daniel gave her the pack of marshmallows and the sticks before taking off his padded jacket. “Wear this, it’s really warm.” The boy placed the jacket on her shoulders, making sure it was covering her enough. Daniel smiled and took the pack of marshmallows again from her.

Jinri gave Daniel a smile as she wore the jacket properly. “Thanks, Niel.”

“So,” Daniel said, busy looking at the marshmallow he was putting on a stick. “You had a little moment there with Seongwu hyung.”

“You saw that?” Jinri shook her head in amusement, zipping the jacket even more to keep herself warm.

“Who didn’t see that should be your question.” Daniel said with a soft chuckle, handing Jinri the stick with three pieces of marshmallow in it. He then began to make one for his self as Jinri held the stick near the bonfire. “Dongho hyung saw it and was laughing and clapping, Jonghyun hyung did the same, and Minki hyung kept on asking Jonghyun about it. I think even Minhyun saw it, he was smiling really widely as he cheered.”

Jinri just shook her head and kept quiet as she roasted the marshmallow. She doesn’t really know how to respond. Ever since that little moment the two of them had, she can’t really look at Seongwu straight in the eyes. The right word for what she felt at that exact moment was still nowhere to be found, and even until the moment she was stunned.

Her friends’ reaction was the usual: right after Minhyun told Chungha and Jaehwan, the two kept on teasing Jinri until it reached the point when Minhyun had to drag the two away from the bonfire because Jinri was too silent. She wasn’t mad, she was just deep in thoughts.

“You know, when Seongwu hyung offered to be friends with you, he was sincere.” Daniel held his stick of marshmallows near the bonfire, twisting it with his fingers slowly to roast all sides evenly. “I’ve known him for a few months now, and I guess I know him a little better than others do. You know how there’s just people you meet and you know that you’d click? Seongwu hyung’s like that. We just match. And trust me when I tell you that when he said he wants to be friends with you, he’s telling the truth.”

“And why are you telling me all these things?” Jinri held the marshmallow near her lips, blowing air on it to cool it down.

A lot of things were filling Jinri’s mind: a.) _Nothing, just because;_ and _b.)I want you guys to be best friends;_ are the possible reasons that she could think of, and somewhere in the back of her mind, a soft voice whispering _‘there’s a possibility of him liking you’_ was trying to make its way. But then that’s just wishful thinking, and it would really be weird that out of the blue, Seongwu would suddenly take that kind of interest on her. She discards the thought, trying her very best to look as nonchalant as possible.

Daniel took a bite of the marshmallow, whining about how hot it was as he chewed. He then shrugged as he was finally able to chew the marshmallow properly, complaining every now and then about how he burnt his tongue. “He gets really quiet when he’s with you.”

Jinri’s expression turned from a nonchalant one into a what-the-hell-are you-talking about kind of face. It is true that Seongwu can get a little quiet around her, but so what? Isn’t that a bad thing? “Uhm..” she bit her lower lip, a little frustrated, as she scratched her head with her free hand. “Kindly elaborate. I don’t really get what you’re saying.”

“When he gets really quiet around someone, it means he’s comfortable.” Daniel said in a matter-of-factly tone, biting on his now cooled marshmallow. “He may seem like a people person, but truth is, he isn’t. He gets uncomfortable around a lot of people, and when that happens, he gets too talkative. So what I’m saying is, if he doesn’t try to make those continuous awkward and shitty small talks with you, it means he’s comfortable. And that’s a plus, you know.”

That is a plus, she has to agree to that. All this time she thought she made Seongwu uncomfortable most of the time, but that might be the case before. However, it started getting ‘better’ (based on Daniel’s perspective) after the whole clarification incident. Seongwu probably felt comfortable knowing that a girl who likes him won’t be hitting on him every now and then.

“Niel! Niel!” Before Jinri could even respond, Seongwu’s voice from afar interrupted her. She pressed her lips together, waiting for what is to come as the boy walked towards them, holding a big cup of Gulp he bought from the seven eleven across their university.

Seongwu stood in between Daniel and Jinri when he arrived, giving the girl a small smile before turning to his friend, holding his cup close to Daniel. “Do you want some?”

Daniel nodded before taking a sip from Seongwu’s drink. His expression slowly turned mischievous as he kept on drinking from Seongwu’s cup. The boy was smiling as well, taking his drink away from the younger after a few minutes.

“Don’t drink it all!” Seongwu said with a soft laugh as he held his cup near him.

“How the hell are you able to sneak that in?” Daniel said with a soft chuckle before finishing his remaining marshmallow.

Jinri was nibbling on her marshmallow as she watched the interaction of the two in front of her. Daniel was right, it seems like the two really click even though they just met months ago.

“Wow, I should really try that next time.” Daniel said with a grin, wiggling his brows at the same time. He then looked at Jinri while pointing at Seongwu who was smiling widely. “He was able to sneak the beer in. Look at how this person uses his brain!”

“That’s beer?” Jinri asked with a curious expression, pointing at the big Gulp cup Seongwu was holding with the stick.

Seongwu nodded with a smile, holding the beer close to her. “Do you want some?”

Jinri shook her head, not in the mood to get some alcohol in her system.

“Parties like this are best enjoyed with beer, you know.” Seongwu said with a smile before taking another sip from his drink. “If you see me sleeping in the classrooms, it may be because I am drunk. I do my work better when a little intoxicated.”

 _Just like Jaehwan,_ she thought. “Won’t you get in trouble for that though?”

Seongwu shrugged, continuously sipping on his drink. “Been doing it for years, and I haven’t gotten in trouble yet. So I think I’m good. It helps me get through my midterms. It’s hard to think of new things to do for exams. It helps me get more creative.”

Jinri just nodded slowly, not knowing how to respond. She still felt awkward around Seongwu, the scene in the game continuously playing in her head every time her peripheral vision catches Seongwu. Her heart still had that familiar feeling, the butterflies in her stomach making a scene again.

“What’s this for then, hyung?” Daniel asked, grinning cheekily.

Seongwu shrugged, smiling playfully. “Just fun. Since our team won.”

“Don’t get too drunk though, you might really get in trouble this time.”

“I’m Ong Seongwu. I don’t get in trouble.” The boy said with a wide grin, slowly looking at the quiet girl beside him. “Am I right, Jin?”

 _Jin._ Jinri felt her heart leap. _He just called me by my nickname._ She felt funny— it was as if she was back to her high school self, getting hyped and smiling over a trivial thing the guy she likes does. But this time, it wasn’t just about the beautiful and playful smile the boy beside her was sporting. She can’t help but consider that what Daniel told her a while ago was indeed, true.

Acting as if her heart wasn’t trying to make a scene inside her chest, she fixed the zipper of the jacket she was wearing even though it didn’t need fixing.  “I’m hoping you won’t because at the moment, Niel and I are accomplices to the possible crime.”

Seongwu let out a soft laugh, nodding slowly. “I won’t get you in trouble.” He then took his free hand out of his pocket then ruffled Jinri’s hair with it.

Jinri felt her cheeks heat up. Her mind was slowly going into a state of panic. _What do I do? What do I say? Should I say something? Or just act nonchalantly?_ If she was talking out loud, it would have been her version of word vomit.

“Eh, hyung. Don’t ruin her hair.” Daniel said with a laugh before fixing Jinri’s hair.

Jinri felt thankful towards Daniel. She knew that the boy was just trying to lighten the mood after seeing the girl get all panicky on the inside. But then, it was still too early to tell.

“You should be telling _us,_ not just her.” Daniel then patted her head before placing his hand back inside his pocket. “Don’t get the three of us in trouble, so don’t drink too much.”

Seongwu just nodded with a playful smile, glancing at Jinri.

Jinri felt weird. Seongwu was the one drinking, but it felt as if she was the one who’s drunk. Her mind stopped functioning ever since Seongwu touched her cheek this afternoon.

“I’ll just get some drinks, and by drinks I was referring to the lemonade stall in the parking lot.” Jinri felt as if she was stabbed in the back. After Daniel saved her from the awkwardness Seongwu’s drunk affectionateness brought, he’s going to leave her here alone with the boy.

He looked at Jinri then at Seongwu. “Do you guys want anything? Food? Non-alcoholic drinks?” He said with a playful smile as he looked at Seongwu. The boy let out a soft chuckle before shaking his head

Jinri tried her best to send signals to Daniel, her eyes screaming, _don’t leave me here._ However, her signals were blocked by Daniel’s ringing phone.

Daniel patted Jinri and Seongwu’s shoulder before walking away from the two, answering his phone.

Despite the loud cheers of the people around them, there was silence. It wasn’t the kind of silence which made people feel uncomfortable, it was the kind everyone needed after talking for so long. Comforting, relaxing. Just the right amount to let your mind breathe.

Even though it did not feel uncomfortable (yet), Jinri didn’t want this moment to last. She knew that the more time she spent with Seongwu alone, there are more chances of her making a fool of herself once again. Seongwu just stared at the bonfire while continuously drinking his beer, and Jinri kept on fidgeting on her hoodie’s zipper. _When will my good friends arrive?_ She thought to herself as she shut her eyes close. What kind of blackhole did Minhyun bring the two in. She wasn’t mad, and was badly hoping that the three would magically appear in front of her.

What kind of excuse would seem believable? Should she pretend that someone texted or called her and asked her to go somewhere else? No, that’s such a textbook excuse, and besides, Daniel was already able to use it a while ago. Should she pretend that she’s going to the restroom and just stay there until the end of the night? Possible, but she knew she can come up with a better excuse. Or.. should she just get honest with Seongwu and tell him that it feels awkward to have him around? No, that would make her seem like an ass, and between the two of them, Seongwu was the one who is supposed to feel that way.

“What are you thinking?” Seongwu’s voice pulled Jinri out of her train of thoughts. He wasn’t looking at her; he was still staring at the bonfire with a blank expression on his face.

Jinri turned her head to look at the boy, blinking her eyes rapidly as she tried to come up with a decent answer. “..Jaehwan?” _Of all people, why say his name, idiot._

Seongwu’s blank expression finally turned into a slightly cheerful one. “Why Jaehwan?”

Jinri scratched her head, a little taken aback with the boy’s response. “Uhm..” she scratched her head as her momentarily dysfunctional brain tried its best to produce an answer. “I’m just wondering where Minhyun dragged him and Chungha. It’s been long since they left to God knows where.”

The boy nodded slowly, looking at her as his lips slowly turned into a soft smile. She just looked at Seongwu, and he just looked back at her with that beautiful smile which made her heart nervous.

In order to break the silence which brought butterflies to her stomach, she decided that she has to take action. She knew that her cheeks are going to turn red anytime soon. Not knowing what to say, Jinri just blurted out the first sentence that came to mind. “How are you doing, Seongwu?” _Good job, Jinri._ She felt like giving herself a facepalm.

Seongwu looked a little surprised with her question, breaking the eye contact between them. “Wow,” he said, scratching his head slightly.

Because of Seongwu’s reaction, she felt nervous. What on earth came to her to say such weird nonsense?

“I’m s—”

“It’s been long since someone asked me that, and I think I really needed that.” After drinking the remainder of his drink, he then proceeded to eating the leftover ice inside his cup. “Everything’s fucked up, but I’m trying to be okay.”

Jinri nodded slowly before giving Seongwu’s shoulder a gentle pat. At that moment, all the awkwardness Jinri felt a few moments ago slowly started fading. It seemed like he badly needed someone who would listen, and maybe, she can be _that_ person at that exact moment. “If you need to let it all out, I’m here to listen.”

Seongwu let out a soft chuckle, the kind you do when you want to make things lighter but not really mean it. “I don’t want to burden you with the details of my fucked up life.”

“You can just talk to me about anything. I’ve been told that I’m a good listener.” Of all the things she thought she was good at, Jinri was sure that she is a good listener. But she knew that when all the talking is done, she wouldn’t know how to respond. She might be a good listener, but she sucked at comforting people.

“Really, anything?”

“Yes.” Jinri nodded firmly. “Anything, Seongwu.”

“I have a question.”

“Go on.”

Seongwu heaved a breath before looking at the girl with a serious expression on his face. “Why is six afraid of seven?”

“..why?” Jinri didn’t know how to react.

Seongwu slowly grinned. “Because seven eight nine. Get it?” The boy started to laugh softly at his own joke, glancing at Jinri from time to time to check her reaction.

To be honest, she didn’t find it funny. At first, she didn’t really get it. But the way Seongwu smiled and laughed was enough to make her let out a soft chuckle out of amusement. If Jaehwan was the one who made that joke, she might have kicked him on the sheen for being too corny. But it was Seongwu-- everything about the boy is different. Every single thing he does is enough to make Jinri’s lips curve into a smile.

“To be honest, I want to punch you in the arm because of that joke.” Jinri told Seongwu, playfully nudging him on the arm.

“I know, I know. Worst joke of the century if you ask me.” The boy nodded, the smile never leaving his lips. “I panicked, and that was the first thing that came to mind. But seriously, I do have a question.”

Jinri nodded slowly. “Go, shoot.”

Seongwu was silent for a few seconds, staring at the bonfire while holding onto his cup tightly. It was as if he was contemplating whether to tell Jinri or not, and that he was looking for the right words to complete his sentence. “When you broke up with Sanggyun, did you look back? Did you want him back?”

There was this question again. If she can make a list of how many times she’s been asked this question and get a penny from it, she might be able to buy at least one cup of the coffee they love in school. Having Seongwu ask her the question made her a little uneasy, for she doesn’t know his initial intentions for doing so. Was it still because of what Sanggyun did to him? Is it because of some other reasons her mind forbids her to think? Or about something she haven’t even thought of?

“First, I want to correct one part of the story. I did not break up with him, he was the one who ended things with me.” As she said those words, she was rolling the  marshmallow’s stick between her fingers. To her, it felt weird that she was talking to the boy she likes at the present about the boy from her past. But since he asked, she knew she had to clarify things first before answering him directly.

“Oh.” Seongwu pressed his lips together into a thin line, nodding his head slowly. “Everyone thought it was the other way around.”

 _Everyone?_ “With everyone, you meant yourself, and who else?”

“Well, the ones who witnessed the punching incident from last year.”

It did make sense. With how Sanggyun acted, it might have seemed like that. “It can be interpreted that way, I can’t blame you.” She nodded slowly. “And to answer your question, yes. I did look back. I wanted him back. At first. But as weeks passed by, I stopped hoping and wishing that things went back to where they were before he left. Before I knew it, I was okay.”

It took a few minutes before Seongwu nodded and let out a soft sigh. “I guess it’s normal then.”

“I think it is. So don’t worry about it.” Jinri tried her best to give the boy the warmest smile she could, but it was hard. She felt slightly hurt knowing that Seongwu still thinks of Heehyun every now and then, but she can’t blame him. They _were_ together, and it seemed like he was so invested in the relationship. What keeps her mind busy at the moment was thinking of different possible reasons for Seongwu to break their relationship off. “Do you miss her?”

“A lot.” Seongwu let out a loud sigh as he ran his free hand through his hair, frustration evident in him. “But I don’t want to go through the same shit again. Even if she kept on coming back and kept on asking for another chance, I would always say no.” He might have said that he would say no, but it looked like his mind was in the middle of a storm. He looked troubled, confused and frustrated. “I know I broke up with her for a reason, but then there’s always this kind of thought at the end of the night: what if I get back together with her like she wanted to? Would everything be better?”

 _Don’t. Please don’t,_ Jinri wanted to say, but she had to be the rational one. Seongwu was drunk, emotional and vulnerable, and she was in her right mind. _She should be in her right mind._ But she knew she had to ask him something, and she couldn’t stop herself from doing so. “Would it be worth it though?”

And if he did say yes, Jinri knew that her heart would break into pieces.

That was when she began to assess herself and how she felt towards the boy. Was she in love? She was not sure, however, she knew that it would pain her to watch him with Heehyun again, knowing that she was able to get this close to the boy she used to watch from afar and that there might be the slightest possibility of things going to _that_ direction.

But then, there’s always this thought inside her head, the brake to all the green lights inside her mind: _don’t rush and dive into a mess you know you wouldn’t want to be in._

She wasn’t drunk, but she felt as emotional and vulnerable as the boy at the same time.

“You’re messed up, and I’m the only one who can keep up with all the baggage you have.” Seongwu said in a way that it seemed like he was reciting a passage from a really boring book while staring at the bonfire. “No one’s going to love you and care for you as much as I do."

Jinri was dumbfounded with what she just heard. She didn’t know what to say, even if she knew she had to respond. For a few seconds, all that she was able to do was stare at the boy before she was able to come up with the will to speak. “W-what?”

“Whenever we fought, she used to tell me that.” Seongwu said, his voice soft as if he was whispering. “At first, I didn’t want to believe Dongho, and I don’t want to think that way but it did seem like he was right. Heehyun’s a psychology major, and she’s been manipulating me, using all the shit she learned just so she could make me do whatever she wanted. It was as if I was her very own guinea pig. Fuck psychology.” He let out a really bitter laugh, looking really frustrated at his self. Even the memory of it disgusted him, and how the boy was able to take all of that during the time he spent with Heehyun, Jinri wanted to know. “Every time I tried to break up with her, she feeds me with thoughts leading to that. Some kind of conditioning, I think. And I was too dumb to believe her, but too scared to be left alone.”

Behind all those beautiful smiles and music-like laughter, beyond all those beautiful and colorful pieces of art Seongwu created all around the campus, he was this broken, his life was filled sadness. The sadness in his eyes was now more evident than ever, and it was probably the reason why his smiles never seemed to reach his eyes and never seemed that real for smiling was too much of a privilege for him.

The puzzle pieces of Ong Seongwu were now slowly getting into place, and the Seongwu that she knew before: the pretty boy everybody loved, the boy who seemed like sunshine to everyone he knew, the boy who brought smiles to people’s faces was now gone and replaced by this emotional, vulnerable, and _real_ Seongwu. The Seongwu who needed his own sunshine, who needed someone to bring back the smiles to his lips, and someone who would love him as much as he would love. Whether she would be all of these to him, she didn’t know, and she doesn’t want to think about it at that moment.

“You’re not dumb, Seongwu. You loved her, and you thought she wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. It isn’t your fault.” She knew she had to reassure him that he’s done the right thing. No one deserves to be in that kind of relationship, and she felt proud that Seongwu managed to be brave enough and leave. “I’m re--”

Jinri stopped halfway after feeling Seongwu slowly rest his head on her shoulder. She was frozen on her spot, and she couldn’t even turn her head to look.

“Get me out of here, please.” It was the last thing that Seongwu was able to say before Jinri felt all of his weight shift and fall towards her.

It was a relief that Jinri was able to manage and balance herself and Seongwu before they both fell on the ground. Seongwu was heavy, and how she was able to hold all that weight to stop them from falling was probably because of the adrenaline.

As she tried to wake Seongwu up, she felt a cold gaze pierce through her. A few meters away from her was Heehyun, looking at her and at Seongwu. Her gaze was cold, and it sent chills to her. Jinri cleared her throat before looking away, trying her very best to avoid the girl’s gaze. She was still processing all of the things Seongwu said, but the feeling of wanting to hate the doll-like girl a few meters away from her was slowly creeping in.

“What do we have here, my f-- oh dear lord is he dead?” Jaehwan’s giddy voice quickly turned into a panicked one, quickly checking on the passed out boy in Jinri’s arms. “I know you like him, Jin, but you didn’t have to kill him!”

“What the fuck, Jaehwan. Just help me, please? He’s heavy.” Jinri’s attention were now shifted to her friends suddenly appearing out of nowhere. “He’s probably sleeping since he had too much to drink. Are you drunk as well, Jaehwan?”

“I had some, but I’m not as drunk as your man, excuse me.” Jaehwan said, carefully shifting Seongwu’s body, placing the boy’s arm around his shoulder.

“You should’ve br-- oh my god.” Chungha almost panicked, but kept herself calm. Instead, she pulled Minhyun closer and urged the boy to help Jinri and Jaehwan in carrying the passed out Seongwu.

“There, there. Slowly.” Minhyun said as he tried to get Seongwu to stand straight. “We need to get home, buddy.”

The four decided to bring Seongwu home, for he was too drunk to function. They all met Daniel halfway and he offered to carry Seongwu on his back all the way outside the university. The guards gave them weird looks, but Minhyun was able to save all of them from possible sanctions by saying that Seongwu was sick. It was also a good thing that Seongwu wasn’t the kind of drunk who is noisy and keeps on drawing attention to the self. He was just sleeping soundly on Daniel’s back.

Minhyun and Jaehwan went back to the dorms after hailing a cab for Chungha and making sure that Jinri would get home safely. Daniel offered to share a cab with Jinri, since they lived in the same building and would just bring Seongwu to his apartment instead. He knew that Seongwu would have a really bad hangover in the next day, and since the boy lives alone, it would be better to have someone with him to take care of him when the hangover strikes.

Daniel took the seat in front, while Jinri and Seongwu sat in the back. She doesn’t know how Seongwu ended up laying his head on her lap and holding her hand as he slept, but it brought butterflies to her stomach. It felt weird-- good weird.

However, all good things come to an end, they say.

“Heehyun..” Seongwu mumbled in his sleep, giving Jinri’s hand a squeeze.

Jinri tried her best to keep a straight face. She felt Daniel gaze through the rearview mirror, and the boy looked apologetic, as if he was the one at fault. Awkward silence filled the cab ride home after that, even until they reached Daniel’s room. It was even more awkward than seeing her ex-boyfriend’s friend playing with his cats.

“I was sincere when I said I was happy that you guys are becoming friends, Jinri.” Daniel was the first one to break the silence between the two. He fixed the blanket on Seongwu, making sure it covered him enough so he won’t get cold. He then looked at Jinri, giving her a look that she hasn’t seen before. He looked serious and worried. “I want you to be careful though, I don’t want you to get hurt in the end.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, yes i am still alive. and i am back. work has been eating me alive and finally, i managed to finish this chapter. 
> 
> ps, we're slowly getting there. the progress between the the characters (not just jinri and seongwu, but the over-all character line) might be slow because i want things to flow naturally and not seem forced (and i am hoping that they don't seem forced)
> 
> when will the next chapter be up? i'm still not sure. but i'll try my best to write when the inspiration comes because i also don't want to leave this story hanging.
> 
> leave a comment, a kudos, or something. i am hoping that someone will still read this after almost half a year of not updating.
> 
> xo


	17. (slowly) crossing the line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinri knows that she's too scared of a lot of things, that's why Jaehwan keeps on giving her a nudge. They're young anyways, they have an excuse to do dumb things and commit mistakes every now and then. (or the so called best friend talk between Jinri and Jaehwan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys and so with that i'm back, i'm still alive and kicking.  
> hope you can listen to hyukoh's song Love Ya since it's kind of my inspiration for this chapter.  
> (didn't have time to proofread the last parts of the chapter so if there are mistakes, i'm sorry :c)  
> xo

 

 

_Don’t be afraid, yeah I will stay_  
Kick our blanket, make it balloon  


There’s a really fine line between dreams and reality-- and sometimes, it’s hard to distinguish what is real from what is not. One can dream of what you badly wanted, but never be able to see it come to life. One can also be in a dream-like situation, and refuse to believe that it may be real because of the fear of waking up to nothingness.

Nothing’s wrong with getting lured into what you’ve been dreaming of. Even if you deny it, almost everyone is fueled by the pursuit of happiness. Every decision made is based on whether it will make one happy or not. It’s similar to a moth getting attracted to the bright and warm flame-- even though one may get burnt, we keep on coming close for we’re all aiming for that short and sweet moment of happiness. Regardless of whether we’d get hurt or not, we gather ample amount of courage just to get a glimpse of nirvana.  


_Hiding inside, I’ll blow all of my love to your lips_  
_Love this quiet moment_ _  
_

Never in her wildest dreams has Jinri thought about waking up to this kind of view-- Ong Seongwu, sleeping across her, her green and fluffy blanket wrapped around the boy as he slept soundly. The hood of his hoodie was covering almost half of his head as he hugged Jinri’s seal stuffed toy tightly. Huh. Jinri’s sleepy yet half awake mind thougt. She blinked dreamily as she stared at the boy in front of her. He does look like a seal.

To Jinri, it felt like a movie. Looking at Seongwu like this, as she blinked her eyes dreamily, it felt like her favorite song was _actually_ playing in the background. The sun was shining brightly on Seongwu’s face, making the constellation on his left cheek shine even brighter. His face looked really peaceful, as if he was in a good place in his sleep. It was nowhere near the look she saw on his face in the past weeks: troubled, frustrated and anxious. Oh, how much did Jinri wish that every single day would be like this for Seongwu. She didn’t like seeing his beautiful eyebrows creased. _  
_

_And you asked, I love you_  
How much can you love me  


_Is this even true?_ Jinri’s sleepy mind kept on repeating as she looked at the boy in front of her. She wanted to touch his face to confirm if it was, indeed, true, but she’s too afraid that she would end this short but sweet moment.

The Jinri from a few months ago cannot even imagine being this close. Just like what she kept on telling herself before all of this happened, she was content with what she had. Admiring Seongwu from afar was more than enough— the butterflies he brought to her stomach whenever she would see his smile from across campus was enough to keep her going for a week, to motivate and inspire her, and to bring her in a good mood. Seongwu was her happy crush— all good, nothing too serious. It was similar to the feeling brought by your high school crush, giddy, overjoyed, but nothing too serious, not much investment on the actual feeling. It was momentary, and it faded.

However, despite the sleepiness continuously tempting her back, Jinri knew that it was time to re-evaluate. After everything that happened, Jinri was not so sure anymore. Were her feelings towards the boy still the same? Was it still momentary? Will the butterflies in her stomach brought by Seongwu’s mesmerizing smile fade after a few hours of being pre-occupied or would it make its way back to her mind for no reason and make her smile like an idiot? Will admiring Seongwu from afar be enough after getting to know more about the boy, now that she was actually able to interact with him, talk to him and see him smile (and be the reason of it at some point)?

 

_Mmm just without a thousand words_  
And then I’ll say  
I love you 

 

“Jin..” Seongwu’s sleepy voice pulled her out of her train of thoughts. He opened his eyes slowly, blinking slowly as he yawned. “What time is it?”

“H-huh?” Jinri was still in a daze, not fully processing whatever the situation is. All that she knew was that Seongwu was right in front of her, and it felt like she was possessed or something similar to that.

While rubbing his left eye and yawning, Seongwu reached for his phone which was placed on the coffee table across the two of them. Jinri had to move her body backwards a little because if she didn’t, Seongwu might accidentally hit her with his shoulder and both of them would end up on the floor. How did she know? Seongwu was as clumsy as hell, and even on a flat surface, there was a 75% possibility of him tripping. He was that clumsy, and Jinri learned of it all the night before. Sh—

“DEAR JESUS GET UP, GET UP!” As if he was electrocuted, Seongwu got up from the couch, where we was previously laying down, struggling so hard to kick away the blanket that was wrapped around his body. “WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE! FUCK FUCK GET UP! WE CAN’T BE LATE!”

And that was when reality hit her— why Seongwu was sleeping beside her, why she ended up sleeping on the floor on a sitting position, her head close to Seongwu’s, and why her phone was continuously ringing.

What seemed like a dream-like background song was her alarm, and instead of bringing her to this movie-like situation, it was supposed to wake her up. 

Jinri’s mind went into a full state of panic as she got up, helping Seongwu out of the cocoon he made with the blanket. From a full state of panic, her mind was slowly going to autopilot, thinking of different ways on how to function decently with very little time.

_FUCK I CAN’T SCREW THIS UP._ Her mind kept on repeating as she hurriedly headed to the the bathroom for a quick shower while Seongwu kept his self busy with their unfinished business. _FUCK FUCK FUCK I CANNOT SCREW THIS UP AND FAIL!!!_

But how did things end up this way? 

 

 

 

Mid-semester. One of the most dreaded periods besides final wave of hell week at the end of the semester. The specific part of the semester which felt like every single professor in the university have all agreed to make everyone’s life a living hell.

“I’m not really sure about my analysis of this part. You should double check it and how I used the theory.” Jaehwan said, pointing at the specific highlighted parts in their first draft that he was talking about. The deadline for their thesis’ first draft is getting nearer, so their efforts on research and analysis has been doubled. To be the cherry on top of their oh-so-wonderful week, it was their semester’s first midterms so everyone’s a little on the edge, trying to fit all of their school responsibilities on their own plates.

Jinri nodded, adjusting her reading glasses as she scanned the part Jaehwan was talking about. “Alright, I’ll reorganize the structure after going through the whole thing. You should check my part as well, I’m not sure if my analysis is on point or if it’s lacking depth.”

When it came to analysis, Jaehwan does better, and she acknowledges it. On the other hand, Jinri’s analysis were more simple and straightforward, and she knows that she’s not the best in that area. It has always been Jaehwan’s strength. The way his mind works is totally different from Jinri’s, and she has always been amazed at how Jaehwan comes to a resolution. However, his thoughts and writing has always been scattered. That’s where Jinri comes in. She’s the one who polishes Jaehwan’s works and makes them more organized. In a way, both of their strengths and weaknesses complemented each other, and it’s one of the reasons why they still haven’t ended up fighting over their thesis. Most people say that doing your thesis with a friend can either make or break it, and to both of them, it was a piece of cake.

Silence followed after that. Both of them were too busy with their works, the sound of their laptop’s keyboards filled the air. However, Jaehwan’s not the type to keep still. The silence drives him crazy, and his mouth somewhat itches, especially after what he witnessed at the bonfire weeks ago.

“You know, Ji--”

Before Jaehwan could finish his sentence, Jinri cut him halfway. “Stop talking, I’m thinking.” He covered his mouth with her free hand as she scrolled through the file. If Jaehwan was the type who can’t keep his mouth shut, Jinri needed her silence. She gets distracted by the littlest of things that’s why she prefers to work alone. If only she could do her part alone, she would, but she knew she needed Jaehwan’s help so she had no choice.

Jaehwan stayed still and waited for Jinri to remove her hand from covering his mouth. And when she did, that’s when the boy started whining. “Come on, Jin. Let’s take a thirty minute break. We’ve been working on this for more than two hours now, I’m going crazy if this goes on.”

Jinri stared at Jaehwan with a blank expression. Before the two started their thesis, Jaehwan had come to an agreement with Jinri: whenever the two are working on their thesis, Jinri is responsible for making Jaehwan focus. The boy knew how much of a procrastinator he is, and now that he’s not working on it alone, he was being considerate. 

She let out a sigh before nodding, she was feeling a little burnt out as well. Her eyes started hurting and her mind was slowly getting dysfunctional due to information overload. Reaching for the menu, she ordered for a glass of coffee milkshake, asking Jaehwan as well if he wanted anything. The boy just shook his head.

Jaehwan let out a small hurray, before saving his work and opening _The Sims_ on his laptop. Yes, Jaehwan is a big _The Sims_ fan. It is one of the things that Jinri and him agree on. “I’m dying to ask you a question, though.”

With a curious look on her face, Jinri rested her head on the desk, looking at the boy beside her. It kind of made her curious and nervous at the same time. “..what?”

“I didn’t want to pry, but I--”

“Really? You didn’t want to pry? Are you fucking real, Jaehwan?” Jinri said with a small laugh.

Jaehwan rolled his eyes before covering Jinri’s face with his palm. “What I meant is that, I didn’t want to make you awkward and conscious but I’ve noticed that Seongwu’s around more often, and that you guys seem to closer.”

If she was going to fool herself, then maybe she would have said no. But then, what Jaehwan said was the truth. Seongwu _was_ around more often. For some reason, he started eating lunch with them (not only him, but Daniel also became an addition to their usual lunch squad). In addition to that, being partners in their media studies class was not much of help. Since midterms were coming, more activities and seatworks came their way, and most were supposed to be done in pairs. So even if she likes it or not, she had to spend time with Seongwu. She wasn’t sure whether that brought them closer together, but Seongwu seemed more at ease whenever he was around her.

Jinri let out a deep sigh as she sat up, running her fingers through her hair. “To be honest..” she started, staring blankly at the blinking line on her laptop. “I’m not really sure about how I should feel about that.”

Jaehwan tried his best to focus his attention on his laptop. He was busy renovating his sim’s room anyways. And besides, he knew Jinri would feel awkward to talk if he kept all of his attention on her, especially when she’s talking about Seongwu. He knew her that well. “Mm?” He tried his best to sound nonchalant. “Why’s that?”

“I never saw myself in this situation, you know. I told you, admiring him from afar was more than enough.” 

No matter how much she tried to make herself believe that admiring Seongwu from afar was enough, she knew that convincing herself would require at least 250% of her effort and will power. She’s already been this far, and no matter how the rational side of her brain keep on telling her to stop, turning on that red light to make her reconsider things, the sly thing inside of her called emotion keeps on getting ahead of her head. She was sure that at the moment, she was acting with the aid of her emotions, not her mind.

This time, Jaehwan looked at her. He wanted to look at her in the eyes in order to know what’s really going on inside her head. Even though Jinri likes to think that she does so well at keeping a poker face, to Jaehwan, she is an open book. Even the littlest movement of her eyes tells something, and knowing her for years and being with her almost 17 hours a day helped a lot. “What’s stopping you?”

Not knowing what to say, Jinri just shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“You don’t know or you don’t want me to know?” And as always, Jaehwan hit the right spot.

The truth is, she does know the reason why. She knows why there’s always that red light inside her head, but she’s just too shy to let anyone know. Even to herself, she was too afraid to admit it. But maybe, it really is the time to do so. “Jaehwan..” she let out a soft sigh, closing her laptop before taking a sip of her milkshake. _Okay, here goes nothing._ “I’m scared.” It was more like a whisper.

There, she admitted it. _Finally_. Not only to herself, but to one of the people she trusts the most. Yes, she was scared. She was scared of the possibilities, of whatever may happen if she had the courage to take that leap. Ong Seongwu was _just_ supposed to be this good memory, and getting closer to him makes him more real than he already is. Jinri’s beginning to see more of him, she’s getting to know him more, he’s becoming more human inside her head. 

Ong Seongwu is a dream, a beautiful one indeed. And she doesn’t want to ruin it. 

But now, she wasn’t so sure of it anymore.

“Nothing’s happened yet, but you’re already scared of the consequences.” And there it goes again, the phrase that she’s been trying to avoid. Jaehwan never fails to reinforce these kinds of things in order to make Jinri realize what she has been missing from forming a big great wall in front of her, stopping her from doing things that she should be doing. At some point, Jaehwan felt like a dad, pushing her little girl out in the world to explore. He doesn’t even understand where this fear comes from. 

Yes, Jinri is scared. Call it overthinking, or just planning ahead, but she was too scared to get hurt. This version of Seongwu is more able to hurt her, than the image of his she made inside her head. It couldn’t get any real than that.

“I don’t want to ruin it.” It was more of a whisper. 

“Ruin what? You guys aren’t even dating yet.” Jaehwan shrugged nonchalantly, his eyes totally focused on the sim that he’s been playing.

“I don’t want to date him.” _Lies._

“Lies.” Again, Jaehwan is her conscience. It’s like he’s the voice at the back of her head.

“It’s true.”

“It’s true.” Jaehwan mocked her before rolling his eyes.

“Why won’t you believe me?” She doesn’t even believe herself anymore.

“Because I’m your best friend, and I know that deep inside, you want him to like you back.”

“No.” _Okay, Jinri. Fool yourself._ “I’m okay with liking him from afar.”

“Bullshit.”

“Don’t curse.”

“Oh fuck you, stop bullshitting me. You’re just too scared of the possibilities, you’re scared of it getting real, too real that you might get hurt.” Everything Jaehwan said hit the spot, every single word was right. He does know her too well, she was getting scared that she is too much of an open book to this person in front of her.

She let out a sigh, nodding slowly, admitting her defeat. “That’s the point.” There’s no use in trying to deny, she’s talking to Kim Jaehwan for crying out loud. When Jaehwan knows he’s right, it’s because he _is_ right.

“Fuck the point.” And Jaehwan looked like he regretted every single second of him saying those three words.

“That sounded wrong.” Jinri tried her best to stop herself from laughing, but no. It really sounded too wrong to even ignore it. She burst out into a laughing fit, Jaehwan laughing along with her.

“Okay, point taken. But what I was trying to say is that, _girl_ , stop being scared. There’s a lot of things that you could’ve done but instead, you’re too _okay,”_ Jaehwan even gestured quotation marks to make a point, which he succeded in doing so— “of being on the side, watching from afar, see I’m even using your words. So, go out there and spread your wings, do stuff you never knew you could, but please be responsible. We’re young anyways, we have an excuse for doing dumb stuff every now and then.”

Jinri brought her hands together into a praying position before nodding. “Amen to that, brother.”

With that, she earned a meeting with Jaehwan’s palm once again. Instead of giving out a violent reaction, she just laughed and waited for the boy to be over with it. She deserved it anyways.

“What time are you leaving anyways?” Jaehwan asked as he shut down his laptop.

Jinri took a look at her wristwatch as she ate the whipped cream on top of her glass of milkshake. “If he won’t be late, he’s supposed to be here any minute.”

And with the word _he,_ she is referring to Ong Seongwu. Yes, you got that right. She is meeting Seongwu right after her small thesis session with Jaehwan. Since they work as a pair for their media studies class, they needed to work on a paper together— an analysis of a movie they were tasked to watch. And due to their busy schedule, they had no choice but to pull an all nighter in order to finish the said requirement. Besides, it didn’t seem that hard anyways. It was just a reaction paper, with a theory backing it up. That is just a piece of cake.

“Good.” Jaehwan said, placing his laptop inside his bag. “I need to leave anyways. I’m supposed to meet someone I met on Bumble.” He said with a grin.

Jinri raised a brow, stopping halfway from drinking her milkshake. “What the hell is Bumble?”

“A dating app.” Jaehwan said nonchalantly as he began to type on his phone.

“Like tinder?” 

“Yeah, but more decent. Like if on tinder people say, _hi wanna make out?_ On Bumble, people say, _hey do you want to go out for coffee and then let’s see where it takes us.”_ Jaehwan showed a screenshot of his convo with a girl named _Roa,_ and it was indeed, true. “See, a little bit decent.” 

“Please don’t tell me more about your sex life, I beg you.” 

“Hey, I don’t hook up with girls there. I just go out on dates, experimenting, you know.” Jaehwan shrugged before placing his phone on the desk.

Jinri nodded, kinda convinced. “So where are you taking this girl you’re meeting?”

“Dinner, she said she wanted pizza and she wants to prove that pineapples don’t go well with pizza, and you know me. I want to make a point. Pineapples and pizza go _really_ well together.” Jinri nodded, totally agreeing to that. “And then after that a movie, I guess.”

“Wow,” Jinri couldn’t help but clap. “You’re all grown up now. Even with all the thesis and stuff you still have time to date.”

Jaehwan smiled a proud smile. “I know, I know. You’re going to be the best man on my wedding, but not with this girl because she doesn’t like pineapples on pizza.” 

“Alright, I’ll keep my best man outfit at the back of my closet since she’s not the one.” Jinri said with a grin before using her straw to eat the whipped cream on top of her milkshake.

“Speaking of the devil, he’s here.” Jaehwan’s eyes slowly shifted to the window. “Oh, with a big puppy following him.”

Confused, Jinri raised a brow as she shifted her gaze from her amused friend to the window. There she saw Seongwu, talking to Daniel as the they walked towards the cafe entrance. He was laughing heartily, amused at what the other was talking about. Daniel was animatedly telling a story to Seongwu, using his whole body to retell the story.

Jinri watched Seongwu the whole time. The boy looked beautiful whenever he laughs and smiles. She liked seeing him like this, and no matter how hard she tried to stop herself from entertaining this thought, she wished, even the tiniest bit in her, that one day, she can be the reason behind those beautiful smiles she liked.

“Oh wow, love struck.” Jaehwan waved his hand in front of Jinri’s face, trying to get the attention of his friend who totally zoned out.

Jinri blinked and cleared her throat before slapping Jaehwan’s hand away. “Shut up.” She tried to fix her hair and act as if nothing happened, and this just made the boy shake his head while whispering to his self the _things you do for love_. 

The bell on the door rang the moment Daniel pushed the door open with his whole body, holding his skateboard with one hand. Seongwu followed, fixing the strap of the duffel bag hanging on his left shoulder while holding the strap of his camera hanging around his neck. The two scanned the place, looking for Jinri.

Jinri raised her hand and waved, immediately catching Daniel’s attention. The boy smiled as soon as he saw Jinri and waved back. The way he looked at Jinri made it seem like he has a tail wagging excitedly behind him. _Huh, he does look like a big puppy._ Jinri smiled back, a little amused and amazed at the fact that Jaehwan was right. Daniel is a big puppy.

“Oh look, the man of your dreams.” Jaehwan whispered to Jinri before letting out a soft laugh. His gaze was shifting from the two men walking towards their table and the girl beside him whose cheeks were slowly turning red.

Jinri couldn’t help but blush, and hitting the boy beside her would make it more obvious. Besides, the were getting closer, there’s no use in making a fuss out of blushing. She just wanted to thank the orange tint of the lights used in the pub which helps her hide her blushing cheeks.

“Hey, guys.” Seongwu said with a smile, waving at Jinri and Jaehwan as he headed towards the empty spot beside Jaehwan since it’s the closest to him. He looked at Jinri and smiled, bowing slightly before taking a seat.

“What’s up, Jaehwan, Jinri!” Daniel greeted them with a wide smile as well, giving Jaehwan a high five before looking at Jinri, offering his hand for a high five as well.Jinri smiled back and high-fived Daniel before the boy took the seat beside her.

“What were you guys up to?” Jaehwan asked as he looked at the two guys who were settling down on their seats.

“I helped Seongwu hyung with his Photography class. I was his model.” Daniel said with a smile. 

“Mm. I was experimenting with movement, and so I had Daniel skateboard for me.” Seongwu said with a smile. 

“Wow, you should teach me how to use a skateboard sometime soon, Niel.” Jaehwan said while fixing his things, looking like he’s getting ready to go. “And so since you guys are here now, I’m going to go. Take care of my friend over here, she’s too clumsy for her own good.”

“Don’t worry, Jaehwan.” Daniel said with a grin, putting his arm loosely around Jinri’s shoulders, patting her arm gently. “She’s safe with us.” The boy looked at Jinri with a smile, wiggling his brows. 

Jinri raised a brow as she looked at the pink-haired boy in the eyes. Amused, she shook her head and pinched Daniel’s cheeks so hard, making the boy whine in pain as he let the girl go.

Seongwu laughed softly, shaking his head as well as he watched Daniel rub his cheeks. “That’s why I kept on telling you to stop being touchy with people, Niel.”

“Jinri and I are friends,” Daniel said, his lips slightly jutting out into a small pout. “Aren’t we, Jin?”

“Yes, but my personal space please.” Jinri created a small circle beside her with her hand, representing her personal bubble. 

“See? This is the real Jinri, Niel.” Jaehwan said as he stood up, wearing his backpack strap. “Violent, snobbish. Unlike the cute one you kept on talking about. Everytime you say she’s cute, I’m like, _are you sure you’re talking about the right Jinri?”_

“Why? I think she’s cute.” Daniel said, shrugging slightly as he patted his cheeks. 

_I’m not cute,_ Jinri thought to herself as she started fixing her things as well. It was getting late as well, and if they didn’t get going, they probably wouldn’t finish their reaction paper in time, and that is a big no no.

“And this is why people say you’re flirty, Niel.” Seongwu stood up as well, fixing his bag straps on his shoulder. 

“Hey, I’m not trying to flirt with everyone. Do you want me to prove it?” 

“Try me, then.” Seongwu said with a grin, obviously teasing Daniel.

“You know that freshman who sits beside me in our Media Studies class, right? I thought she was just friendly and polite since I’m a sunbae, but then I always see her at my DJ gigs? And after working on this paper yesterday she kept on texting me? And I just don’t know why?” Daniel was animatedly telling his story, even using his hands to gesture some parts of the story.

Jaehwan and Seongwu both looked a little confused as the they stared at Daniel. 

“And at what point were you trying to tell us that you’re not flirty? Because there’s no trace of it in there, bro.” Jaehwan said, an eyebrow raised.

“Totally not proving it, man.” Seongwu said, shaking his head as he crossed his arms across his chest before looking at Jinri as if he’s waiting for a supporting statement from her.

Oh shit, be cool girl, she thought to herself as she cleared her throat. She had to come up with a witty answer in a span of one second, and thank heavens her brain was kinda cooperating. “Nuh-uh. Not today, Niel. Totally not helping.”

Jinri wasn’t sure if she saw it right, but Seongwu’s lips slowly turned into a small smile before he diverted his gaze towards Daniel, who looked like he was defeated since his arguments didn’t support his claim.

“Anyways, I’m out my bros. And you, Jinri. Be normal.” He looked at his friend and gave her a meaning look, to which Jinri just rolled her eyes. Chuckling softly, Jaehwan started walking away while waving. “See you around.”

“Hey Jae, don’t forget about our gig this weekend!” Seongwu said, half-shouting.

“Got you fam!” Jaehwan did one final wave before walking out of the door.

“Anyways, back to my point, I’m not a total flirt. Nope, nope. No no.” Daniel said, continuously shaking his head as the three went out of the pub as well.

_Looks like this will be a long walk home._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and so that was just a teaser lol  
> working on the next chapter xo


End file.
